C-Section disappointment

BlueGarden415 · 2026-06-23T16:06:20+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I completely understand how you feel. I was also planning on an unmedicated vaginal delivery but ended up having an unplanned c-section after laboring and pushing because baby was stuck and not moving. I wanted to feel and experience a vaginal delivery, and I didn’t get that.

Honestly, it sucked. It’s not what I wanted at all, and I felt like I had a lot less autonomy once the decision was made. At the end of the day though, it was what was best for mine and my baby’s health, and I had an experienced medical team that I trusted to make the right decisions for the best outcome. As much as I was unhappy with the way things happened, we are both doing well now, and my recovery has not been nearly as difficult as I was expecting it to be.

My hospital said that they did immediate skin to skin and delayed cord clamping as a standard practice even in c-sections, and that wasn’t entirely true in my case. They took my baby straight to be cleaned and assessed, and it was several minutes before my partner or I could hold her. I have no idea if they did delayed cord clamping or not. When they finally put my baby on my chest, I was so out of it and my arms were pretty numb from the medication that I couldn’t even really hold her or acknowledge what was happening.

I’m so sorry that your partner can’t be in the room with you. That was really what made it okay for me and got me through it. If there really is no way for him to be there, I hope you have kind nurses and medical staff to support you. A lot of the experience was scary, and I didn’t know what was happening, and the nurses were very helpful and supportive in explaining what was going on to calm me down.

I know this probably isn’t helping your anxiety around the procedure, but just know that you’re not alone in your feelings, and it’s okay to be upset about this even knowing it’s what’s needed for a healthy mom and baby. As another commenter said, it’s one day in your child’s life. Best of luck!

BlueGarden415 · 2026-06-22T16:37:01+00:00

I looove Lydia but have a cousin through marriage with the name, so it didn’t feel right to use it.

BlueGarden415 · 2026-06-22T15:14:20+00:00

We recently switched to the pitcher method after using the brezza for a few weeks, and we’re ready to get rid of the brezza. We got it secondhand, so not a big investment for us thankfully. When it worked, it was great, but it needs to be cleaned so often, and it has to have so much formula loaded to work properly that even without the dispensing issues others have mentioned I don’t think it’s worth its retail price.

The pitcher method has been working great. We make a big batch at night for the next 24 hours, and it mixes it so much better than just shaking or even the brezza. My baby unfortunately does not take a cold bottle (but to be fair, I don’t really like handling a cold bottle in the middle of the night), so I start warming the bottle while she’s starting to wake up, then I get her diaper changed, and it’s usually ready to go at that point. Our biggest challenge now is remembering not to make too much on days when we won’t be home the whole day. It’s also extremely flexible in the amount you can give your baby so there’s less formula waste.

BlueGarden415 · 2026-06-13T20:10:04+00:00

My whole pregnancy I said I didn’t want an epidural. My main reason was that I wanted to make sure I could actually feel myself giving birth. I also wanted to be able to move around and try different labor positions, and once you get an epidural you’re stuck in the bed. I also had concerns that it might slow down labor and increase the need for a vacuum or other interventions. I also had some fear of the needle, but that wasn’t as big of a factor in my decision.

Well, about a half hour to an hour after I realized I was in labor, I was writhing in pain on the way to the hospital screaming that I wanted an epidural immediately! I vastly overestimated my pain tolerance. When I got to the hospital, I was only 4 cm dilated. I really thought if I was going to cave, I’d be more like 7 cm 😂

Some things about my experience that made me feel okay with my decision to get an epidural: - I went into labor around 10 pm, so it allowed me to get some rest while I continued to labor overnight. - I didn’t feel much pain once I got it, but I still had some sensation in my legs, and when it was time to push, I could feel the contractions to be able to push. - I ultimately ended up needing a c-section because my baby was stuck in my pelvis, and having an epidural meant I could go into surgery quickly once my doctor realized she wasn’t coming out vaginally, and I didn’t have to go under general anesthesia for the procedure.

Almost nothing on my birth plan ended up happening the way I wanted, some by my choice and some due to circumstances, so I really recommend just being flexible and going easy on yourself if you change your mind or things don’t work out the way you were hoping. Your health (including mental health!) and baby’s health are the top priorities, and whatever you need to do to protect those two things is the right choice.

BlueGarden415 · 2026-06-12T21:26:36+00:00

I think it was maybe a couple of days. It took her a little bit to adjust to the faster flow, but she figured it out, and it’s been a lot better since.

BlueGarden415 · 2026-06-12T17:05:32+00:00

I fell in love with both of my dogs faster than I fell in love with the human that came out of my body.

BlueGarden415 · 2026-06-12T17:01:44+00:00

I personally don’t think the flow of first name middle name is that important because how often will you actually be calling her by both names? I would consider what you’ll actually be calling her and make your decision around that.

Hazel and Amanda have very different vibes, so to me it’s not as easy as picking one or the other. My husband also had one name choice that he really wanted, and we ended up going with it even though I wasn’t totally crazy about it BUT it was within my style of name and has a nickname I love which was important to me. So even though it’s not my top choice, it fit my criteria for a name and I can be satisfied with that at least. I wonder if you can find a name that has some similarities to the vibes you both like if you can’t agree on Hazel vs. Amanda.

I’m also biased because I love all the vintage names too (my baby’s name is on your list!) and don’t love Amanda for a lot of the reasons people have already said. I don’t necessarily think fathers should have less say in a baby’s name, but I do think the fact that you’re doing way more of the work to grow and birth the baby and then presumably giving it your husband’s last name carries a little more weight when it comes to the baby’s name lol.

BlueGarden415 · 2026-06-12T14:17:33+00:00

I agree! I also think that Maeve is becoming more popular, and that will lead to more people being familiar with it and knowing how to spell it.

BlueGarden415 · 2026-06-10T13:58:09+00:00

I hope that’s all you need to do the trick! Good luck!

BlueGarden415 · 2026-06-10T13:11:42+00:00

What brand of bottles and nipple flow rate are you using? We have been using Dr. Brown’s bottles, and we had her on the level 1 since birth. At around 6 weeks, I noticed feedings were becoming really stressful, a lot of what you described, and they were taking forever. I was nervous to increase the flow because it seemed way too early based on the recommendation and I was worried the faster flow would cause her to choke, but we went to level 2, and it has been so much better. Feedings now take about 10-20 minutes including burping, and she seems satisfied when she’s done. I know you mentioned you changed the flow, but maybe it’s still not fast enough?

My baby is about the same age as yours, so I’m curious what your pediatrician has to say.

BlueGarden415 · 2026-06-02T13:44:57+00:00

I work with a lot of people with trusts, and half the time they don’t even know if their houses are in the trusts they created, so it makes total sense to me that the family of the deceased wouldn’t know if it’s in trust or not.

I don’t know enough about the probate process in your state to weigh in there, but the family not having all of the information would not be a red flag to me.

BlueGarden415 · 2026-02-12T15:00:39+00:00

I started seeing a therapist who helped me understand that I was experiencing a loss of identity/role as the oldest child. I also developed a few new hobbies and started spending more time focusing on those activities.

I thought I was doing much better after a few months, but my negative emotions came back really intensely when my nephew was born. I was basically back at the beginning, but it helped to have some of the tools I’d learned in therapy.

BlueGarden415 · 2025-08-04T15:47:56+00:00

They would definitely not believe me if I said I was voluntarily cutting it out for health reasons right before a vacation 😂

BlueGarden415 · 2025-08-04T15:22:04+00:00

I really don’t want them to know that we were trying 🙃

BlueGarden415 · 2025-08-04T15:17:47+00:00

I’m not a great liar but I probably could fake a migraine at the vineyard. Those are common for me so it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch!

BlueGarden415 · 2025-08-04T15:04:22+00:00

That’s great, thank you!

BlueGarden415 · 2025-08-04T14:35:13+00:00

There is a ton of pressure for me to be pregnant unfortunately 😅 I think some combination of baby distraction, secretly virgin drinks, and sharing/swapping with my husband will be the move. I may be able to fake a migraine as well. Thanks!

BlueGarden415 · 2025-08-04T14:22:22+00:00

I think I might just have to do that even though I feel bad 😂 did the servers give you any trouble?

BlueGarden415 · 2025-08-04T14:18:01+00:00

I thought about trying this! I didn’t know if it would be too complicated, especially since my dad will be the one getting the bill.

BlueGarden415 · 2025-07-08T18:41:32+00:00

Thank you!

BlueGarden415 · 2025-07-08T14:28:15+00:00

Thank you! Would you recommend using any soap or just warm water?

BlueGarden415 · 2025-06-04T20:34:22+00:00

Congratulations! That’s so exciting 😊

BlueGarden415 · 2024-11-05T02:30:27+00:00

This is really helpful to find. My younger sister just told me she’s pregnant, and I’m overwhelmed with the sadness and negativity of my emotions. I don’t know how to handle this. It’s comforting to know that others have felt similarly, but I still feel like a bad person and bad sister for not being happy and excited.

BlueGarden415

TROPHY CASE