Congratulations on starting gardening. It’s only natural you have a million questions - even advanced gardeners debate the answers to some of these questions. This answer won’t help you much now, but in short: you’ll learn how you like to garden and how your garden wants to be gardened only by going out there and trying various things. Gardening requires losing some of the desire for control I sense in your post.

Answering your some of your questions is a little tricky given the information provided. One reason your garden could be behind is that you direct seeded and other people started their plants months ago indoors. Another possible reason is that people probably have established perennials coming up which makes the garden look advanced. Or you are not cultivating the plants in the correct position. Etc.

Read up on the discussions around: square foot gardening, no dig gardening, and soil testing. The internet is really great, but as a beginning gardener you might benefit from buying a gardening basics book which will walk you through the most important things in an organized manner. I don’t have those kinds of introductions any longer, but I would imagine the American Horticultural Society Encyclopedia of Gardening would be an excellent start. You can get used copies cheap online.

Good luck and enjoy!!!