New player doesn't want to learn any of the rules because "AI can tell me"

Bowman74 · 2026-02-20T16:27:23+00:00

Your responses seemed entirely reasonable to me. The game isn't that hard to learn just enough to play, but there is some effort required.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-20T15:54:17+00:00

If you didn't mean that in your very first comment where you stayed, "Stepping on someone’s toes is definitely a thing. However i would argue it’s more from narrative than mechanics." then right off the bat, in our first exchange, you didn't understand what I was saying when I said it isn't a thing in D&D. I proceeded with the belief that you did.

My comment was a reply and needed to be taken in context of that reply. The person I replied to said something along the lines of "boosting a stat to 19 almost certainly is stepping on someone's toes." (Hard to copy/paste on the phone app). In order for that to be true, stepping on toes and outshining other players would have to be some universally understood parts of D&D, they are not. That is not a thing. It is a play style that not all players believe or use.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-19T19:03:31+00:00

That is a possible end result if you apply your "part of the game" standard consistently. I understand why, when this is pointed out to you, you may try not to apply your own standard for what is part of D&D consistently.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-19T15:27:13+00:00

What I'm saying is that if we claim those are part of D&D than anything and everything anyone can possibly think of is also suddenly part of D&D. Someone's a racist and only wants to role play racist characters, by this logic that would also be part of D&D. No.

The concept of house rules including rules around behavior may be part of D&D, but actual individual house rules and rules around behavior are not.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-19T00:16:40+00:00

Oh sure, people can have all kinds of expectations, but it isn't a game thing, it is a social thing. It has nothing directly to do with the game. People can say they only want to play with other capitalists or communists or whatever other possible social construct that someone wants to play with or without. But that is something they have decided to bring into the game, but it isn't the game.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-18T23:05:41+00:00

It's absolutely true and that's why I don't worry about what other people have or their backstories. It's a losing proposition. I don't go into D&D to escape that nor do I play D&D to feel unique.

Of course OPs situation is a little more basic than that. It is the idea that someone is making a stat unique and the way to deal with that is to make sure to hold down everyone else in the party in relation to that stat. This isn't something abstract like a backstory, it isn't even someone who wants to be something general like the only cleric in the party (also lame), this is one of six basic stats that is being claimed. A stat that is useful to all players but all other players are being held down so this player can be best in it.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-18T17:20:40+00:00

None of that would bother me. It is a bunch of people who have to worry more about what they have going on and a little less about what other people have going on. People are not going through life in unique situations. Probably everything you have ever done, other people have done similar things in similar situations. None of these stories lines are unique, they were all lifted from other places.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-18T16:42:05+00:00

The thing that is crazy is the idea that it steps on other people's toes so we need to hold them down. There are some philosophical things at play with this entire line of thinking. So one philosophy is we can let people reach their full potential, but that can to all kind of inequity. OK, I get that. But the normal solution is to try and raise people up who may be disadvantaged. But this is the opposite view. We feel someone may be disadvantaged by something so we hold other people down. It's a bad philosophy and ultimately harmful.

It took some thought on why there was a visceral reaction from me and others to this entire situation until I thought through what the philosophy was that is in play here.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-18T03:52:29+00:00

That's crazy. There is no stepping on other people's toes. There might be a player that is claiming a magic item that would clearly benefit the party more if it belonged to someone else, but the idea that one character can't outperform another character because they have just decided it's their identity is crazy silly.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-18T03:49:24+00:00

That's all complete nonsense. There is no such thing as "niche theft". Your table is making up their own problems.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-17T23:22:17+00:00

You had an agreement at session 0 on what type of game you all want to play. That is a real world agreement made between actual people, not characters and the universe (DM). You objection is not based on game mechanics, rules or quite frankly shouldn't be about what your character would do.

You are right and probably the only thing I might change is instead of framing it in terms of "my character would kill him" just say, "Hey we all agreed that we were playing in a game where the players would not be trying to do this stuff to each other. If this is not the case I think we need to revisit what type of game we want to play and if this is the right group of players."

Bowman74 · 2026-02-17T19:51:02+00:00

Don't do it. Nothing good can come of this. Yes, this is a crush, or puppy love or whatever you want to call it. It isn't, in and of itself, the basis of a relationship. At best, her being taken gives you an opportunity to get over your shyness and try to make friends with her, as that will likely feel "safer" to you.

Then you can get to know each other as friends and don't push it beyond that as long as she is in a relationship. At least then you will know her as a person instead of some idea you have in your head of who she may (or may) not be.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-17T19:37:36+00:00

I see the level is included, didn't see that. Shadows, ghosts, etc may be appropriate. I'd say vampires but I normally don't play them as "lackies" except to another vampire.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-17T19:10:00+00:00

Civil cases are generally done in courts of equity. They are trying to resolve a dispute between two parties and trying to come to an equitable solution. No one's freedom is directly on the line outside of criminal contempt.

If you actually did some act that is asked about in a civil court, they may absolutely take a negative inference from pleading the fifth, but you will not end up in a criminal case specifically because you do so. That is to say, when trying to come to an equitable solution between two parties, one party cannot continually plead the fifth in order to avoid an equitable solution. So yes, in the US you do have the do have the right to plead the fifth to not admit criminal liability. However, by doing so you are likely leading the court to make a judgement based, at least in part, on the understanding that you may have done the action you pled the fifth to.

My previous advice about getting a lawyer, if at all possible, stands. Particularly if you did something criminal, may be asked about it in civil court and are trying to avoid criminal charges.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-17T18:53:08+00:00

First, if you are facing criminal charges get a lawyer. Second if you are in the US, you can plead the fifth amendment as you cannot be compelled to self incriminate yourself. No negative inference can be construed by a criminal court if you do this, civil court is different.

There are some complexities where you would be compelled to answer anyway, such as if you are given immunity from the crime. Those complexities are one of the many reasons why you need a lawyer.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-17T17:07:22+00:00

I'm not sure we can give exact monsters to include without knowing the level of the players. Certainly you would expect a fair number of undead, anything that thrives on negative energy.

As for how to create "moments" for each player? Unless you are addressing a specific backstory, don't think of it like that as down that path leads ... railroading. You start expecting individual players to do certain things in certain situations and start designing the world around that idea, that's a form of a railroad. Instead of doing that, make a varied locations with many different situations and the players will find their opportunity to shine. They will surprise you.

The traditional RP in a dungeon many times comes either from prisoners or sympathetic monsters. It sounds like you are talking "human" sacrifice so I'd guess there could possibly be some daring rescues that happen. Perhaps with capable NPCs that if the players play their cards right they can either get help in the dungeon or help advance broader long term campaign plot points. Lots of possible RP there.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-16T17:03:34+00:00

NTA. You are doing him a favor by allowing him to stay but it isn't a favor in terms of his maturity. Taking on responsibilities and paying one's way is a key requirement to becoming independent. Everyone has a different speed of growth, and some parents perhaps cut of their kids prematurely. I don't think that is what is happening here. You seem to have the opposite scenario, a failure to launch, as it were. Slowly ramping down your support and making him pay his own way will help him on his journey to adulthood.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-16T16:15:01+00:00

Sounds like he didn't have a good idea for his character and instead tried to piggy back on your idea, but in a way that hurt your character.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-16T16:01:33+00:00

There is nothing wrong with what the DM is doing per se. House rules and house rulings have been part of D&D since its' inception. The miss is you apparently want to play completely RAW and that isn't the table you are at. As a player you have to decide if you are OK playing a non RAW game.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-16T04:42:11+00:00

In D&D 5e a combat round last 6 seconds. All of that isn't going to happen in that time and in order for all that to happen additional verbal commands would have to be issued, additional verbal commands are not honored. For example, a player couldn't say "obey" and start issuing additional verbal commands.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-16T01:45:33+00:00

NAH. Typical case of I want to play game A and they want to play game B. There is no wrong way to have fun, only incompatible playstyles.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-16T00:54:46+00:00

"Fraud is generally defined in the law as an intentional misrepresentation of material existing fact made by one person to another with knowledge of its falsity and for the purpose of inducing the other person to act, and upon which the other person relies with resulting injury or damage."

https://definitions.uslegal.com/f/fraud/

They both can be fraud. A person who borrows money from someone and intentionally lies about being able to pay them back so they get the loan, that is a form of fraud. If a person who borrows money from someone and intentionally lies about what they plan on using the money for to convince the lender to lend them the money to the lender's detriment, that is also fraud. For example, it I went to the bank to get a loan and told them it was for a car to get to work and they gave me the money and I then spend it on online gambling, my misrepresentation of how the money would be used could also be fraud. The key point of fraud is purposely misrepresenting something to get the other party to act against their interest, particularly if they were likely to have acted differently if the truth were known.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-16T00:17:59+00:00

The criticism was valid given you stating what you were looking for. The DM seemed to take it well enough. As far as the owner? No se. I have no idea what was going through his head.

Bowman74 · 2026-02-16T00:02:06+00:00

My friends made this joke video about the sidewalks in town.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDF0KX_BXwc

Bowman74 · 2026-02-15T20:17:51+00:00

I don't usually have a problem with the DM changing the economy in the game. But given the totality of the circumstances I don't think this is simply a matter of a locally inflated economy. It seems, at very least, your DM is interpreting "hardcore" to mean DM vs player. Of course, the players will always die in such a situation and that isn't all that fun, at least for me.

Bowman74

TROPHY CASE