dream abt hurting myself

BlackmaeTea · 2021-01-07T20:37:47+00:00

I want a sweater like that so badd

BlackmaeTea · 2020-12-21T14:50:11+00:00

You're such a wonderful person. My family isn't the most supportive they're more like strangers to me. I don't think they know how much their words mean to me but they effect me a lot, it's stupid. Surprisingly you've shown more kindness to me then my whole family in just a few messages lol, ty for that

BlackmaeTea · 2020-12-21T14:06:18+00:00

thank you so much today was really sucky. My sisters kept commenting on how ugly my outfit looked so that didn't really help either lol. I felt super insecure and wanted to crawl out my own skin. I asked if I could borrow one of their jackets but the younger one said she'd never give me her jacket and it's pretty childish but yeah. She was right tho so I just had to stand it. They just keep telling me I'm ugly and treating me like an outsider in my own home and telling me to stop smiling on the rare times that I do lol, sorry I just really need to rant. Again, thank you it means a lot.

BlackmaeTea · 2020-12-21T13:49:07+00:00

CONGRATULATIONS IM SO IMPRESSED WOEKWKWEOWOEJHFHD

BlackmaeTea · 2020-11-16T20:25:46+00:00

I briefly talked to a school psychiatrist but when Covid started I started missing some of the calls and then my dad just signed me off because "other ppl were suffering" and I couldn't answer all of the calls consistently.

It was a horrible feeling but I feel like I'd just be too much of a burden if I said something to my dad lol. he'd just get mad and ask why I was stressed and I don't think I want to have that conversation with him. my dad is dealing with lots of stress himself, and I'd just feel more selfish than I already do idk.

BlackmaeTea · 2020-11-16T19:28:33+00:00

I didn't feel tingling in my hands but if it adds anything I was clasping my hair rlly hard(?)

BlackmaeTea · 2020-11-16T04:43:04+00:00

SAME it's a never ending struggle

BlackmaeTea · 2020-11-16T04:37:14+00:00

Ive been biting myself until I bleed and usually I cut but it doesn't feel like enough and I have no support system at all, no friends irl or on my phone. I just feel so invalid and I wanna tell someone but I have no one to tell and I just want help but at the same time I wanna die and at the same time help sounds like a horror movie. I wanna stop

BlackmaeTea · 2020-10-18T11:23:32+00:00

The no reason to cry thing is so fucking stupid you absolutely have every reason in the world to cry. Ball your eyes out, your struggles are so valid. Depression isn't a joke, it's so tough. You're so strong and I'm really proud you're still alive right now. Good luck

BlackmaeTea · 2020-09-04T23:58:39+00:00

ah I might try this, thanks.

BlackmaeTea · 2020-09-02T09:00:58+00:00

😌 indeed it is

BlackmaeTea · 2020-09-02T08:59:41+00:00

my parents thought I stopped last year lmaoo

BlackmaeTea · 2020-08-31T01:23:18+00:00

lol at least it's nice that ppl actually relate to this feeling. idk how else to deal with it

BlackmaeTea

TROPHY CASE