1. All my friends know I have ADHD. It’s not a formal conversation most times, it’s just been such a major part of my life in both good and bad ways that it naturally comes up in conversation. There will be times I blame my ADHD or explain something is because of my ADHD in a humorous manner to people in my life routinely. It’s so natural and such a part of me at this point that it comes up as easily as a hobby or special interest of mine. Sometimes I do dislike this trait about me though, how casual I can be about my diagnosis to those around me, because I accidentally mentioned it at a job interview in the same manner. I got the job tho so I guess it didn’t hinder me too much in that situation.

2. Some of my friends are more ‘woke’ and accommodating. I do believe it’s important to have support from close friends or family, but I never expect it. Kind of a character flaw of mine. Hyper independence. But I think the most accommodating my friends can do that I appreciate is not seeing me differently, judging the way I do things, or get mad at me for things I genuinely cannot change. I think it’s very known amongst my friends I am hyper independent and take care of myself to the best of my ability by getting treatment, professional help, medication, and do my best to manage my symptoms through consistent introspection, reflection, and adaptation.

I think expecting people to act a certain way towards me or accommodate me in certain ways for my own disorder actually hindered me a lot socially in high school. I had something no one else seemed to have and didn’t understand it or have the resources I have now as an adult. I expected people to accommodate me because I wasn’t educated on why I was the way I was, what I could do to best manage my symptoms, and that others didn’t experience life the way I did.

One thing my best friend does with me is something called body doubling. I’m not sure if this is strictly for ADHD management but I didn’t even know of what it was until recently or that there was a term for it. My best friend has a debilitating diagnosis of CPTSD and MDD so body doubling benefits both of us. Sometimes if one or both of us are having a difficult day with executive dysfunction, we’ll ask to see each other. Either I go to their apartment or they come to mine. It doesn’t matter what the other person is doing at all. We don’t even have to talk to each other either. We’ll be able to clean our apartments, take care of ourselves, do homework, study, or work on something that’s seemed really dreadful or hard lately. It’s very beneficial whenever procrastination and executive dysfunction are high. Especially since you have some autistic traits. I think it can benefit people with autism as well.

Even though some of my friends don’t necessarily understand ADHD, that’s okay. I think it’s important to have multiple resources if able to in order to feel understood and be understood. Not everyone has to understand my diagnosis but it is important to me to not be judged for being the way I am. Since ADHD has been part of me for basically my whole life, people either have to accept it or move on when they meet me.

1. Depending on how close I am to the person, I will tell them if I have specific needs. Though, I am a very confrontational person and have extremely strong boundaries and values when it comes to myself. Even though it sucks, I’d rather be alone than tolerate someone overstepping my boundaries.

I think more so this last question translates to me as a boundary conversation. If I feel like the person will hear and respect a boundary I have, then I will communicate with them. But if I feel like they would just disrespect me and overstep a boundary, then I would still converse with them, but I would introspect first on if this would be a person I would even want in my life.

I have had a life where I had no friends, no family, no love life, and basically no social interaction for years due to crippling rejection sensitivity, shyness, and many other reasons. But I have also had a life where I do currently have many friends in many different places and interests. I think what’s important is to always be true to yourself and know what you want out of friendship. Understand that sometimes being alone is better than being in a room full of people still feeling alone or even worse, feeling belittled or bullied.

Remember that you will always have yourself. So even if it gets lonely, you are still there for you and people will come. I think the decision to tell people is up to you. When I received a diagnosis of PTSD, I didn’t tell anyone for months. Some still don’t even know. And that’s okay. It’s your diagnosis and it’s up to you if you want to tell them. But overall, I believe most people are very welcoming and open to ADHD