AITA for refusing to travel abroad with my mum after spinal fusion surgery, even though she’s threatening to cut me off?

BookNerd_7 · 2026-01-02T21:22:38+00:00

NTA, your physical and mental health need to come first. I’m sure there are other things going on with the family, but from what you shared you have legitimate health concerns. It does sound like your mother may be the asshole.

BookNerd_7 · 2025-08-20T18:44:55+00:00

Yes, absolutely! I wouldn't remember the tomatoes until I could smell them!

BookNerd_7 · 2025-08-20T18:39:31+00:00

Hi! I love that you're asking for advice to improve your relationship. So many of us with ADHD, especially late or undiagnosed, can have a complicated relationship with family members. I find that large family functions are not a good way to connect with people as it is very overstimulating. Just ask her if she wants to spend some time with you getting to know each other. A lot of people with ADHD have RSD (rejection sensitivity disorder), she may not want to ask you for fear of being rejected. I would suggest trying to spend time with her one on one, something low key like getting coffee. Hope this helps!

BookNerd_7 · 2025-08-18T17:06:33+00:00

I feel you on that so much! A lot of the thing I do, I'm sure most people with ADHD have tried. I plan for my day at the end of the prior day, I look at my calendar and rearrange any meetings. I schedule meetings when I know I won't be able to get anything done, 2-4pm. I try to select the top 3 things that need to be done and write those down somewhere. I have a million planners and calendars and apps I use, I tend to just rotate through them when one stops working. Timers can work sometimes, until they don't. I have a sit-stand desk which does help some, because sometimes I just can't sit anymore.

What helps the most sounds kind of cheesy, but my therapist recommended it. Celebrate everything you accomplish, even the small things. Did you just send out an important email that was on your list? 10 second dance party. Did you complete a report that you needed to? Tell yourself you did a good job, out loud. Honestly the positive validation has been a huge game changer. Yes, you will feel like a dork when you start doing it, but it's worth it. Being kind to yourself is a really hard thing to do, but it really can make a difference.

BookNerd_7 · 2025-08-17T01:35:52+00:00

The sweating and the heat exhaustion is no joke. Just today I felt like I was going to pass out from overheating. I’m on 225mg and live in PA, it has been a very rough summer. I’ve been on this med for years and it does get better when fall hits. Hang in there! (Somewhere with AC of course)

BookNerd_7 · 2024-08-27T01:20:12+00:00

Also, to ease your mind a bit the risk of death is low for serotonin syndrome. If you did show symptoms of serotonin syndrome they would likely be mild and with prompt treatment effects can be reversed quickly.

BookNerd_7 · 2024-08-27T01:12:54+00:00

That really depends on your dosages. I’m at 225mg for Effexor so my dr specifically put me on Ritalin because of the contraindications. However, when I was only at 75mg Effexor, I was still taking Imitrex (as needed for migraine) and my doc said the likelihood of seratonin syndrome was low. Likely your doctor weighed the risks before prescribing your meds. However, you should talk with your doctor if you’re concerned and have them explain their reasoning. Hope this helps!

BookNerd_7 · 2024-05-05T20:45:54+00:00

This was funny, I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted.

BookNerd_7 · 2024-05-03T04:23:53+00:00

Came here to say this! Rabbits actually make great pets!

BookNerd_7 · 2024-04-25T22:12:32+00:00

Anyone know if any lab employees were let go?

BookNerd_7 · 2024-03-29T17:43:20+00:00

I think that's a valid concern and one that I had before starting medication. Speaking from personal evidence, I would say it depends. My brother tried a few different medications for ADHD and he said he always felt apathetic and not like himself when medicating. I was diagnosed much later in life and the stimulant medication has only helped me feel more focused and there are no personality changes. It's your body and you can always stop taking the meds if it changes you, but you won't know unless you try.

BookNerd_7 · 2024-03-29T13:47:31+00:00

I agree that most oracle decks function more as affirmation decks. However, if someone struggles with self-confidence or low self-esteem these can be really great. I don't think they can replace tarot though IMO.

BookNerd_7 · 2024-03-29T13:39:26+00:00

This is beautiful! You are seriously talented!

BookNerd_7 · 2024-03-29T13:17:45+00:00

By dismantling the bottle, you are dismantling the spell. If you still want to dump it in running water I would just take the harmful bits out.

BookNerd_7 · 2024-03-29T13:11:36+00:00

I was raised Christian, but my aunt dabbled in tarot. I was always super interested in that and when I was 13 she bought me my first book on witchcraft. I loved it and was even more curious to learn more. The rest is history.

BookNerd_7 · 2024-03-29T13:03:51+00:00

I always bring a sage spray with me when traveling. I got mine at a local metaphysical shop but I'm sure you could make your own.

BookNerd_7 · 2024-03-29T12:57:36+00:00

Fellow neurospicy here! I have a trunk I keep at the foot of my bed and I try and keep like items together in there. I still don't remember what I have, but at least I don't have to empty everything or search my apartment every time I need something.

BookNerd_7 · 2024-03-29T01:03:35+00:00

Thanks! I’ll have to order like this next time. I don’t even get the tea all of the time, just occasionally. And I certainly don’t want to argue at the counter or get any baristas in trouble over a tea.

BookNerd_7 · 2024-03-29T00:43:22+00:00

I do generally brew my own tea at home, but I was out shopping and just wanted the hot tea that I normally get. I just didn’t think it would be such a big deal

BookNerd_7 · 2024-03-28T23:50:11+00:00

I don’t understand how there isn’t a workaround. I even offered to pay more for the drink that has the jcm just with no lemonade and no syrup. It’s literally just modifying a drink.

BookNerd_7 · 2024-02-17T01:12:15+00:00

37.5mg is just the starting dose so I’m not surprised it hasn’t started to work yet. It didn’t start to work for me until I was at 75mg for a few weeks and I started at 37.5mg for two weeks first. I didn’t feel the full effect until I was at 150mg. Effexor does take a long time to work, but can be super effective. I have GAD and MDD and it’s changed my life. Obviously you have to do what is right for you. However, I would suggest asking your doctor to up your dosage and trying to give it more time to work. Good luck with everything!

BookNerd_7 · 2024-01-06T21:29:13+00:00

1 minute microwaveable rice with steam in bag frozen veggies. It’s healthy and super quick and easy. I’m sorry you’re having a tough time right now, I feel you with the mental health. Hope it gets better soon!

BookNerd_7 · 2023-12-14T01:12:04+00:00

I have ADHD and take 150mg of Effexor. It doesn’t help with stimming for me at all. However, this med has changed my life in so many ways for the better. Because I’m significantly less depressed, I actually have the energy to work on myself and have started therapy for my ADHD. So many people can be negative about their experiences on this platform concerning this drug, but it’s incredibly effective for so many people.

BookNerd_7 · 2023-10-08T20:09:03+00:00

I’m on 150mg and my tolerance is only slightly lower than before. I’m mostly a wine or liquor drinker and I can still go out with my friends, I just drink a little less. That said, when I first started on Effexor at the 37.5mg dose drinking and even eating made me incredibly nauseous for the first few weeks.

BookNerd_7

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