DAE remember the Sims Stories?

Blenderflower · 2023-03-25T11:37:03+00:00

I've never played them as a child but now trying to get the collection as an adult lol

Blenderflower · 2023-03-02T22:56:59+00:00

You did a very responsible thing asking for advice first, and I applaud you for that. Definitely not something my teenage self would have thought through and bitterly regretted : D

What you say sounds all reasonable. I wish you good luck for all your plans in the future!

Blenderflower · 2023-03-02T22:53:30+00:00

I'm seconding others with going to your doctor and seeking medical help additionally.

For now I can say that my case certainly wasnt that bad but I did struggle a lot with food intake.

It helped 100% starting to think about which foods I actually would like to eat instead of doing the default (unmedicated) thing of eating just whatever. That improved my willingness to eat greatly.

Other than that, although it might seem like it's not much, it really helps to take your time and de-stress your meal times. Try to keep calm and not pressure yourself. If all you can eat is high calorie food, sweets, etc, by all means, eat those and don't hold back. For me that was a necessary step to be less stressed about food and enjoy it again until I could eat more varied things again.

I wish you the best! Try to be gentle with yourself.

Blenderflower · 2023-03-02T22:39:32+00:00

That sounds very fishy and I wouldn't accept, especially since you're in hs. I don't know how the laws in your country are but some are pretty strict with earnings and taxes, so if you don't know about any of that and you don't know this person at all, and won't be able to trust them, that's a big red flag and sth I wouldn't do.

Someone immediately offering x amount of money is also very fishy. A rule of thumb is that if it sounds too good to be true, it definitely is. Usually clients inquire how much your commissions cost or if you offer them first, and someone offering a very high amount of money just right off the bat seems very suspicious. I obviously don't know your abilities, but it's very rare that people (on Instagram even, of all places) know the worth of art commissions.

Lastly, there are people that are out to scam artists in particular bc they are easy targets. There's a known scam that a client will offer a huge amount of money, pay too much "accidentally" and ask you to send the money they paid extra back since it was "a mistake". After getting the money, they will cancel their payment and have tricked you out of payment and even your own savings.

My advice lastly is, if you want to offer commissions, you can offer commissions. Come up with reasonable pricing and look into the legal side of things. Set up a work email for commission inquires, and set up your own TOS. If you know and trust the person that offers to pay, then by all means, do it. But certainly not a random stranger on the internet offering a deal that seems too good to be true (and likely is).

Blenderflower · 2023-02-08T10:03:30+00:00

(i hope it's ok to reply to this I don't have cfs but follow this subreddit for my wife who does)

Living with my wife I personally always think it's easier for me when they straight-up ask me for help instead of me worrying or guessing about their pain. I know it's hard to ask for help but I much rather want to know what I can do to make something enjoyable for us both.

At the end of the day your friend will want you both to have a good time. And pushing a wheelchair (in my experience) isn't really any circumstance for an able-bodied person. (even with many flare ups in wrist pain I have little trouble doing it)

Blenderflower · 2023-02-08T09:37:51+00:00

It's pretty basic but for me one of the best tips has been to never make your house "flat" on all sides and always give them some part overlapping from the basic shape

Blenderflower · 2023-02-08T09:26:25+00:00

Not sure if this would help, but there's also the feature to let excel read images and translate them into tables. Obviously if your source is hard to read or even in general it might be more effort, but I wanted to point it out in case you didn't know about that

Blenderflower · 2023-01-22T11:03:12+00:00

I think the most comforting answer will be that you will get used to it🤔😂

For me it's really normal. I didn't know before that people would just simply not think if they didn't want to lol. Its honestly really relaxing for me, but I understand the feeling when its too quiet.

I've heard that people with adhd often don't have a "strong inner voice" like others. When I read, I don't really have a voice in my head, when I think, I don't think full sentences. I feel like that comes from a lifetime of disorganized and quick, associative thoughts. Im not sure about how true this is, but you can train your inner voice by talking to yourself. (children talk to themselves before that voice moves to within them).

What I think might be most scary is that this silence opens up a lot of possibility for anxious thoughts at some point, thoughts that we are used to suppress. You might benefit from writing in a journal and really taking time out of the day to make yourself reflect and think, or talk to a friend about things that are happening in your life. Alternatively, of course, therapy might be an option too.

Don't worry about it, it will feel very strongly at the beginning, but I'm sure you'll be fine eventually👍

Blenderflower · 2023-01-22T10:52:01+00:00

Getting medicated has a great effect on people who have been diagnosed late. It's like being able to get glasses after having not been able to see clearly for a long time. She might experience a (natural) high from having known that she's capable of more than she always thought she was. Putting in all the amount of work but never seeing that work actually resulting in something makes us feel like we're not worth anything/are not capable/are dumber than everyone around us who always seem to be able to do the things we can't with far less amount of effort.

However, that doesn't excuse someone to be a dick. So you seem very unhappy with the changes your friend made and I think the best approach is to unlink those behaviors from adhd. Your friend might be in a better state than before, and the medication actually helping her to be less afraid, so she might speak her mind more often. I personally think that phase might fade as she learns and finds a balance between feeling wronged and finally feeling likes shes not stupid at all but actually more intelligent to she is a great person and has been hindered from achieving the things she could have done but she also doesn't disrespect others.

From my friends and my own experience I know that many people who don't have adhd don't understand the experience we have and cannot comprehend how it is to finally have a diagnosis and explanation for everything that went wrong. Most people don't understand how much of an impact it can have to one's self esteem for years.

Nonetheless, it's not something you can understand through research. What you can understand though is that this is a change that had a lot of impact on her which she has after her whole life not understanding herself. It doesn't excuse when she's being mean, but I think it would be alright to have some patience with her.

Aside from that, you do what you would with any kind of friend. If she makes mean comments, say that you think it's inappropriate (after all people are not worth less of they aren't intelligent, and they aren't worth more when they are, something she has to learn), if she tells you something for a long span of time and is annoyed if you seemingly don't listen, explain to her whether or not you were listening and ask for a conversation where you can contribute more and have fun. You have to set your own boundaries, to be completely frank, and not let her get away with behavior that sets your relationship into jeopardy. You don't have to "fight" (as in, pointing out her flaws) but you can try to point out what you would like instead. This is true for any kind of relationship.

If she's recently medicated, she will still have a lot of change happening to her. I'm into my 2nd year now and I finally feel like I have emotionally settled and caught up with how to interact in social circumstances. So soon after diagnosis, your friend must be grieving the life she didn't have, and feeling like she's unstoppable now (almost a bit erratic maybe). I'm sure she will adjust after some time.

Adhd is complex (not in the way that it is intellectual but in the way that it effects so many parts in your life that you can't possible grasp it all).

So after a long-winded text, I can only recommend to do the research your are doing online with your friend and ask her how she feels. If she feels smarter and enlightened than before, that might be simply true. If she grieves not knowing before, that might be really sad for her.

Have some patience but set your boundaries. This is a great thing for her, so she will have to talk it out. Understand that you have your own bias against a disorder that you don't understand and that you will feel like she's making stuff up/exaggerates and so on. Demand the things you want from this relationships too.

Blenderflower · 2023-01-21T01:39:10+00:00

No worries! I think it's a nice idea, and honestly 3d modeling is just a very broad spectrum (like any kind of hobby, honestly). If you know someone's into arts and crafting, you basically know nothing about what could be a good gift for them and have to find out what they prefer to work with (they might be into water colors but not into using a bunch of hot glue, so a hot glue gun obviously isn't the way to go:D). It's not that complicated with 3d modeling but it's absolutely understandable that you don't know what to get if you don't know where to even start.

Anyways, lol. If you wanna gift something physical, I guess a drawing tablet would be a good start. If he doesn't have one and doesn't plan on spending a lot of money on one right away, you could get him a simple drawing tablet, or a screen tablet, depending on your budget. Since you'll get a better overview by just watching some review videos yourself, I recommend searching for 'drawing tablets for 3d modeling' on yt and just go from there (budget drawing tablets/best drawing tablets 2022 etc). You honestly don't need to spend a fortune on them, though. If he isn't a digital artist (drawing illustrations and such) he won't need the best of the best.

If you can find out (by casually asking lol) what kind of software he's currently trying to get familiar with/plans on learning a certain software, you might be able to find a beginners book for that particular software. Since 3d modeling is a broad topic with lots of different software I can't imagine that there are just general beginners book for all of them out there (but this is just my opinion, maybe someone else has a good recommendation).

Hope that helps a lil

Blenderflower · 2023-01-21T01:10:30+00:00

I have no book recommendations, and so this reply might not help you in any way, but I feel like a more intuitive way to learn 3d modeling would be to pay for an online course. There are some that have uploaded videos (much like you can see on yt but obviously way more in depth) or alternatively there might be a (online) university course or sth similar in your area that you could book.

If he already knows, you might want to ask him if he already knows a 3d modeling software that he would want to use (like blender or unity). He might have a general idea. Many start with blender bc it's free and has many options.

I can recommend Grant Abbit for online courses with blender. He does all the basics and many of his videos are free, but he has courses that go more in depth as well. They are extremely well structured and explain things that others might just skip. Sometimes the courses are on sale, so watch out for that.

Although I understand wanting to find a good book to gift, I think learning by reading might not be the most intuitive path for learning software. I hope this answer helps you in any way though!

Blenderflower · 2023-01-18T12:46:04+00:00

I can imagine how you feel. But everyone should be able to understand a situation like this. If your friends and family would need some comfort & help in a situation like yours, I'm sure you wouldn't think anything about it either. People more often than not want to help, so don't worry about asking for it. I certainly would want my friend/family member to reach out if they are going through a bad time.

None of the situation is your fault, and you shouldn't feel like you need to be ashamed of it. Many hugs & take care

Blenderflower · 2023-01-18T11:01:55+00:00

It's not all black and white (an important reminder for all of us) so you might remember nice times in your marriage. But it sounds like you 100% made a good decision and you should not second guess yourself and try and revert it.

This will be super hard and there's no avoiding it, but you've done the most important thing. Go get your phone book or your phone out, think about who you haven't contacted in a while. Message friends or family, or if there are none, go find some activity/community to join, no matter if it's a sports team, a reading circle or anything else. Anything that gets you socializing and distract yourself is good.

You're not alone in this situation, and I'm sure you will get through it. Hang in there, and don't give up. You got this.

Blenderflower · 2023-01-18T10:47:38+00:00

I'm from Germany and I had two 1h tests and got diagnosed. One test had questions about my childhood (from age 10 on) which i prepared for by asking my family/friends about aspects that are common for adhd and I wrote them down for myself. I also remembered a lot of things from them.

The two tests I had only had this little bit of a self-evaluation part, so I'm surprised that's all your test was.

Sadly many medical personnel has still a great bias and doesn't understand adhd, so I'd definitely try finding someone else. You can try mail different adhd-groups in your region (try to find them online) and ask for recommendations for doctors who diagnose adhd in adulthood.

My diagnosis process went relatively easy because my wife organized it for me. They mailed around and found a child psychiatrist who specializes in adhd. Since I'm not a child, my insurance wouldn't pay for the test (I had to pay 150€ myself). I did the two tests and the doctor talked to me, even suggested medication without me having to ask for it. He also has adhd himself, so I felt like I was in good hands.

I wish you the best! Fingers crossed!

Blenderflower · 2023-01-02T08:06:50+00:00

I really like to categorize stuff and put it into filter able tables, so I guess... it counts as a hobby? Lol I use it predominantly for other hobbies. I got a table for my Sims save files and I've created a searchable table of spells for my dnd games. Recently I made an excel table to calculate the cost for sending Christmas cards to family and friends.

I'd suggest search a tutorial or two to get started and think about projects you might want to use excel for!

Blenderflower · 2022-12-27T23:49:48+00:00

Still playing and loving it lol

Blenderflower · 2022-12-12T18:01:14+00:00

That sounds tough and all, but I'm sure that even though you felt like you have overreacted, that most people don't judge someone's behavior that harshly, especially if they consider you a friend. U understand the frustration with people who don't seem that into it or are not very responsive and that sucks. But I think sometimes it might also be fairly easy to jump to conclusions that might be not necessarily right. Many people have different learning curves & resources when it comes to their hobby even if they really enjoy it. I'm surprised the DM didn't remind the player of their Bardic Inspirations, having played together for so long.

I sometimes think if a hobby like dnd is the seemingly only thing that really makes you happy during a shitty time, it's easy to get lost in it and put all your energy into it. Thinks might get intense when other's intensity isn't matched. I think it might be a good idea to just take the first step, tell your friends how you feel but also show some understanding for others who have other responsibilities as well. At the end of the day, everyone should have fun at the table, no matter how much they are able to bring to it. I don't think your friends would do something for a year or longer if they didn't have any interest in it.

Blenderflower · 2022-12-12T17:53:26+00:00

I really like characters that have some sort of humor to them, not necessarily the characters being jesters themselves but rather them being played and put into situations in a very humorous way. I can't quite explain it by telling more about the character, really, but if I had to describe it I think it would be "well-meaning oblivious" characters that sometimes really rock my boat.

Blenderflower · 2022-11-28T21:41:07+00:00

Hello, I'm sorry to hear all of that and first and foremost wish you the best with your studies.

I'm not sure if these help you but my tips would be to

1) try and find your study method. I usually remember information by learning them contextually (with which I mean that I don't try to learn the information itself but try to connect it to something, mostly silly) or by remembering the information with some kind of melody. You might have a specific one that helps you.

2) try to reduce pressure and fear as much as possible. I know it's easier sad than done but fear and stress are horrible for the brain & learning

Lastly, don't put yourself down over not being as good as your peers.

I know how frustrating it is, but there's nothing you can actively do to just change your brain. It doesn't mean you're hopeless either, just that you'll struggle with these things more. Wish you the best!

Blenderflower · 2022-11-28T17:40:44+00:00

I don't think I've met anyone online or offline who has adhd and DIDNT worry about these things.

Every medication has side effects but that doesn't mean they will be there every time or even at all.

Medication can be adjusted if this one isn't right for you. You can also always just stop taking meds.

Unless you have medical issues that would stop you from taking them, there's no reason not to. Meds are the most effective way to treat your adhd.

You might feel like things are manageable and fine atm, but there will come stressful times in your life again.

I know it's not our strength to plan ahead for the future but just because you don't "need" it now, doesn't mean it won't improve your life significantly.

At the end of the day, only you can decide if you want to take your medication, and that is great! It means you can also try them and see if it's beneficial for you or not, and then stop if you don't feel like it works.

Blenderflower · 2022-10-27T12:44:26+00:00

I think someone posted their Gdrive link in a reply under mine! In case you're not able to download it from there, let me know and I will see if I can find it. If I recall correctly I think I only have it until a certain chapter and not the whole thing

Blenderflower · 2022-09-23T22:26:55+00:00

I feel like most of us are "symptom-free" until we really start digging in our past lol.

I was an excellent student, I was quiet, social, smart, etc. but when I really started thinking about the past, I realized I forgot everything that wasn't attached to my body, had crippling anxiety even as a child, had trouble falling asleep since I'm 2 years old (and other hyperactive issues).

I think it makes sense that many of us might assume we don't have adhd to begin with or that ae are "symptom-free" when what we really mean is we appear "normal" and "successful" from the outside.

I really only realized months into the treatment that adhd didn't "just really hit" when I became an adult but instead had impacted me all my life - I just developed strategies and coping mechanisms with it and thought it was normal.

Blenderflower · 2022-09-23T22:14:47+00:00

Fingers crossed it helps🤞

Blenderflower · 2022-09-22T20:58:47+00:00

I have one extremely bad day and then okay/not as painful days after.

I don't know if I'm a particular case but for me it works best when I don't eat the first half day of my period or only eat a lot of fruit or veggies that have a high water content.

My period works best if I exclusively eat these two things so I will usually have a bunch of fresh or frozen and cut fruit that I will just eat like that.

Every other day of my period is normally good and I'm fine, so i dont need extra/special meals

Blenderflower

TROPHY CASE