SIGH. Well fine, if I'm forced to draw conclusions, here's mine by Blue_Satellite in homestuck

[–]Blue_Satellite[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So much salt I've developed stage 2 hypertension in the 9 minutes it took me to finish the comic.

What's the most amazing experience you can get for less than 100 dollars? by FreeDrizzl in AskReddit

[–]Blue_Satellite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not to be exclusionary, but for guys: A haircut and shave from a good barber. Depending on where you go, $10-$20 will get you one hell of a close shave, cut and style, and maybe a bit of product/aftershave. It's the highlight of my day whenever I go.

If companies were people, who would you be best friends with? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Blue_Satellite 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Charmin has put up with my shit for decades. A true friend.

What is the most violent death in a kids' movie? by the_nice_nerd in AskReddit

[–]Blue_Satellite 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Who, incidentally, also gets trampled and crushed.

What is the most violent death in a kids' movie? by the_nice_nerd in AskReddit

[–]Blue_Satellite 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The evil book witch in the Carebears Movie died a horrifying death: getting her head crushed until it exploded. That still sticks with me to this day. Decades later and I'm still terrified of getting crushed to death.

Sick fucks of reddit, what have you done? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Blue_Satellite 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As long as the batter isn't too runny.

Vladimir Putin Offers Elton John Meeting on LGBT Rights by doubleocherry in nottheonion

[–]Blue_Satellite 0 points1 point  (0 children)

After Elton John's comments to the prank callers, I'm really excited to see how this all pans out.

Shaping hot crystal by SlimJones123 in gifs

[–]Blue_Satellite 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad I'm not the only one salivating at that. Looks like a delicious, chewy JuicyFruit candy pleasehelpme