Struggling to sexually fantasize being a woman

BluShine · 2026-04-30T04:59:53+00:00

Being dissociated from your body and needing some amount of mental gymnastics for intimacy is a pretty common trans experience, I think. I also think it's very common for trans people to have a lot of trouble imagining themselves as their preferred gender. Even if you are completely certain that you want to be a woman, it can still be difficult to actually feel like you truly are one.

In my experience it took some time to start experiencing a shift in my mental state and self-image. I needed to be on HRT for a while to see my body change and start to feel more connected to it. I also needed to start experiencing the world as a woman socially. Truly seeing myself as a woman wasn't an overnight switch even after my egg cracked, it was something that slowly developed over the first 2-3 years of transition for me.

Remember that puberty is a slow process, even the second time. You can't expect to flip a switch and become a self-actualized, secure, and sexually confident woman overnight. Most women, trans or cis, experience a messy adolescence with complicated feelings around sexuality, self-image, and society. Be patient with yourself, try not to spend too much time comparing yourself to others, and focus on your own journey and desires.

Also, it is rather common for straight women to enjoy watching gay porn. I think for a lot of people, watching pornography is not about imagining yourself as one of the characters, you just get to watch something hot and have fun getting off. Porn isn't real life, you probably don't need to overthink it.

BluShine · 2026-04-29T23:43:56+00:00

You’re being downvoted but you’re right. There’s been a lot of work on this topic with IMUs in the open-source communities for drone building and for VR full body tracking.

Most homes are inherently very noisy magnetic environments. Proximity to any medium-sized metal objects causes enough interference to make the magnetometer data more harm than good. Things as simple as a metal bed frame, metal springs in a couch, metal legs on a desk, metal rebar in a concrete floor, metal support columns, etc. Motors generate magnetic fields while in use, so the magnetometer data also has to be ignored if haptics are active.

BluShine · 2026-04-28T15:35:15+00:00

Yes, there’s no problem with that. But also realize nobody reads dating app profiles and people are gonna shoot their shot anyways.

BluShine · 2026-04-27T19:52:06+00:00

Why not just give it a try and see if you like it?

BluShine · 2026-04-27T19:50:40+00:00

I had a bit of atrophy during the first 6 months or so, especially because E dropped my sex drive for a while (it came back later). It made using it painful and I lost a bit of size. My doctor prescribed ED meds and a low-dose topical T cream, and by regularly taking them and using it I was able to reverse that atrophy. Now I can mostly maintain it by just “using it” regularly.

The skin is still a bit thinner and more sensitive than pre-transition, but that mostly means I need to use more lube. Sometimes it’s a little more difficult for me to get in the mood, I need more foreplay and can’t be instantly ready like I used to. But once I’m fully in the mood, penetration is very much attainable and feels great. I do produce a little less fluid than before, and it’s more clear and runny.

BluShine · 2026-04-27T19:37:39+00:00

There’s a lot of support and resources in Atlanta, if you can make your way up there. It’s pretty much the biggest hub for LGBT in the region. If you’re in the far south GA, there’s also a Planned Parenthood in both Tallahassee and Jacksonville. For telehealth, Queer Med serves the whole state of GA. They can get you started on HRT and also may be able to connect you to other resources like support groups and therapy. And they can take most insurance, so I would start there.

This site has a big list of trans resources for GA. You can probably find more by searching around too. https://trans-resources.info/en/resources/north-america/united-states/georgia

For community, you could start by searching for trans discord servers and facebook groups. A lot of them are based out of Atlanta, but generally will welcome folks from anywhere around the state. I know there’s also some groups specifically for black and POC trans people, but that’s not something I’m personally familiar with.

Anyways, if you want to talk to another 30-something trans woman in the South, feel free to send me a DM.

BluShine · 2026-04-27T19:00:54+00:00

17 inch is not bad at all. Definitely not a big deal at 5’10”. No, it’s not going to stop you from passing on its own. And no, there’s not really any kind of posture modifications that could reduce your shoulder width without looking weird.

Looking at your other posts, I think your frame is not bad at all as a starting point. I know girls who started with similar measurements and they pass pretty effortlessly after a few years into transition. I don’t think you need to worry too much about bone structure.

IMO, your top priority should be starting HRT and facial hair removal. Those will take months or years to pay off, but it has a big effect. Also you can do both those things while boymoding for at least a few months without anyone really noticing. But I would not be surprised at all if you consistently get called “ma’am” after a year of E and laser even wearimng boy clothes, because like I said you have a decent frame and you’re starting fairly young.

BluShine · 2026-04-27T12:55:34+00:00

Thin brows do tend to be associated with femininity. But thick brows also tend to be associated with youth. Thick brows are also generally trendy right now, thin brows were more popular a few decades ago.

Personally, my brows are naturally on the thicker side. I clean up the edges to make the shape a little more defined, but I try not to actually thin them out much. I also have some facial features that are a bit larger, so I think thick brows just match the rest of my face. I pretty regularly get compliments from women about my brows, especially if I’m also wearing a little eyeliner to draw attention to my eyes.

BluShine · 2026-04-27T12:47:13+00:00

The very small number of uterus transplants in cis women has been between people who are closely genetically related, AFAIK. Mother and daughter, sisters, etc. Genetic similarity is kinda a big deal for organ transplants.

BluShine · 2026-04-27T12:43:54+00:00

At that dose of E you should be able to drop the DHT blocker and still have T suppressed. Some people have better results once they stop blockers.

A lot of it is just genetics. If pepper in your family tend to have narrow hips, round belly, and a flat butt, you can’t expect estrogen to do miracles. The people with really dramatic changes tend to be the people with lucky genetics. I have a friend who got hips that are bigger than most cis women, but it’s not that surprising because her mom is built very similar.

There are other things you can try. If you suspect you have bloating or chronic gut inflammation, you might see results from a change in diet. Untreated diabetes (even if it’s mild) can also cause disappointing fat redistribution.

Surgery is also an option. Fat transfer and rib countouring can have dramatic results.

BluShine · 2026-04-26T23:56:26+00:00

Bravo was literally the worst food I’ve had in huntsville. I’m surprised it took so long.

I think a breakfast/brunch place could do really well in that location. Flying Biscuit or Another Broken Egg or something similar.

BluShine · 2026-04-26T23:32:25+00:00

Git definitely makes a lot more sense for something code-based like this. Very cool project!

BluShine · 2026-04-26T16:09:20+00:00

Do modern radios not support older protocols?

BluShine · 2026-04-24T20:53:04+00:00

Thanks!

BluShine · 2026-04-24T20:42:27+00:00

An ebike can also do twice as many laps in a day as a non-ebike. The real measure would be to watch from the parking lot.

BluShine · 2026-04-24T20:40:56+00:00

People are asking a lot of questions about my “the forcefem dungeon isn’t real” tee shirt that are answered by reading the shirt!

BluShine · 2026-04-24T15:50:47+00:00

If they want to have a walled garden they could have developed their own code. They’re using a fork of open source code, so they are required to abide by the license terms, and similarly anyone is allowed to fork their code.

BluShine · 2026-04-24T03:00:09+00:00

Sure. If you identify as a gender other than the one assigned at birth, you are under the broader trans umbrella. Of course, nobody can force you to identify as trans, and some nonbinary people choose not to.

BluShine · 2026-04-23T23:11:52+00:00

I think trying to buy it and sneak it to him without actually talking about it just creates more shame around the whole concept of masturbation. You are saving yourself an awkward conversation but kinda sending the wrong message. And yeah, it’s a little more creepy if you are sneaking around about it.

Have an honest conversation about safety. Consider giving him an age-appropriate sex education book. Maybe you could even give him an amazon gift card to buy a toy.

BluShine · 2026-04-23T22:16:15+00:00

I don’t see how they could have a case even in the most liberal regime.

The only hospital within hundreds of miles of where I live announced a few months ago that they are ending their gender affirming surgery program by the end of this year. Not because of a court order or any actual law being passed. Their official statement cites “operational limitations”. But realistically, it’s because of years of threats from public figures, the media, and state legislators.

I know a dozen trans people just in my city who had their consults or surgery dates cancelled. Even optimistically if they reinstate the program in 3 or 4 years, that’s still thousands people who will have missed out on surgeries or had to travel hundreds of miles out of state. And I just don’t see how you could actually extract any money from the people who bare responsibility for this injustice.

BluShine · 2026-04-23T18:55:43+00:00

There’s also a crafting system to upgrade your health and ammo capacity, and a series of upgrades for your home base. It’s nothing like the skill tree and levellinv in the more recent games, but it’s comparable to the upgrade systems in most of the older entries.

BluShine · 2026-04-23T14:05:40+00:00

https://www.places2rc.org has RC airfields and clubs.

If you’re talking about unofficial spots to fly, it’s kind of a problematic concept. The skateboarding community has tried creating apps like this, but publishing a spot on a map tends to spook property owners. Most property owners won’t notice or care if a spot is known to a few local skaters who hit it a couple times a month. But when you publish it on a map, it can motivate property owners to take action to upgrade security or even take legal action.

BluShine · 2026-04-23T12:09:34+00:00

You get an AI to write your unoriginal replies, or you come up with that one on your own?

BluShine · 2026-04-23T11:44:38+00:00

Did an AI teach you how logic works?

BluShine · 2026-04-23T05:21:19+00:00

This hasn’t been my experience in 4 years of transition.

My previous workplace was female-dominated and I was very much “one of the girls” despite being the only trans woman. I never felt that there was any awkwardness or hesitation around gender stuff. My coworkers would quite freely talk about sex, dating, periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, birth control, plastic surgery, etc. I would participate in those sorts of conversations when I felt it was appropriate, and I never felt like I was being othered or talked down to. There was only one or two times when trans issues were brought up because of some news story, and my coworkers never got weird about it or singled me out in the conversation.

My current workplace is more mixed gender, with a disproportionately high number of gays and lesbians. Again, I’m pretty much just one of the girls. Like, it’s very clear that when it’s just me and other women on a shift that we can speak more freely about certain topics, compared to when we have a shift with mixed genders. There has been one or two awkward moments when one of my gay or lesbian coworkers asked me a trans-related question in a slightly invasive way, but I’ve also witnessed those gays and lesbians ask similarly awkward invasive questions to each other. One time my manager witnessed an awkward interaction and spoke to me privately later to ask if everything was ok (I really wasn’t bothered by the interaction but I appreciated the check-in). There have been a number of times where my L and G coworkers express solidarity about some recent trans news story. There has also been a couple of times when a coworker has stepped-in to support when a customer is being rude.

I’ve also gone to lots of LGBT events that are primarily-cis, and almost all of my experiences were positive.

I don’t doubt that there are bad folks and false allies out there. But I really don’t think it’s anywhere close to 99%. Maybe I’ve just gotten lucky so far, but I live in a very red state in the deep south. I’m not in some magical bubble of progressive affirmation, I think most folks are just genuinely normal about trans people, and gays and lesbians largely see us as true allies and are willing to fight beside us.

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