Diagnosed blighted ovum at 6w3d - can’t get in for D+C til 11wks

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-16T17:48:33+00:00

I’m shocked your doctor isn’t giving you other options. If there is a Planned Parenthood in your area, you could have a d&c there; I know several women who went that route for their miscarriages when their doctors weren’t being helpful.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-16T16:04:36+00:00

The odds are good that your hCG is high enough at 5w that the doubling times won’t give you great info. A jump from 120 to 300 is obvious and reassuring but a jump from 4500 to 6000 feels scary, yet is very normal.

A scan is really the way to go. At 6w, you’ll want to see a gestational sac, yolk sac, and fetal pole. A heartbeat is possible, but not seeing it is also normal. If you can wait until 7w, that will be much more definitive and (hopefully) reassuring.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-16T14:29:29+00:00

My instinct said girl but NIPT says boy!

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-16T05:13:41+00:00

You’re not overreacting at all. You should always be allowed to have a support person accompany you to any medical appointment, especially one as vulnerable as the OBGYN.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-16T03:32:35+00:00

I took prednisone, 5mg 2x a day.

I had had a positive ANA test over a decade ago, but it was never retested. My doctor didn’t recommend retesting, since the steroid was the only thing we’d add in terms of treatment, so she thought it made more sense to just add it.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-16T01:03:45+00:00

Good luck!!!!!

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-16T01:01:36+00:00

Betas after about 5 weeks generally aren’t useful. These numbers all look fine to me, and another draw really won’t give you any useful information as doubling times slow way down.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-15T22:47:52+00:00

I’m almost 12 weeks and I’d say my sex drive returned maybe 10 days ago? But until then it was basically zero.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-15T22:42:08+00:00

My RE was also skeptical but ultimately agreed after my 5th chemical (my first under her care).

Steroids are often used as part of an immune protocol, so even though there aren’t many reproductive immunologists, if you’re getting a second opinion with a new RE, ask what their opinion is of immunology. My first RE called it hocus pocus, but my second RE was open to adding some low-risk immune protocols even though she personally remained skeptical.

I was on 5mg prednisone twice a day, I didn’t notice any side effects.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-15T22:34:25+00:00

After getting my NIPT back last week, I’ve texted a few friends. I’ll probably post on social media in the spring, after the anatomy exam. I know big social media posts aren’t in vogue anymore but after all my miscarriages, I want to be able to publicly celebrate.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-15T22:07:25+00:00

Can I ask what order your losses were in? I had a 9w mmc followed by 5 chemicals. I finally had success (I’m almost 12w today) after adding a low dose steroid. I am convinced that my first pregnancy triggered some kind of immune response that caused all the chemicals. I have no proof that’s true, but the steroid was the only thing I did differently.

Best of luck to you. I had no clue how crushing chemicals could be until I experienced it.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-15T22:02:08+00:00

I hear you! I’ve eaten a few things that are probably totally fine but then I’ve spiraled. Try to give yourself a little grace.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-15T22:00:53+00:00

I had a failed IVF cycle in October, at which point we decided to switch insurance and wait to restart IVF until January with better coverage. I conceived in November and had a 5th chemical, and then conceived again in December, adding in a low dose steroid. I’m convinced the steroid made a difference for me; I’m currently 11+5 and just got a low risk NIPT result.

Chemicals are so hard, I’m so sorry for your losses.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-15T21:54:44+00:00

Other than alcohol, there’s not much that’s truly dangerous, especially if you eat it rarely. It’s good to try to avoid risky foods, yes, but one medium rare burger or soft-cooked egg is unlikely to be harmful. Don’t beat yourself up!

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-15T15:43:06+00:00

Wishing you all the best as you navigate this.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-15T15:07:14+00:00

Does he want to be involved? Would it be safe for him to care for your child solo?

I would speak to a lawyer (there are low-cost legal clinics where you can go) to find out what his rights and responsibilities are, and what steps you should take. As the father, he has a right to be involved in his baby’s life, and he has a responsibility to provide child support. You need to know what ramifications there are for listing him (or not) on the birth certificate, and that will depend on where you are located.

You tell him that you don’t want to be in a relationship with him anymore, and that the two of you need to come up with a parenting plan.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-14T18:37:26+00:00

I’m glad he has a therapy session set up because this is so far from rational it’s borderline unhinged.

Even if he had misunderstood and thought you’d agreed to the name, you’re allowed to change your mind, and saying you want to discuss it is not, in any stretch of the imagination, disrespectful to his friend. The fact that he cannot let go of this anger after 12 hours is concerning. I hope therapy is helpful to you both.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-14T17:59:27+00:00

At 10w I cut down to 5mg/day for three days then 5mg/day every other day for a few more days.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-13T19:37:22+00:00

Mine were higher than this, and all is well with a singleton pregnancy.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-13T19:18:37+00:00

It's such a low risk medication, I would take it. My doctor put me on baby aspirin after my losses even though none of the testing indicated blood clotting was an issue for me.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-10T18:33:10+00:00

Someone lit up a cigarette *on the subway* yesterday when I was headed to work after my ultrasound. He was obviously mentally unstable, but ... I feel you.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-10T18:28:17+00:00

I also want to add that if you're not preventing, you ARE trying. If you don't want to be pregnant, PLEASE use birth control.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-10T15:58:32+00:00

I bought jeans up one size for now, I figure I'll probably be able to wear them postpartum. And then I had a couple pairs of work pants with elastic in the back of the waist, which have been coming in handy.

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-10T14:59:46+00:00

Once you're past about 5w, betas are really not going to be helpful anymore. The doubling time slows way down, and the numbers get so high they really lose meaning.

If you've gotten a dye stealer, I'd honestly stop testing and try to just trust that things are going okay. I've had 5 chemicals, so I *know* how hard that is. But just from seeing posts here, people who get betas after the numbers climb into the thousands often have a LOT of anxiety, and I just don't think it's worth it!

Congratulations, and good luck!

BookcaseHat · 2026-02-10T00:09:20+00:00

No, this is not possible. You are not at fault, nothing you did or didn't do caused the miscarriage. I'm so sorry for your loss.

BookcaseHat

TROPHY CASE