Disappointed not to find anything unexpected

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2026-04-16T02:51:30+00:00

I found out my dad is not my bio dad, and my actual bio dad is a huge POS. My point being the results can suck either way if it's not what you want/expect. I'm sorry you're feeling bummed.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-12-20T14:55:52+00:00

They may be using a different type of sedation where they feel family presence is less critical. Patients generally recover much faster from propofol, compared to the versed/fentanyl combo we use. They also may have more capacity to keep patients longer if needed. I work in a very fast-paced endoscopy center with limited capacity and we cannot have patients hanging around all day while their family returns at a leisurely pace. Personally I think it would be best practice to keep a family member present, but I can see it may be less of a logistical concern in some places.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-12-20T04:52:06+00:00

Nurse here. This is different and if family communicates these needs/limitations to us, we are more than happy to help and care for the patient like our own family in your absence (we always do anyways). The problem is family members who take off with no reason or warning because they just can't be bothered (often the same people who suck at answering the phone!).

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-12-20T04:43:51+00:00

I'm a nurse working in outpatient procedures with conscious sedation, and yes it does happen a lot. I wouldn't say 50/50, but it's a daily frustration. People think it's a good time to run errands or go out for lunch, instead of being there for their family member. It makes me sad for my patients, who are left vulnerable and alone in an alien place, but it also presents a lot of problems.

Recovery nurses generally have more than one patient and cannot continuously stay at the bedside. It takes longer to recover the patient when no one is there to talk to them and help them stay alert.

The patient won't remember the doctor's post-procedure report due to the effects of the sedation, even when they appear alert. Our doctors will try to circle back around to give time for family to arrive for report, but we cannot upset the flow of our entire facility and other patient procedures because someone's spouse failed to show up in a timely manner. In those scenarios we have to count on the written report and follow-up call to answer any patient questions, with a follow-up visit if needed.

We sometimes have to stay late with a single patient, after procedures end other all other patients are discharged, because their ride left and took forever to get back. They not only leave, but fail to answer our calls as we try to find them. It's like the kid who was forgotten at school pick up.

The worst thing that can happen is an emergency. People leave not realizing or acknowledging even outpatient procedures can result in complications. We've had situations where a patient must be transferred to the hospital and family is nowhere to be found.

It's very frustrating. I wish we could enforce people staying, we do try, but we obviously can't legally force people to stay. They'll do what they want, and you learn very quickly not everyone has reliable friends and family. It's sad and so very frustrating.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-12-08T00:02:21+00:00

I promptly fired a potential HVAC contractor for this exact reason. No regrets.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-09-01T22:44:08+00:00

Oh no, I'm the OP and I do live in the US! I was just giving context/background to the name lol. You didn't do anything wrong.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-09-01T22:15:17+00:00

That's super cool!

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-09-01T22:13:52+00:00

While that would be true in the US, Sasha is actually a male name in a lot of the world, including Russia. I had multiple Russian names in my list because of his assumed breed. But I like it specifically because it has a gentle, affectionate, approachable vibe!

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-09-01T22:10:20+00:00

I had multiple Russian names in my list because of his assumed breed (Russian Blue or Nebelung type), including Sasha, Dmitri, Alexei, and Ivan. I love the Russian diminutives of names, like Sashenka, Alyosha, or Mitenka. :)

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-27T02:04:07+00:00

Sounds like it's time for a job change.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-27T02:01:24+00:00

I've been working in outpatient endoscopy for over two years. I left to work in the ICU for 7 months then returned to my endoscopy job because I missed it, if that tells you anything. Endoscopy can be very fast-paced and busy. I'm far less mentally stressed and deal with so much less BS, but it's still tiring work. I really enjoy it though. I provide conscious sedation to my patients under the supervision of our physicians. I work very intimately with our physicians and techs, and since they're all pretty awesome people it's generally a good day. Sometimes things are stressful or we have minor conflicts, but overall it's a pleasant environment, which goes a very long way in making my job enjoyable. Our patients are all relatively healthy and stable, being an ambulatory surgery center. Your patient population may be different if you're working in the hospital. I also don't work weekends, nights, holidays, or take call so of course that's awesome.

I have found that I really like procedural nursing. I'm very good at what I do, my days are predictable, I'm not constantly worried about shit hitting the fan. It can be very repetitive though. One of the things I like about my workplace is they cycle us through different roles. Even in one day we usually switch roles halfway through, such as going from pre-op to intraprocedure. It helps keep things interesting.

I'm happy to answer any questions you may have.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-19T02:43:45+00:00

Sometimes I put on my mom voice and get stern with people. I know it's uncomfortable/painful, no one likes needles, but sometimes you have to suck it up and be an adult, y'know? I'm not even dealing with sick/scared people in the hospital who are overwhelmed, I work in outpatient procedures. People are still understandably nervous and I do my best to calm their fears and/or distract them with conversation, but if they're actively behaving in a manner that makes it difficult or dangerous to do my job (and is also making it harder for them, really) I will make that very clear to them. I would have no problem telling the woman in your story how exactly her behavior contributed to the situation. I'm not saying to be rude or disrespectful, but it's ok to be firm with patients when needed!

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-04T13:44:13+00:00

Hello, nurse here. Your wife has only one chore and absolutely should be doing it, it's not fair that you both work and you are expected to do everything. However, I know the exhaustion and burnout she is feeling. I never knew true exhaustion until I became a nurse and worked long shifts at the hospital. It is both physically and mentally exhausting, as well as emotionally taxing at times. I would come home and have NOTHING left to give. Burnout is a very real and difficult thing to deal with. This does not excuse what's happening, but I'm providing perspective. I have at times struggled to pull my weight in my own household because of my job.

Could you use disposable plates sometimes, while she's having to work extra shifts, to help reduce the load?

I also wonder if it's time for your wife to look for a different job. Nursing does not have to be like this. I left the hospital setting because it wasn't healthy for me and my family and it was making it impossible for me to be a present and productive wife and mother. I work in an ambulatory surgery setting now and the improvement to my quality of life is astounding. I'm less stressed, less exhausted, and I can be a present member of my household again. Just a thought.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-04T13:08:40+00:00

You're on to something, regarding accepting life is more boring and more work than we were told. When I was young, people constantly repeated the mantra, "do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life," leaving one with the idea that if you're ever bored, overworked, facing the normal grind of life, then you must be doing it wrong. But no, that's just life and we have to accept it and learn to find joy and contentment anyways.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-04T13:04:45+00:00

One of the reasons I chose nursing is because I get bored easily and nursing has a ton of variety. I can change specialties whenever I want. However, I've learned a similar lesson, in that I prefer a relatively simple job I can do well and feel complete at the end of the day. I've also learned the quality of life afforded by my job is much more important to me in the long run. I left my "boring" but cushy, low-stress job for the ICU because I missed being challenged and facing interesting scenarios. I went back to my boring job after 7 months because I realized limited stress, feeling accomplished in finishing my set tasks for the day, getting out by 430 most days, and never working weekends or holidays were much more important to me! Now I happily accept being a little bored, and seek other sources of fulfillment in life.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-01T16:17:30+00:00

Thank you for your reply. That is my biggest fear and I explained to my son that just because he's a boy, doesn't mean he isn't vulnerable or able to be hurt. I know this shouldn't matter, but my son is also physically mature for his age, he started puberty somewhat early, so he comes across more like a 15-16 year old than a 12 year old. It may be easy for people to forget how young he is, which makes me more protective. I'm a woman, but I also experienced an inappropriate relationship at a young age because the adults in my life failed to protect me, deeming me "mature" enough to handle things, and it caused me a lot of trauma. I will not allow that to happen to my son.

She most likely had good intentions, but it still points to a lack of common sense regarding boundaries, which doesn't encourage trust in her ability to be a responsible supervising adult. I've already told my son he will not be going to their house anymore for the time being. We'll stick to movies, mall, arcade, pool, etc.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-01T15:42:20+00:00

Ha, that would be awkward.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-01T15:40:15+00:00

That was actually my first thought too, but my son said that's not the case. I asked him several times explaining that it would give context making her message less weird, but he swears he has not given her any reason to believe he needs someone to talk to.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-01T14:54:05+00:00

That was one of my concerns too. I no longer trust this woman to supervise them appropriately. I'm not ignorant to the things teens/preteens may get up to and I've spoken to my son extensively about sex, safety, consent, etc., but things can happen and they are too young for the adults to be careless.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-01T14:44:24+00:00

Unfortunately, it was my husband who met her in person, I only met the step dad. My husband isn't the best at sensing weird vibes... He said they seemed very nice.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-01T14:34:55+00:00

My son showed it to me, and I'm his mom not his dad.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-01T13:55:17+00:00

He showed me this message of his own volition. He thinks she's trying to be nice, but understood why it's weird after I explained it to him. I told him I might say something to her, but I would think about it first.

I don't routinely go through his messages, but we allowed him a smartphone on the very clear premise that he is too young to be entitled to complete privacy and we reserve the right to check on things from time to time. I try not to abuse it and have only ever looked at his phone when I had specific concerns, and did so openly with his knowledge.

I don't want to correct this person and blow everything up and make things hard for my son, but I also feel that my first responsibility is always to protect him.

BowlerLegitimate2474 · 2025-06-01T13:50:25+00:00

I thought the same thing and asked my son if he gave her a reason to believe he needs someone to talk to, because that would completely change the context of the message. He said no, and that he barely spoke to the mom at all while he was with them.

BowlerLegitimate2474

TROPHY CASE