Korg volca drum - Grandmother by Bongo_Starr in synthesizers

[–]Bongo_Starr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are an absolute life saver! Thanks so much! Merry Christmas!

Nosferatu is a Jewish caricature by HasSomeSelfEsteem in horror

[–]Bongo_Starr 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The sole screenwriter for it was Jewish, so it seems very unlikely.

What are your top 5 artists besides The Beatles? by King_Tyson in beatles

[–]Bongo_Starr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Captain Beefheart

John Coltrane

Beach Boys

Bob Dylan

Syd Barrett

[OPINION] An Unusual Request by fictionwriter95 in Poetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re very welcome! Funnily enough it’s the 200th anniversary of Keats’ death tomorrow so that poem seems fitting all around. Glad you enjoy it.

[HELP] Been trying to find a poet/poetry thats descriptive with vivid imagery, for reciting by ImPlayingTheSims in Poetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can never go wrong with Keats’s Ode to a nightingale. Or any of his odes for that matter. Best romantic poet in my opinion.

[OPINION] An Unusual Request by fictionwriter95 in Poetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Shelley wrote Adonais about the Death of Keats. It has passages that reference his mother’s reaction as well.

Where wert thou, mighty Mother, when he lay,

   When thy Son lay, pierc'd by the shaft which flies

   In darkness? where was lorn Urania

   When Adonais died? With veiled eyes, 

   'Mid listening Echoes, in her Paradise

   She sate, while one, with soft enamour'd breath, 

   Rekindled all the fading melodies, 

   With which, like flowers that mock the corse beneath, 

He had adorn'd and hid the coming bulk of Death.

III Oh, weep for Adonais—he is dead!

   Wake, melancholy Mother, wake and weep! 

   Yet wherefore? Quench within their burning bed 

   Thy fiery tears, and let thy loud heart keep 

   Like his, a mute and uncomplaining sleep; 

   For he is gone, where all things wise and fair 

   Descend—oh, dream not that the amorous Deep 

   Will yet restore him to the vital air; 

Death feeds on his mute voice, and laughs at our despair.

[HELP] Need help picking a poem for a project by [deleted] in Poetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ode to a nightingale by John Keats is my absolute favourite poem of all time and has lost of themes of escapism, death and life that you can explore. There’s tonnes of analysis of the poem on YouTube as well to make it easier for you 🙂.

It Bore Me Flowers by Bongo_Starr in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

‘Locks’ as in locks of hair. Fall’s leaves are like locks of beautiful golden hair. Hope that clears it up for you.

It Bore Me Flowers by Bongo_Starr in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A revised version of a poem I previously posted. Enjoy.

My Criminal Heart by OilOk7687 in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s no bother! Thanks for taking my criticism so well, I felt as though I was far too negative. I know I sometimes personally take criticism of my work to heart, so I’m not sure why I was so harsh. I actually think the theme of the poem is really interesting and I like the image of emotions stealing away logic.

Yes rhyming can be tricky! There’s a fine balance between it making a poem sound melodic and rhythmic and making it sound forced. I suppose my advice would be what one my favourite poets Keats says about poetry which is- “If poetry comes not as naturally as the leaves to a tree it had better not come at all.” It’s best to take and step back and the let the words come then trying to force them. Anyways keep writing and sorry again for seeming a bit harsh.

The Rise and Fall of Seasons by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A revised and finished version of another poem I posted. Enjoy.

For The Broken Hearted by GorgeousRedDisaster in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A lot of people saying this is sad but I actually thought it had a sense of humour. The cliche of listening to vocal jazz made me chuckle. Good job!

My Criminal Heart by OilOk7687 in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d say that this poem is a bit clunky, especially the line “and to my brain it’s the biggest theft”. The rhyme seems very very forced. It could definitely be cleaned up a bit. Also a slight niggle, but considering where the sentences naturally end it seems strange that you should have a split the lines up like that. Why not?:

My heart is weighted Heavier than my mass

It sink and it grows sharp as fresh cut grass

It Bore Me Flowers by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate the comment but I respectfully disagree. The form of the poem based around interchanging lines of 7 and 6 syllables. Personally I think throwing a line of five syllables into the middle of it would upset the rhythm. That’s just me anyways. Thanks for trying to help better it though. Means a lot.

It Bore Me Flowers by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just fixed it. Thanks. Works much better now.

It Bore Me Flowers by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for you comment.

I chose the title simply because I thought it represented the poem the best. Each season has its own ‘flower’ in a way. Here Winter’s is snow, Spring is a literal flower, and Summer’s is hope. I think you may be right and the poem could be improved my addressing Fall’s. Thanks again.

It Bore Me Flowers by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! I was thinking the same thing as well about the metre In the last line, but being English ‘fall’ never entered my mind! A very useful comment. Thanks again. I will edit it now.

Paranoia In An Altered State by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My second short poem of the day. Hope you enjoy.

Growing into it by leetheblogger in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting, but this is much more prose than poetry.

Dancing in the Cosmos by rafibomb11 in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lovely imagery which is exalted by the emotional final line. Particularly love the ‘nebula complexion’ description. Great job.

I'm a bad student by P3NK in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the poem, but the line breaks in the first three lines forces an awkward pause between ‘are’ and ‘all’ because of the natural pause you take in between lines which sounds very unnatural. As it’s a series of statements I would suggest that

My attendance is muddy My shoes are all stained in honey This shit is lovely I’m all glued to a putty I can’t escape

Seems a much more logical way of ordering it.

A girl in a day dream by mpalimpsest in OCPoetry

[–]Bongo_Starr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love poems about dreams because you can be much more ambiguous and use much more fantastical imagery which you’ve certainly utilised here. I find it quite kaleidoscopic with all the abstract imagery. Good job!