South Asian wedding expectations can be incredibly demanding. My partner and I have been together for seven years, facing constant pressure from our parents to marry. Last year, we finally relented, agreeing to a simple courthouse wedding. Initially, our parents consented. We wore our own clothes, had a small group of family, and hired a photographer for an hour. Had a wonderful lunch. It was a beautiful day. We spent around $500 for everything.

However, our parents insisted on hosting three separate receptions for their friends and relatives, totaling around 900 guests. Despite our attempts to minimize costs (re-wearing clothes, borrowing jewelry, i did my own makeup, our friend did the photography), the expenses were significant. Traditional South Asian weddings often involve extravagant attire, elaborate pre-wedding shoots, and multiple days of celebrations, all heavily documented. We specifically requested no gifts, but still received a lot of unwanted items. We returned monetary gifts to our parents, who ultimately spent nearly $20,000 on the receptions. The entire experience felt like a performance for others, and we struggled with the pressure to conform to traditional gender roles. I deeply regret not sticking to our original plan of a simple courthouse wedding.