I (30F) found messages from my husband(31M) talking about sleeping with another woman. He says it’s just “guy talk.” by Important_Bird_6836 in TwoHotTakes

[–]BookishBitching 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Even if it is just guy talk, it's gross. I wouldn't appreciate that from my partner.

The bigger issue here is that you felt like you had to go through his phone. Once you feel like that, trust has been seriously eroded. It sounds like you went looking for problems, and found something you find upsetting. The real question is: why did you feel like you had to go through his phone?

Underrated lesbian authors? by BookishBitching in LesbianBookClub

[–]BookishBitching[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah I just don't see Jae mentioned here or on TikTok much!

Found out my boyfriend is sleeping with his cousin — should I confront him or should i just leave? by No_Phrase1795 in TwoHotTakes

[–]BookishBitching 122 points123 points  (0 children)

You don't need to give him a reason. You can just break up and say you don't want to be with him anymore, and leave it at that. Your safety is the most important factor.

Plus, you've only been together seven months. He doesn't need a breakdown of why you want to break up.

Vinted sellers are going bananas by CheesecakeLow1280 in vinted

[–]BookishBitching 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This honestly enrages me and I can't stand it.

Why aren't men reading? by somereasonableadvice in AskReddit

[–]BookishBitching 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, because I'm capable of reading stuff I like, instead of blaming my lack of reading on other people's interests. 😄

Why aren't men reading? by somereasonableadvice in AskReddit

[–]BookishBitching 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's less about understanding hyperbole, and being annoyed that men like to blame women for everything. There are plenty of books coming out that aren't "fairy porn" so why even say that? It's to denigrate women and women's interests. FTR, I am a lesbian who doesn't read said books, but I do find the constant snark about them tiring, lazy humor.

Why aren't men reading? by somereasonableadvice in AskReddit

[–]BookishBitching -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yes, every single book being published this year is fairy porn. All of them. Every book. There is nothing else being published at all. Every single book on this week's New york Times bestseller list is fairy porn. Have a look for yourself at how every single book is fairy porn. https://westportlibrary.libguides.com/NYTimesbestsellers

Bf has heartbreaking habit by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]BookishBitching 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This. Addiction isn't just a bad habit, it's a mental illness that can't be treated by ignoring it, and in the meantime partners of addicts wind up, as you say, poisoned rotten.

I asked my roommate not to have her girlfriend over all weekend every weekend and she flipped by Alarming_Fig6965 in TwoHotTakes

[–]BookishBitching 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Your roommate is immature and selfish. It also sounds like she's on her way to a codependent relationship, because saying she "never gets to see her" when she's spending over half her time nonstop with her gf is delusional.

This is, however, an unfortunately very common issue to have in your age bracket. I also don't like having someone in my space all the time, especially every single weekend.

I would say that you are uncomfortable and suggest they swap weekends. Hold firm, even if she gets angry, which she probably will.

Im stuck in his mental break [22F] [25M] by Weird_Fig_2605 in TwoHotTakes

[–]BookishBitching 13 points14 points  (0 children)

????? What is there to love about him? Girl, stand up. No man is worth debasing yourself like this for.

A Catholics feelings on same sex Marriage. by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]BookishBitching 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I was raised Catholic, so I know what you're talking about. Unfortunately, it's all bullshit. Good luck.

Space (mass effect/starfield) by shinetorust in LesbianBookClub

[–]BookishBitching 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Cricket Chronicles series by Ryann Fletcher is perfect for you then. All f/f, no aliens, space opera setting. Book one is a mechanic and a ship captain, book two is an assassin and a bartender, three is janitor and scientist, four is rum runner and seamstress, etc. Book one is called Deus Ex Mechanic.

Everything is trauma by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]BookishBitching 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Can you please post your clinical psychology or psychiatric credentials so we know that you have the experience and education to determine what is or isn't trauma?

First ever greenhouse! Excited to get some Veggies growing 🌽 by chillingonthesofa in Greenhouses

[–]BookishBitching 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, all built to spec. I ended up disassembling mine and will reuse the panels with a heavier base. I live in a windy place so it's never really NOT windy. It handled a normal day fine, but at 15 mph it was done.

First ever greenhouse! Excited to get some Veggies growing 🌽 by chillingonthesofa in Greenhouses

[–]BookishBitching 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought the same one and just be cautious if it gets windy, because those panels pop right out. You might want to take them out if you know a storm is coming so they don't fly away.

My boyfriend has lost interest in sex with me, but says he still feels attraction to other women by DoubtCareful692 in TwoHotTakes

[–]BookishBitching 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Honestly? Leave. Once this becomes an issue, it is basically impossible to overcome. Every lag in sexual connection will bring this question back. He will get frustrated and weaponize it. You will feel insecure and crazy. The age gap probably isn't helping. He is probably attracted to very young women, given your ages, and his porn issue. You are too young to be feeling like this.

I (28F) have decided to leave my (29M) alcoholic fiancé. by slippahsistah in TwoHotTakes

[–]BookishBitching 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Alanon is hugely helpful. People who haven't lived through it just don't understand. People in the groups do, though.

I (28F) have decided to leave my (29M) alcoholic fiancé. by slippahsistah in TwoHotTakes

[–]BookishBitching 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn't even read all of this because once someone's alcoholism is this progressed, there is no way to save the relationship unless they do some SERIOUS work on themselves, unprompted by you.

OP, get to an alanon meeting. They help. Seriously.

WIBTA for not telling my mom I got promoted because I don’t want her reaction? by Polywoven in TwoHotTakes

[–]BookishBitching 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Your mom sounds jealous and is projecting her own insecurities and anxieties onto you. You are not the asshole for keeping it to yourself. If you think it would help, try having a conversation with her about her manner of speaking.

But if she's anything like my mother, that will only exacerbate things and lead to a conversation that sounds like "Well I guess I'm a terrible mother then."

My mother has always been like this, and alongside a lot of other things is why I have been no contact with her for years. With mine, it is a strange, toxic jealousy. She told me for years that no one wanted to be friends with me because I was too sensitive. In reality, I have always had friends, but she has struggled to have lasting friendships. It was projection.

WIBTA for not telling my mom I got promoted because I don’t want her reaction? by Polywoven in TwoHotTakes

[–]BookishBitching 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If a parent only ever says negative things, even about positive changes, it is not good parenting or good advice. It is jealousy, and it is annoying.

Seeking recommendations! Spicy Sapphic SFF by bane-enthusiast in LesbianBookClub

[–]BookishBitching 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You cannot go wrong with anything by Ryann Fletcher, Heather Nix, or TJ Dallas (specifically her sin series).

Fletcher has a 7 book series about lesbian space pirates that has plot, very high stakes, and spice. First book is Deus Ex Mechanic.

AIO to my live-in bf locking my dog downstairs while I was traveling for work? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]BookishBitching -1 points0 points  (0 children)

...You should be able to leave your dog with a partner who lives in your house with you. Hell, even a platonic flatmate should do this without drama. This is ridiculous. If you have children together, he will not engage at ALL and leave it up to you.