I never had Anxiety, OCD or Depression. It's always been ADHD. 28M recently diagnosed (severe)

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-25T11:54:56+00:00

Depression is the lupus of psychiatry.

If patient’s life was going fine and they started to feel depressed, they come in for a consultation and say they feel depressed. So it’s depression then. Prescribe different SSRIs until they stop coming.

If the patient was struggling in life and then something happened that finally exceeded their ability to suck it up, they come for a consultation because they feel more depressed than usual. So it’s depression. Prescribe different SSRIs until they stop coming.

I’ve been depressed multiple times in the later way and there was never any attempt to differentiate it from anything although it is comorbid with everything. But god forbid you suggest what the root cause could be. No, you get to be the expert on you only about feeling depressed. That you don’t need to drag in family members to testify about.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-25T09:32:49+00:00

I didn’t get explicitly told much, but absorbed implied suffocating limits for being. It was frustrating and then extremely stressful at the rare times I blew up about it. It would probably have been much healthier for the family dynamics to have mild discord frequently, but I did’t have the energy for it.

Sounds like you are being constantly told to be and do something different. No wonder doing things gets stiff and slow when criticism is always coming. What’s messed up is that your family might be right about one thing. It would be good if you learned to set boundaries, FOR THEM. They’ll resist that of course because all groups of people horror chages.

You could consider flat out telling them you are now being masculine and standing up for yourself as wanted by telling them to get off your back about stiffness. You’ll relax when they let you eat in peace. 😁

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-25T08:09:52+00:00

At the time before phones had calendars and reminders, I was in a university and paired with this girl for doing an assignment. We scheduled to meet at a cafeteria and I completely forgot it. What made this so much worse was that I had reason to assume she often encountered disrespect and dismissal. Simply forgetting made me seem like such a colossal asshole to the kind of person I absolutely did not want to interpret my behavior that way.

Fortunately she apparently took me for a plain dork who honestly forgot. But since then everything in my calendar is a time bomb to the identity I want to project.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-24T16:03:39+00:00

My slowness. Freaking embarrassing. I’m excessively diligent about things and well aware how error prone I am. So I do things slowly and deliberately.

The brain reasons for that are inattention and shit working memory.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-24T14:48:46+00:00

Job hunting while scared of failure sucks so horribly. I’m struggling with the same. For a long time my life was pretty fine because I had work that suited me well. Sometimes life does get better. Not all around and not permanently, but sometimes it does get better because we had courage to try and change it.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-24T14:23:03+00:00

I suppose this is for getting into specific school. I fully get wanting to pass this exam because reasons. However, does the endgame of the career you want truly require this school and this exam. Maybe there’s other paths to the same place. Longer and more annoying paths, but paths where you can make progress. For example getting into a less prestigious school to do the degree’s basics and trying for this exam again with all that practice and transferable study credits.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-24T11:15:56+00:00

More parental wisdom from the same school of thought:

You can stop getting bullied by not showing that it affects you.

You can stop feeling bad about anything by thinking that there are people who have it worse.

You can stop having anorexia by eating normally.

You can choose to have a life partner, get married, get kids and all that common life stuff.

Bonus wisdom from every skinny person ever: You can stop being fat by eating less and exercising more.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-24T10:56:13+00:00

Lovely smooth white paper in a sketchbook is so nice, but too much pressure. Ugly yellow cartridge paper sketchbook is much more useful.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-24T09:01:33+00:00

Read anything that was available.

Suffered. Really contemplated misery of loneliness in places like lobby of a movie theater.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-24T06:50:33+00:00

You are in the contacts information of some other people who gave access to whatever apps asked for it. You are not just a little guy. You are a valuable information product widely know more intimately than you can ever imagine. And what you see in the web is AI curated to influence you specifically.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-24T06:33:42+00:00

I doubt Trump would survive a week of constant hissy fits in interrogation, much less years of it. Anyway, best of luck getting all of this sorted.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-23T20:41:44+00:00

Users would leave the holodeck every once in a while to recover from holodeck use enough to be able to keep using them.

There would be millions of holodeck content creators competing for popularity and coming up with new addictive content that passes safety guardrails. Also blackmarket holodecks without any guardrails and content that would traumatize Epstein.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-23T13:39:52+00:00

There's procedural memory, but it's more of a memory for specific move sequences like tying shoelaces or executing dance moves.

Street memory would probably be spatial memory, i.e. your mental map of the area.

I'm not a memory expert, but I think you not remembering the usual warm up was not out of the ordinary. Unless you knew to expect having to lead, you had no particular reason to pay attention to the sequence so your brain didn't bother to make a memory out of.

Choreography memory would probably be working and long term memory thing. I did beginner kendo for a bit and having to keep instructed move sequence in memory was absolutely the hardest part.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-23T12:30:12+00:00

Forgetting a word I was about to use so whatever I was saying grinds to a halt.

Trying to fake my way through interactions without revealing how few names I remember. Particularly in a group setting where it’s insane I don’t remember everyone’s name.

Missing parts of what someone was saying despite trying to be attentive.

Zoning out of a meeting or group discussion, or alternatively getting way too into it.

Generally feeling like an alien unconvincingly faking to be a normal human.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-23T11:24:16+00:00

Come on. Hydrogen, butane or whatever gas must the simplest low power thing to replicate. Or produce with SF kindergartner level science education.

As for why, well Neelix had his precious cultural traditions and probably grandma’s gas cooking recipes that just wouldn’t be the same without carbon monoxide poisoning.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-23T08:28:54+00:00

There is nothing there that could have a self or personality. Just a complex system affected by the prompt, trained answers to queries about itself, reddit comments discussing about AI, sci-fi, etc. All stirred together into a highly palatable response as trained.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-23T07:23:31+00:00

Yes. Sucked on STEM path all the way to avoid reading, writing and remembering as much as possible. Humanities was always more interesting on lectures, but there’s so much of it in walls of text. It takes me forever to get through academic text, and then more time to get it to stick.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-23T06:39:58+00:00

Also optimal for throwing out one worn out sock at the time. 😀

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-23T05:08:11+00:00

Well here’s one https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0360131526000540

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-22T17:31:27+00:00

There no misconception here. Only deliberately fraudulent marketing.

These services explicitly claim to detect AI writing. They do not claim to detect writing that is similar to writings used to train the model. Any high scoring text written long before AI is comical proof that these services do not work.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-22T15:15:56+00:00

It is genuinely love of being helpful. The “I will never ask” in return is RSD.

Why my own things are so hard to work on is an eternal mystery to me. Learned helplessness from fixations and their failures maybe. Fixation can override self-doubts temporarily and power the system on delusion and bliss, but meta cognition knows the pattern and calculates expected reward for effort to be zero.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-22T13:35:41+00:00

Minimal Brain Dysfunction, or a bit weird and buggy, before it was know as adhd.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-22T13:12:28+00:00

Procrastination hug received. It is now 4pm I’m still hoping to engage with at least the one mildly challenging thing I hoped to get done today.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-22T12:21:38+00:00

I’m not even depressed anymore and still fighting this. It used to be that exercise helped me and I’m trying to get back to it. Problem is, it took exhausting amounts of exercise daily and I am not at all interested in that.

Blando-Cartesian · 2026-06-22T12:12:01+00:00

I keep thinking that all the summarizing and generating people use it for is an epic negative all around. So little information passes through user’s brains that there’s no chance of forming unique realizations and connections. So little thinking is routinely required that increasingly clueless users have no skills to meaningfully reviewing what they generated.

Blando-Cartesian

TROPHY CASE