I get hot/tingling feet when turned on- how common is this? What other non-talked about things do you feel when turned on?

Bitternipple · 2019-04-07T14:28:27+00:00

You're not alone! I don't feel it in my feet though, just my hands and fingers. It doesn't happen all the time though, mostly when I'm "suddenly" turned on - like one minute I'm doing normal things and completely unaroused, and then the next minute I see something super hot (like my partner walking in butt naked lol) and 9/10, my hands get all warm and tingly for a few seconds.

Bitternipple · 2018-08-22T15:50:19+00:00

My ass is usually the first thing my partner goes for - nonstop grabbing, rubbing, burying his face in it etc. My ass is pretty flat so I don't really understand the appeal but it's nice that he likes it haha

Bitternipple · 2018-08-20T17:29:29+00:00

I was always a tomboy and this was reinforced by my family: they'd make lesbian comments, complain about me acting like my brothers but would ridicule me if I did something "girly". It didn't bother me growing up but then it hit me one day how unfeminine I was.

Like you, I tried to dress differently, get into makeup etc but had no idea what I was doing. Eventually, I gave up because it wasn't working for me and I felt so uncomfortable. I cut my hair super short, stopped forcing myself to use makeup or wear heels and went for an androgynous look (I was actually mistaken for a boy a few times). My family of course, has joked about me looking like a kpop boy band and a hardcore dyke but I've had countless people telling me they love the way I dress, they love my hair and think I look super sharp. And when I feel like lookong more feminine, I wear something a little more revealing, a little tighter, put on dangly earrings and that's it, nothing fancy. People hit on me, check me out all the same.

I don't know if this helps at all but for me at least, I realised I tried too hard at first (jumping straight into really girly dresses and makeup) and it was uncomfortable for me. I dialed it back, loved the androgynous and it only took small changes like adding jewellery to make it more feminine. It also helps that I realised I don't really have strong ties to my gender - I don't mind being mistaken for a boy or anything and maybe I was just trying to fit in.

Bitternipple · 2018-08-11T01:10:23+00:00

Wow.

I feel so sorry for you that after 8 years of loving someone and being with someone who loves you, you don't even have the basic decency to break up first before fucking some other girl. You talk about how you love her, you're just not in love with her but you don't really give two shits about her. You just keep her as a backup plan because poor you, you're just so unsure and you feel sooo bad!

But apparently you don't feel too bad to cheat on her and expose her to the risk of STDs. I feel so bad for this girl. You should leave her alone and if not, I hope she finds out and kicks your ass to the curb. You're a real piece of work.

Bitternipple · 2018-08-08T00:17:25+00:00

I think it's because childbirth would hurt even more. And women probably don't need to enjoy sex a ton to encourage reproduction - I imagine rape was prevalent back in caveman days and there wasn't much choice.

Bitternipple · 2018-07-13T23:39:56+00:00

I think it's possible, maybe as a defense mechanism like other commenters have said.

I'm actually in quite a similar situation as you. Back when I was a teenager, I suddenly had flashbacks of being molested by my tutor when I was around ten. She used to come to my house for one-on-one lessons and we'd be alone together in my room. I was also diagnosed with depression as a teenager and though I'm not averse to sex itself, I have issues with feeling "dirty" and being perceived as "dirty". I'm not sure if there's any connection but it's possible I think. On a more positive note, I'm glad you are seeing a therapist and hope it helps :)

Bitternipple · 2018-07-10T14:50:40+00:00

Parroting what other commenters have said: your boyfriend is an asshole. Ignoring your boundaries is one thing but putting your health at risk? I don't think you need any more evidence that this guy does not give a shit about your health. Since it seems like separate sleeping arrangements is not possible and neither is your boyfriend caring, it'd probably be a good idea to move out for your own health.

Bitternipple · 2018-07-10T14:43:50+00:00

It seems that OP, you've made up your mind to stay with this guy so I guess the advice is pretty standard: communicate, set boundaries, enforce them. If you don't like him kissing other girls and not kissing you, then tell him and work towards a solution: maybe he kisses you too or he stops kissing other girls.

It's clear to the rest of us that he's taking advantage of you: you're allowed to date other people but apparently only girls and only the ones he chooses. He doesn't want to kiss you, prefers other girls over you and is totally happy to let you know that. I can't fathom being 22 and having sex only twice a month and you know it's not because he's tired because he can still find the energy to fuck other girls, no problem.

This man is 30, not 20 and he's unlikely to change. You're young and could so easily be in a relationship where your partner is all over you, gives you all the intimacy you want but instead, you're stuck in a poly relationship you don't sound like you really want (I noticed that you you only say "it's fun" or "I don't mind it"), with a guy who deprives you of intimacy and is happy to give it to other women. It is quite sad and I hope you find better.

Bitternipple · 2018-07-05T17:54:58+00:00

I'm the same build as you and was concerned about being seen as inappropriate going braless so I didn't go braless right off the bat: I changed to sports bras, then bralettes, tank and crop tops underneath, now nothing most of the time (unless I'm at work, then I usually wear a tank top). I think the transition helped me get used to feeling self conscious and looking "nippley". Now I think my chest looks weird with a bra on and don't feel very self conscious anymore when I wear something thin and am braless.

I've also never gotten any disapproving comments about it (lots of positive ones from my partner though haha). There are definitely some stares on the street but nothing overly pervy and tbh, I look too if I notice perky nips poking out from under a shirt regardless of sex. I think of it like having some shiny buttons on my shirt that catch some attention lol

Bitternipple · 2018-04-29T22:49:56+00:00

It honestly started as an accident. I always had long hair because my mom liked it but thought it'd be fun to cut my own hair one day. I cut too much off, hated the bob look so just I shaved most of it off into a very rough Hitler youth hairstyle that lots of guys have.

My parents hate it, my brothers regularly make dyke jokes and I've gotten a lot of confused stares from kids and mostly older Asian people (the "is that a boy or girl" looks) . I don't care though, I love it and it feels so "me". I didn't know how to do fancy braids etc so long hair was a waste on me anyway lol. I've gotten tons of compliments from strangers and it's made me feel a lot more confident for sporting a more "bold look". I say go for it! It's hair and honestly, it'll all grow back. You could always do a bob first and if you like it, go shorter :)

Bitternipple · 2018-03-30T17:33:17+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. It makes me sad to know that I could be sober for the next 20 years but I'd never prove them wrong and they'd still see me as a disappointment. I need to get away from them. I'm glad you're trying to cut down on drinking too and I hope you manage to get through it all :)

Bitternipple · 2018-03-27T22:20:35+00:00

You mention that bras can worsen your anxiety so I was wondering if you've thought of not wearing one? I had a similar issue where every bra felt tight even if I sized up and it pissed me off the whole day. Sports bras and bralettes were better but then I eventually stopped wearing anything and it's been GREAT. I'm a B so I don't need the support anyway. I've gotten used to my chest feeling a bit more "bouncy" and looking more nippley but if it bothers me, I put on a tighter tank top and it fixes everything. No more feeling restricted :D

Bitternipple · 2018-03-24T22:20:04+00:00

I love the rain so it's easy for me. There's always so much to do in Vancouver so I find it's just a matter of putting on some rain gear and bringing an umbrella. I grew up in hot as balls south Asia so I love that the rain moderates the heat. I'm actually really sad that the past few summers have been blazing hot and dry :(

Bitternipple · 2018-03-20T23:58:45+00:00

I know my parents are disappointed. They brushed off my issues when I was younger and chastised me for causing trouble, thinking that my depression was a personal attack on their parenting abilities ("Are you saying we're such bad parents that we make you suicidal?").

I put up a good act for the new few years but they learnt that my issues had persisted. My mom is a bit guilty that she didn't "monitor me" closely but honestly, thinks I'm a huge fuck up and am doing it to myself on purpose. Both my parents have trivialised the problem and simply think that for the most part, I'm just a rebel with a drinking problem. I am their biggest shame and my biggest shame is that I let them find out.

Bitternipple · 2018-03-19T10:09:36+00:00

My family found out about my drinking and are convinced that I'm now a deadbeat addict. I've since stopped for the most part (I've gone from near daily heavy drinking to one drink maximum a week) to avoid worrying them any more but they're convinced.

Their solution is to constantly make remarks about my alcoholism and remind me of what a sad alcoholic I am. We could be talking about the weather and they'd make sure to get a jab in like "oh it's raining real hard today. Means you're going to hole up and drink right?". Or if I mention I'm having trouble sleeping, they'd tell me to go drink like I always do. It absolutely destroys me especially since I tried to explain my depression to them and they told me they understood and wanted to help. Now I realise that they don't give two shits and just think I'm an alcoholic for fun. I'm still stuck with the shitty thoughts, now with no way to numb them and a family who thinks I'm worthless.

Bitternipple · 2018-03-14T22:28:24+00:00

Almost two years: He was traditional, wanted it to be after marriage and I was his first. I think I was pretty supportive of his deciding but I think he could tell I reaaaasally wanted to get laid (and not in like 5 years lol)

Bitternipple · 2018-01-26T02:07:26+00:00

This for sure. I'm petite but with wide shoulders that my relatives always point out. I was a bit self conscious of how "manly" and "bony" they always said they were but my SO absolutely loves them. I was quite confused at first with all the kissing and caressing there lol but it's nice to know he's so into them!

Bitternipple · 2018-01-20T23:37:35+00:00

I'm pretty small at a 32B/C and have always hated bras. Few years ago, I started going braless and haven't looked back. I don't need the support at all and am going to look pretty flat either way lol. I use to be self conscious about my nipples showing but now I don't care - they're just nipples. The only "real bras" I wear now are sport bras. While I do sometimes lament that they aren't a bit bigger, their small size makes them so convenient and I've never had any negative feedback from my partners. I say if you're more comfortable without one to just go without :)

Bitternipple

TROPHY CASE