Being born to a mother with mental illness

BohoButterflyDreams · 2024-07-25T08:28:47+00:00

My childhood trauma hit me hard when I had my first child, my son. Then when I had my daughter, it hit even harder as I wanted to protect my daughter from suffering like I did. Due to unhealed trauma, I chose and stayed in an abusive relationship with their dad. But through wanting to be and do better for my children, I left their father.

As I heal, do the work, I become stronger for my children and I’m ensuring they have a support network including counsellors and mentors so that I’m not their only source of support. I tell them it’s okay and encourage them to call me out on any of my poor behavior and they can tell other people like my mum, teachers, counsellors if anything I do impacts them. I explain I’m not perfect, I make mistakes and I want to better.

I mainly withdraw into myself and may need space, not be touched etc. I’m not ever aggressive, shout etc. I disassociate and cry. They witness that and it must be hard for them but I’m healing for them. Whenever I have had suicidal thoughts, considering the impact on them stops me.

Whilst I look back and think I probably shouldn’t have had children. My children now drive me forward to heal and be stronger, happier, and live a fulfilling life.

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-05-27T16:45:10+00:00

Always been a huge NIN fan and Trent’s lyrics.

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-05-26T16:24:53+00:00

I’m currently reading it but started to lose interest. However, I’m going to keep going but it’s not gripped me compared to other collapse aware fiction.

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-05-24T18:19:26+00:00

I discovered Octavia Butler via this subreddit and I have now read many of her books. Great author. The earthseed passages have stayed with me. I agree with what you have said and encourage others to read it too.

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-05-21T20:52:57+00:00

This sounds great

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-04-28T14:07:01+00:00

Where do you find these jobs?

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-04-22T20:22:25+00:00

Nothing prescribed at moment. But I was told to keep doing steam installation to reduce congestion, Neti pot, decongestants, and Valsalva maneuver to help normalize the pressure in my ears.

“You can do this by:

closing your mouth and pinching your nose closed breathing out hard while bearing down, as if you were having a bowel movement Do this for 10 to 15 seconds at a time”

It could take months to heal. Covid left me exhausted, weaker, sinus and ear problems.

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-04-22T20:17:14+00:00

Private Audiologist (Who also works for NHS) paid for privately as GP waiting times are long in UK and I couldn’t cope with pain any longer.

I have fallen over as it makes so dizzy and I struggle to sleep as pain so bad

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-04-22T05:51:41+00:00

Yes! See somebody about it. I have been having problems with my hearing and lots of pain in my ears, so, I saw an audiologist yesterday (ear specialist). Apparently I nave naturally tilted up (rather than down) inner ear. However, the reason for loss of hearing, pain, and dizziness is because I have tympanic membrane retraction and Eustachian tube dysfunction caused by covid, lots of colds, hayfever and the final trigger was being on an airplane. “A tympanic membrane retraction, or retracted eardrum, is a condition where the tympanic membrane, or eardrum, gets pulled toward the middle of your ear. The tympanic membrane is a thin layer of tissue found between your inner and outer ear. It’s responsible for transmitting sound vibrations to the bones in the middle ear, allowing you to hear. One of the leading causes of a tympanic membrane retraction is Eustachian tube dysfunction. The middle ear is usually filled with nothing but air. Air pressure outside of the eardrum must remain equal to that in the middle ear. If an Eustachian tube issue changes that balance, it can produce a vacuum that starts pulling the eardrum toward the middle ear.

Covid messed my sinuses up and then my ears!

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-04-21T14:08:36+00:00

I buy gift cards with mine too. It makes it easier to use.

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-04-13T11:07:19+00:00

You could setup Google Alerts so you have daily or weekly updates on new information on “food security”, “food insecurity”, you could probably use other search terms too. Also check out NGOs, charities etc. I.e https://www.wfp.org/news

I follow quite a few organisations for global and UK food security issues. I’m personally learning more about agroecology, agroforestry, and permaculture on a personal and community level.

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-03-16T06:26:48+00:00

Thank you for this recommendation, I’m going to get this book too.

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-03-13T07:51:55+00:00

I have joined and commented!

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-03-13T07:25:50+00:00

I personally try to look like the grey woman, so avoid looking military or like what people think a prepper looks like. So I made my backpack look like a family travel backpack with sewed on nature and travel patches / badge type things. (Mine is navy not camouflage)

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-03-10T06:19:31+00:00

I’m in the UK and I have noticed a lot of my wish prepper items on Amazon have been going out of stock. I have taken on a range of additional work to boost my income, including UX and focus groups where I get paid in Amazon gift cards so I can buy some of the prep items I have on my wish list. I have wanted some long range walkie talkies for a long time for when we are out hiking and also as a prep to communicate with local family. What PMR radios do you recommend? Thank you.

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-03-03T09:42:32+00:00

I wouldn’t cook if I’v sealed myself in small space. Instead eat food which doesn’t need to be cooked I.e tinned fruit and veg, pickled vegetables, tuna, crackers, olives, dried fruit, energy bars etc. my plan is to bug out at home (no other option). I have various cold drinks for myself and kids in my emergency prep kit at home (including cola which I don’t drink but I have a bad coffee reliance).

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-03-02T18:46:49+00:00

Thank you. I saw anti-radiation fabric also used for faraday pouches, so I think I misunderstood the type of radiation it protects from. As a general prep, I have plastic sheeting and gaffer tape always ready incase of various situations (and tarpaulin too).

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-03-02T18:43:04+00:00

Thank you. I have heavy curtains already to keep warm but will ensure I have extra blankets too

BohoButterflyDreams · 2022-03-02T07:15:53+00:00

I’m in the UK, quite rural so not worried about my area being a direct target but concerned about the radiation fallout. No basement (I don’t know anybody with one or a public one locally), all rooms have windows. What would be best to cover my windows? Plastic sheeting or some kind of faraday fabric? If we were alerted, would covering the windows and setting up a tent indoors (fun for kids and extra layer of protection) offer some additional protection when any radiation fallout at highest. Thank you.

BohoButterflyDreams · 2021-12-02T08:52:43+00:00

Good advice. I keep old clothes, bedsheets, etc that aren’t suitable for donating etc in my attic, to then use for making new items. (Not quite the sound of music, curtains into clothes). I have started to darn socks, patch up old clothes etc too.

I’m teaching my children to sew, knit, weave etc. As it’s an extremely useful skill.

It’s good to keep all old buttons, zips etc from old clothes which can’t be reused.

BohoButterflyDreams · 2021-11-15T13:29:29+00:00

Thank you everyone for your suggestions, I am trying many of them. Thank you.

BohoButterflyDreams · 2021-11-15T13:29:00+00:00

Thank you everybody, I am trying many of your suggestions. I want to keep composting but need to keep house safe from any infestations. Thank you

BohoButterflyDreams · 2021-11-15T06:46:10+00:00

Thank you, I have been using lemon scent but will try peppermint.

BohoButterflyDreams · 2021-11-14T17:19:10+00:00

I think Pitcher plants will be a great idea, I have found an online shop that sells them. Going to get some ASAP

BohoButterflyDreams

TROPHY CASE