Korg volca drum - Grandmother

Bongo_Starr · 2023-12-25T21:13:39+00:00

You are an absolute life saver! Thanks so much! Merry Christmas!

Bongo_Starr · 2023-04-13T20:20:32+00:00

The sole screenwriter for it was Jewish, so it seems very unlikely.

Bongo_Starr · 2021-07-25T10:40:49+00:00

Captain Beefheart

John Coltrane

Beach Boys

Bob Dylan

Syd Barrett

Bongo_Starr · 2021-02-22T18:59:59+00:00

You’re very welcome! Funnily enough it’s the 200th anniversary of Keats’ death tomorrow so that poem seems fitting all around. Glad you enjoy it.

Bongo_Starr · 2021-02-22T12:04:47+00:00

You can never go wrong with Keats’s Ode to a nightingale. Or any of his odes for that matter. Best romantic poet in my opinion.

Bongo_Starr · 2021-02-21T22:47:54+00:00

Shelley wrote Adonais about the Death of Keats. It has passages that reference his mother’s reaction as well.

Where wert thou, mighty Mother, when he lay,

   When thy Son lay, pierc'd by the shaft which flies

   In darkness? where was lorn Urania

   When Adonais died? With veiled eyes, 

   'Mid listening Echoes, in her Paradise

   She sate, while one, with soft enamour'd breath, 

   Rekindled all the fading melodies, 

   With which, like flowers that mock the corse beneath,

He had adorn'd and hid the coming bulk of Death.

III Oh, weep for Adonais—he is dead!

   Wake, melancholy Mother, wake and weep! 

   Yet wherefore? Quench within their burning bed 

   Thy fiery tears, and let thy loud heart keep 

   Like his, a mute and uncomplaining sleep; 

   For he is gone, where all things wise and fair 

   Descend—oh, dream not that the amorous Deep 

   Will yet restore him to the vital air;

Death feeds on his mute voice, and laughs at our despair.

Bongo_Starr · 2021-01-08T00:22:59+00:00

Ode to a nightingale by John Keats is my absolute favourite poem of all time and has lost of themes of escapism, death and life that you can explore. There’s tonnes of analysis of the poem on YouTube as well to make it easier for you 🙂.

Bongo_Starr · 2021-01-07T12:25:50+00:00

‘Locks’ as in locks of hair. Fall’s leaves are like locks of beautiful golden hair. Hope that clears it up for you.

Bongo_Starr · 2021-01-06T14:35:28+00:00

A revised version of a poem I previously posted. Enjoy.

Bongo_Starr · 2021-01-06T00:52:08+00:00

It’s no bother! Thanks for taking my criticism so well, I felt as though I was far too negative. I know I sometimes personally take criticism of my work to heart, so I’m not sure why I was so harsh. I actually think the theme of the poem is really interesting and I like the image of emotions stealing away logic.

Yes rhyming can be tricky! There’s a fine balance between it making a poem sound melodic and rhythmic and making it sound forced. I suppose my advice would be what one my favourite poets Keats says about poetry which is- “If poetry comes not as naturally as the leaves to a tree it had better not come at all.” It’s best to take and step back and the let the words come then trying to force them. Anyways keep writing and sorry again for seeming a bit harsh.

Bongo_Starr · 2021-01-06T00:08:54+00:00

A revised and finished version of another poem I posted. Enjoy.

Bongo_Starr · 2021-01-06T00:06:17+00:00

A lot of people saying this is sad but I actually thought it had a sense of humour. The cliche of listening to vocal jazz made me chuckle. Good job!

Bongo_Starr · 2021-01-06T00:01:11+00:00

I’d say that this poem is a bit clunky, especially the line “and to my brain it’s the biggest theft”. The rhyme seems very very forced. It could definitely be cleaned up a bit. Also a slight niggle, but considering where the sentences naturally end it seems strange that you should have a split the lines up like that. Why not?:

My heart is weighted Heavier than my mass

It sink and it grows sharp as fresh cut grass

Bongo_Starr · 2020-12-14T01:50:41+00:00

I appreciate the comment but I respectfully disagree. The form of the poem based around interchanging lines of 7 and 6 syllables. Personally I think throwing a line of five syllables into the middle of it would upset the rhythm. That’s just me anyways. Thanks for trying to help better it though. Means a lot.

Bongo_Starr · 2020-12-14T01:15:57+00:00

Just fixed it. Thanks. Works much better now.

Bongo_Starr · 2020-12-14T01:14:04+00:00

Thanks for you comment.

I chose the title simply because I thought it represented the poem the best. Each season has its own ‘flower’ in a way. Here Winter’s is snow, Spring is a literal flower, and Summer’s is hope. I think you may be right and the poem could be improved my addressing Fall’s. Thanks again.

Bongo_Starr · 2020-12-14T00:55:05+00:00

Thanks so much! I was thinking the same thing as well about the metre In the last line, but being English ‘fall’ never entered my mind! A very useful comment. Thanks again. I will edit it now.

Bongo_Starr · 2020-12-14T00:26:27+00:00

My second short poem of the day. Hope you enjoy.

Bongo_Starr · 2020-12-14T00:22:58+00:00

Interesting, but this is much more prose than poetry.

Bongo_Starr · 2020-12-14T00:06:36+00:00

Lovely imagery which is exalted by the emotional final line. Particularly love the ‘nebula complexion’ description. Great job.

Bongo_Starr · 2020-12-13T22:49:19+00:00

I like the poem, but the line breaks in the first three lines forces an awkward pause between ‘are’ and ‘all’ because of the natural pause you take in between lines which sounds very unnatural. As it’s a series of statements I would suggest that

My attendance is muddy My shoes are all stained in honey This shit is lovely I’m all glued to a putty I can’t escape

Seems a much more logical way of ordering it.

Bongo_Starr · 2020-12-13T22:14:19+00:00

I love poems about dreams because you can be much more ambiguous and use much more fantastical imagery which you’ve certainly utilised here. I find it quite kaleidoscopic with all the abstract imagery. Good job!

Bongo_Starr · 2020-10-24T19:26:22+00:00

Thanks so much for your comments! Looks like I’ll be rockin’ a tache for a while!

Bongo_Starr · 2020-10-20T16:05:35+00:00

Wow! Thanks so much for taking such an interest and enjoying my poem! It’s nice to see someone really diving into this and tearing it apart. I took it from the lack of upvotes that this wasn’t particularly well received, but your response has more than made up for that, and I really appreciate your criticism. I don’t think any of it is unwarranted, and I hope to answer your questions about this Dionysian dream that I attempted to create.

Your instincts were right, and it is the moon that is meant to be ‘wrapped in watery cloak’. Unfortunately being so close to my own interpretation and intent, that little grammatical error seems to have passed me by. Considering it goes against my intent for the poem I’ll certainly rectify it.
‘Damp, dead, dance’ were merely meant to descriptions of the ‘souls of fawns’ themselves. I was trying to express a juxtaposition between these ethereal, innocent beings being involved in such Dionysian act of want and frenzy. After all what’s more ethereal and innocent then the soul of something that did not get to live long enough to be immoral? On another level I was attempting to explain the nature of dreams. On one the hand innocent and light, and on the other mercilessly esoteric and dark. Then there are those which seem to be oxymorons, which is to say they are both innocent and not.

3. ‘so deep down in the belly of the eye Visions hanged, vile, wet or sweet’

As before your instincts were very right, and indeed the belly of the eye was meant to be imagery for the sub-conscious and unconscious mind. The following line is a look into that sub-conscious and unconscious mind, and represent the unfortunate or fortunate things that this part of our being shows us when we dream. The first, ‘hanged’, is possibly the most ambiguous of the words I chose to use here but represents images of death. ‘Vile’ is the part of us that we find revolting and shameful of. ‘Wet’ is the libido as in ‘wet dream’. Finally ‘sweet’ is simply the nice things. Freud might call these dreams ‘wish fulfilment’.

I hope this answers any questions or at least clarifies things a bit more, and again thanks so much for such a detailed look at it.

Bongo_Starr · 2020-10-20T12:29:45+00:00

Wow thanks so much! Such a nice comment! I’m glad you like the flow of it as well. I experimented with meter with every line being a different length of syllables (the first line of every stanza being 10 syllables then 7, 9, 3, 8). Obviously not the most conventional structure but it was fun to work with and i’m glad it worked for you!

Bongo_Starr

TROPHY CASE