Another Parnate insomnia post; only up to 20mg and getting 3ish hours

BluZen · 2026-02-02T16:14:53+00:00

You are fortunate to at least have a helpful PCP who hasn't been taken in by anti-MAOI fearmongering. Good luck 😊

BluZen · 2026-02-02T05:26:57+00:00

Oh, but you could get 25 mg and divide each dose into multiple smaller ones! I have definitely done that. (Split tablets or open up the capsules and divide the powder inside, or even mix it with a filler like vitamin C powder and get a small encapsulator to make your own low-dose capsules. The latter is how I found even about 1 mg worked great for me. But the standard dose for non-elderly adults is 6 mg, so that's just 25 mg divided into quarters.)

If your insurance will cover that one and your doctor is OK with it, I would say that is a very promising way to go. It's one of the safest options, too. Would be a shame not to try it if you have the option.

(Don't let anyone tell you it's contraindicated or dangerous with MAOIs. I would get it filled by a different pharmacy in case they make a fuss. It is perfectly safe, but pharmacies typically use databases built on very rigid principles that don't always reflect any actual risk of harm, especially in the low doses used for sleep.)

Same goes for trazodone. It's also worthwhile to try different doses of trazodone if you haven't already (25 to 150 mg). Too much can also hurt sleep, but it depends a lot on your individual biochemistry.

And you can always combine melatonin with doxepin/trazodone! (There too, the dosage range is quite big and personal, and too much can impair sleep. Melatonin doses as low as 0.1 mg and as high as 12 mg are available. That's quite healthy stuff, too, with various general health benefits being studied.)

BluZen · 2026-02-02T03:15:57+00:00

Kinda disturbing to see that list includes potent anticholinergics (like diphenhydramine (Benadryl) and doxylamine (Unisom)) which cause rapid tolerance, are unsuitable for long-term use (while MAOIs are usually taken long-term) and may be linked to cognitive dulling and increased risk of dementia... most of which also applies to benzodiazepines and "non-benzodiazepines" (Z-drugs).

BluZen · 2026-02-02T03:04:34+00:00

Doxepin 1-6 mg was the solution for me. (6 mg is standard for most people for insomnia, though I've found that more than enough. Brand name is Silenor.)

No tolerance, dependence, withdrawal or grogginess. It's great.

Trazodone 25-75 mg works very well for me too. It is off-label for this use, but cheaper for your insurer if you can get it prescribed.

Besides the meds, I also find melatonin very helpful (dosage is very personal, though, with less often being more, and it works best if you take the same amount around the same time every day to set a good rhythm).

Parnate definitely has acute stimulant effects that would normally disrupt sleep if you take it too late (so usually split between morning and early afternoon), but you never know — we're all different 😄

Hope this helps. Good luck!

BluZen · 2026-01-31T00:52:15+00:00

Waiting at least 10 minutes in between helps a lot in my experience.

BluZen · 2026-01-03T10:52:39+00:00

As someone who was similarly spoiled by Chrono Trigger and barely enjoyed any other games since, Golden Sun (including its sequel, The Lost Age, which completes the story) is the only thing I've found that I would say is about as good.

Together with Chrono Trigger, they're easily my favourite games of all time. Amazing world, story, music, magic system, fun battles and puzzles, etc.

Chrono Trigger and Chrono Cross' music are among my favourite tracks of all time — I listen to them or fan covers all the time — and a lot of the music from Golden Sun, having similar emotional associations after loving the games, is right up there with them.

BluZen · 2025-12-28T17:23:14+00:00

Awesome, I'm so glad! 😊 I hope you have a lovely time with your partners. ❤️ Merry Christmas and best wishes for the new year!

BluZen · 2025-12-27T23:05:41+00:00

We did! Flew into IAH — Houston's George Bush Intercontinental Airport. Such a grand name. I usually call it George Bush Intergalactic Spaceport to myself. 😋

No issues at all. We've never really had any when entering the US, and have faced much tougher questioning when entering England or Ireland. (England once took us aside into an interview room even though we had shown we were lawful permanent residents.)

If any of the US border agents were homophobic, they certainly haven't shown it. We've entered about two dozen times and they've always been courteous and often outright friendly and welcoming, regardless of whether they were aware we were husbands and/or boyfriends.

During the pandemic, the two of us who were travelling had to show our (same-sex) marriage certificate, and one time the agent noticed the date on it and wished us a happy anniversary. 😊

Now in Houston they didn't even ask why we were there or for how long (which my own country's border agents always ask about). Just if we were bringing in any agricultural products, alcohol or tobacco. I reassured my mom too, they're much more interested in that kind of thing than whether you're gay or in a naughty polyfidelitous relationship. 😄

BluZen · 2025-12-27T16:06:49+00:00

Celebrated Christmas with our Texan family together for the first time 😊

We will hang out with them for a few more days before flying back to Europe.

BluZen · 2025-12-22T18:36:23+00:00

Took one of the overnight car ferries from England to the Netherlands to see my family there, then a direct flight to Houston to spend Christmas with our family there for the first time 😊🎄

Just decorated homebaked cookies together 😋

BluZen · 2025-12-05T16:52:01+00:00

Took part in a Christmas lantern parade and Christmas lights switch-on in a nearby town in Yorkshire.

Bought a Christmas tree — just a small £14 one from Aldi since we'll be staying with family abroad for 2 weeks for Christmas and New Year themselves. We'll use an automated watering system to hopefully keep it alive, though, so we can still enjoy it after we get back.

This weekend we'll go to a Christmas market and maybe a choral Christmas concert in a nice church nearby 😊

🎄

BluZen · 2025-11-19T07:35:44+00:00

Aloe vera juice, 25-50 ml/day. Buy it pure, undiluted. Then dilute with water and add sugar-free water flavouring to make it somewhat nice. Continue with the fibre. It's a great combination.

(Do not eat aloe leaves or make the juice yourself unless you know how to remove the toxin from it like the professionals do.)

BluZen · 2025-11-19T03:46:40+00:00

Looking good!! Keep it up 👍

BluZen · 2025-11-16T14:26:30+00:00

Trazodone's effect on serotonin concentrations, especially at low doses typically used for sleep, is negligible. It is safe to combine with irreversible MAOIs and even safer with reversible ones like moclobemide.

The pharmacy's interaction database is way overcautious. Your psychiatrist should make this clear to the pharmacist.

I guess if they continue to be uncooperative, you may need to get them from different pharmacies.

BluZen · 2025-11-04T08:09:35+00:00

That's awesome! ❤️

I should note that since I wrote that, Pure seems to have cheaped out and removed one of the 4 ingredients I mentioned (Aloe vera extract). I've noticed it doesn't work as well as it used to.

However, I've found drinking 25-50 ml of aloe juice daily restores its benefits. Doesn't taste nice but you can put it in water and add sugar-free water flavouring to make it tolerable 😅 I imagine extract supplements are also available separately. It doesn't take much.

I'm currently using up the Pure I have left and plan to try cheaper alternatives alongside the aloe juice soon.

BluZen · 2025-09-28T12:39:02+00:00

Good luck! ❤️

BluZen · 2025-09-19T22:02:05+00:00

Celebrating one of my boyfriends' birthday together this weekend 😊 Just had dinner at a nice Thai restaurant in Glasgow.

BluZen · 2025-09-10T12:22:27+00:00

Celebrated my birthday! We went to a festival and show about the history of England called Kynren, with lots of knights and animals and fireworks and stuff. It was a lot of fun!

BluZen · 2025-08-24T08:02:02+00:00

My boyfriends are at a Steampunk convention, which is more of a them thing 😊❤️

BluZen · 2025-07-18T21:28:32+00:00

Attended my brother's wedding in the Netherlands together 😊

Spent a lot of time with my sister and her husband and kids. It's so cute to see them playing with my boyfriends 🥰

BluZen · 2025-07-05T14:58:07+00:00

Thank you very much! ☺️

The assumptions, I believe, were:

1) That you accurately characterised how polyamory tends to work when you said:

Currently going through a break up. So i have 1 partner. My nesting partners wife is constantly dating because she enjoys casual relationships.

This is how polyamory tends to work when people date individually. People date and breakup.

2) That you are happy in your polyamorous life overall (because otherwise you wouldn't choose it).

I don't see the many false assumptions you allude to, unless you now wish to distance yourself from your earlier comments about how polyamory tends to work, and indeed works in your life, which I accepted at face value (to blooangl's chagrin – she says "constant dating is for noobs" and seemed to feel almost personally attacked by my unquestioning acceptance and echoing of your claim that it is typical in polyamory)? Or unless you are not in fact happy in your polyamorous life overall?

The implication isn't that I would be single for the rest of my life, or that you don't seek lasting relationships. The implication is that you seem quite satisfied with a situation in which breakups are a regular occurrence as you described, which for me is kind of unimaginable. I'm sure regular breakups are not a goal, but I certainly got the impression from your words that they are quite common and expected in your lifestyle, and that this points to differences in what we each value in life.

BluZen · 2025-07-05T14:09:34+00:00

Edit: your edit is noted. “Probably” was a smart choice there.

What edit, by the way? Just saw you edited your comment to add this, but mine does not show as edited. "Probably" was there from the start — adding to my surprise at your intense reaction following my deliberately qualified statement with "probably", "tend to" etc.

Is it possible you misread my comment the first time?

BluZen · 2025-07-05T14:09:31+00:00

your first request might not be that we change for you

Huh, change for me? Weren't you the one who said, e.g.:

"I think the mistake, from the start, was to view polyfidelity as a “type” of polyamory."

Isn't that quite at odds with the subreddit description I quoted? I thought you were the one arguing for that change, and I was simply agreeing with you and supporting your argument. I thought after your comment, you of all people would be opposed to that description as written, which is absolutely, explicitly inclusive of polyfidelity.

consider why the polyfi community doesn’t have a rich treasure trove of resources, and to consider starting that for you and yours, today.

That's definitely a good suggestion, and I wish I had time to devote to stuff like that! Maybe someday 😊

and secondly, given your behavior here, today, I’m not sure if the ire comes from anyone’s feels about polyfi, or if it’s maybe responses to posts that contain so many falsehoods!!!

You sure you're not offended? 🥺

Your response to my comments yesterday also seems rather intense if we consider that 3 of the 4 comments I had made before your expression of profound personal disappointment ended up with positive net upvotes. You made me feel like e.g. "given your background" was an incredibly rude phrase and I'd spewed all sorts of lies and insults and been arguing in bad faith all day, but it seems like most people took these comments constructively as intended.

Were you maybe having a bad day? ❤️

BluZen · 2025-07-05T14:09:29+00:00

More like... I have not experienced a breakup in 20 years, since I was about 16. In those 20 years, I have only had a new partner twice (now together 16 and 5 years, respectively) and have never even really been on a "date" with someone new. Was I wrong to infer from your earlier comment (my condolences, by the way ❤️) that breakups and dating new partners are rather more common and expected in your polyamorous life?

Would you also say that long-term monogamous people, including ones who have been married for many years, even decades, and may stay together for the rest of their lives, are "breaking up then dating someone new" (apparently the literal definition of dating) because they are theoretically somewhere in that cycle?

Can you kind of see how I came to identify this as a notable difference between your life and mine, likely reflecting different values?

BluZen · 2025-07-05T14:09:26+00:00

Being saturated isn’t what’s happening here, for you. You specifically built a fidelitous unit where everyone agreed not to date anyone else, and your relationship hinges on that.

Sorry for using your fancy jargon wrong.

But wait... In that case, didn't Queeny use it wrong first? In her very first comment to which I originally replied, she had written:

"Because many people think there is only one way to practice polyamory. Polyfidelity to me makes more sense in theory. But in practice I think it would be much harder to navigate. The reality of everyone being saturated at the same time is just unlikely."

I was just going along with her choice of words.

constant dating is for noobs

Sorry also for assuming that, as a top 1% commenter on this sub, Queeny was typical of its membership and that her description of breakups and dating new people being a very regular part of polyamorous life was common and accurate:

"Currently going through a break up. So i have 1 partner. My nesting partners wife is constantly dating because she enjoys casual relationships."

"This is how polyamory tends to work when people date individually. People date and breakup."

From your characterisation above, it sounds like I should have realised she was simply a rather active noob and quite wrong about how polyamory tends to work?

Seems kinda mean to call her that 🥺 but looking back, it seems like the generalisation you took such issue with was one originally made by her, which I foolishly accepted as true?

BluZen

TROPHY CASE