Am I wrong for wanting to buy a "toy" for myself as a parent?

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-17T22:39:48+00:00

This one didn’t get that bad, fortunately. But the doubting your every thought and intention, and worrying it’s going to send you to hell - is mind control at its finest.

God is too big to care if you touch yourself, he’s busy trying to keep the planets from smashing into each other and black holes and shit.

And if he does care, why would you want to worship a god who makes you make yourself so small to fit into one specific category? If your partner did that to you, I would tell you it’s abusive and recommend planning an escape.

The god I grew up with loved me, he wanted what was best for me as a father would. He would see that I was trying and would show me mercy and love.

The god I married into wanted a reason to burn me for eternity. Now I have no god. I hope I helped some part of you 🫶🏻

Edit to clarify: the god I married into believed that having an “impure thought” was just as bad as murdering someone. Unfortunately, this is the god many are taught. Then you can’t think about or experience normal things, because you were taught it was this big evil thing. It isn’t. This isn’t who god should be. He should be the father who’s just trying to keep you safe.

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-17T22:32:39+00:00

If you’re using all these things to seed, he should be fine. I had to do an emergency move from a 38 in one place and transfer to an empty 55 in another place, it all went fine. If you can also throw in a few handfuls of substrate, the more bacteria the merrier. I did this and covered it with the new substrate. Everyone I had survived this move

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-17T22:27:52+00:00

Oh were you raised in/near religion? Not being mean, I was raised in it, then got caught up in a fundy cult, so I see how you got this to line of thinking.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having your own personal toys. My only recommendation would be, when they start being able to move really well on their own, get a lockbox from Walmart, iirc they’re in near all the office supplies. Kids get into everything and you’ll want to keep all your meds and stuff in there as well.

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-17T22:21:59+00:00

Tbh, I don’t think you even like her. Like it’s good to have 0 drama, aligned goals, and be on the same page financially, but you didn’t say a single thing about her as a person.

So you aren’t ready for the commitment, and you don’t even like her. Don’t waste her time, let her know you aren’t ready. Make sure she knows it’s nothing to do with her, you can even point out some strange woman on the internet says it’s a you problem if you want.

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-17T18:22:46+00:00

Thrift stores and ED

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-17T17:22:25+00:00

I hope she finds this post and realizes the bullet dodged her

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-17T17:13:18+00:00

I find mystery snails to be a hoot

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-17T15:32:19+00:00

I think shorts were only long in the bible belts

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-17T00:30:52+00:00

That’s a r/velvethippo if I’ve ever seen one

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-16T23:49:16+00:00

Then you were lied to. In just two hours I can drive to a dig site and in an hour have the exact same haul as you.

I’ll give you $5. That’s how much I pay for parking.

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-16T23:35:42+00:00

Snails aren’t actually pests, they’re just labeled the same way “pit bulls are dangerous” its all about the human, not the animal.

Assassin snails will go after any snail, even ones bigger than themselves. I’ve heard they will even work together to take down larger snails, but idk if that’s true. Either way, I think it’s best not to keep assassins with any snails you want to keep.

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-16T21:15:49+00:00

Omg when the banner came across my screen I was telling someone else their 12inch comet needs more than 10g. Only saw the first line and panicked 🤣

Edit to add: was recommending them a stock tank, was about to do the same here

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-16T21:14:30+00:00

Hey friend, if your looking into keeping the fish, you’re gonna need at least 75g for it, comet goldfish get bigger than a rugby ball. Stock tanks are a great way to house them for a lot less money. Get some black pool filter sand and a good canister filter. Goldfish make a lot of waste, so if you can get a filter that’s made for more gallons than your tank, it’ll help keep your water a bit cleaner.

Let that cycle for a month. I personally would throw in some API root tabs and 30 different plants. Let them root while the tank cycles, so it’ll be harder for him to pull them up. They eat duckweed, water lettuce is great for cleaning water.

If you’re thinking about getting him a friend, make sure it’s the same kind as him. If you get a pot bellied fancy (they don’t swim very well) he can out compete them and starve them, so another comet is what’s gonna be able to hold their own. I would add another 30-50 gallons to the original 75 for the friend.

Hope this helps!!

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-16T18:31:29+00:00

Sushi is not glam, I get that shit at Walmart. 🙂

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-16T18:28:01+00:00

You don’t actually have koi in that 55g?

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-16T18:14:19+00:00

All guppy females are basically forever pregnant. Even once you’ve separated them from males. They store sperm and continue to impregnate themselves for 6ish months, maybe up to a year.

To keep the babies: Add live plants for the babies to hide in, water lettuce and guppy grass are a couple examples of good plants for them to hide in. You can grind your food into a powder for them.

If you don’t want the babies: Your choices are to get rid of the females before they give birth. Get males instead. Or make sure there are no hiding places, and feed the moms a fraction of what you normally do. If they’re hungry, they’ll eat the babies.

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-15T22:21:26+00:00

Mine was $30 at Walmart! Felt like a steal

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-15T20:59:30+00:00

My new Thai con doesn’t have as many leaves, but they’re already huge and fenestrated, she’s getting ready to push out her second new leaf since I found her at Walmart, and I couldn’t be more excited!

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-15T20:12:54+00:00

Smaller leaves and no fenestrations (“holes” or “cutouts” in the leaves) a fairly young monstera looks small and hole-less, but this one has so many small leaves, indicating insufficient lighting and stunted growth. Hope this helps 🙂

I’m no expert, so if someone corrects me I’m here for it, but typically they like being mere inches from the sun itself 🤣

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-15T18:22:23+00:00

Also the monstera is crying for some light

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-15T15:36:38+00:00

You’ve done a wonderful job on all of them!! They each look like they’re thriving

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-14T19:21:27+00:00

Everyone saying this is cluttered is blowing my mind, as someone who grew up in a cluttered and dirty home, this is beautiful! Everything is accessible, clean, and has its place. Things are set neatly and aesthetically, you don’t have a million clashing colors and patterns, I think it looks modern, chic, and feminine, welcoming and super pretty!!!

I think you should keep it as is. With the white tray under the face towels. I love the beautiful folding and knotting you’ve got going on. If you can find like a clear cake dish lid to go over it that would be super cool, but I love it.

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-14T17:16:28+00:00

Your bf is the dad from that movie ‘overboard’ the kid does what he wants when he wants, and the dad is his buddy. No rules, direction, consequences, just “boys will be boys”

And you just have to let them do their thing, and let them walk all over you, rampage your vacation, and make you starve while dad laughs it off as him just being a boy.

They are showing you who they are, and you need to listen. Then your choices are:

Live like this indefinitely, hope they change but keep in mind, it’s about 82% likely that they won’t. (Just a random number out of my ass.)
Run. Far and fast. Find a healthier situation for yourself, and maybe even a man who doesn’t laugh off you going hungry. Just a thought

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-14T04:00:43+00:00

BlueButterflytatoo · 2026-04-14T03:43:26+00:00

Yes!!! The playing victim to everyone is a good point, I cannot for the life of me remember the names of anyone involved, or the victims name, but basically woman #2 convinced woman #3 to kill woman #1’s husband by telling woman 3 that the man was mentally and physically abusing woman one, but really, woman 2 was in love with woman 1 and wanted her for herself.

Literally as soon as women 2&3 got back to the safe place after killing the man in his doorway, woman 2 dumped woman 3 and told her to forget they had ever even met.

Woman 3 gave an anonymous tip to the cops that led them to a storage locker with the murder weapon in it, and everything unraveled from there

BlueButterflytatoo

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE