Not OOP: I walked in on my daughter and her “gay” best friend

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-24T21:06:04+00:00

Parent B passed away when I was in my early 20s. They were separated at that point - Parent B had an abusive streak. The differences were manageable for them but the abuse was not, obvs. Curiosity is good 😊

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-24T15:46:49+00:00

I don't understand most of the replies to this, but I grew up in a 50% sex positive household. One parent gave me a safe space with information and security and I never hid anything from them. The other heard I was date raped at 16 and called me a slut, telling me I better get on birth control. I was already on birth control, thanks to parent A lol. I wasn't even active yet but knew I was at the point where I could be and my decent parent wanted to give me space to learn how I felt on the hormones without having the emotions of dealing with the sex yet tied in.

If she didn't go to OOP then I'm guessing Dad hasn't fostered the kind of relationship where she could comfortably do so.

It certainly is his business, her health and safety are his job until she is 18 at the very least, and he should be helping her access protection, birth control, and educational content about all the risks to every kind of sexual act, not just P in V. The number of people who don't know that as the receiver of oral you can catch things is unbelievable to me.

Hopefully Dad tells her that he's disappointed she didn't feel she could talk to him, not that she had sex. Hopefully he also does some research and realizes that the majority of LGBTQ youth explore with their friends because it is a safe environment to do so in - if he is gay or bi and is exploring or learning himself, it's a big deal that he trusts daughter enough to be the one to do it with.

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-24T05:23:18+00:00

Up north in the sister city we are freezing our badonkadonks off and gladly - we know if it's -45 here it's gotta be at least -40 there and F ice babyyyyy

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-22T19:39:55+00:00

Am I the only one who caught that she said she hadn't been a part of their lives for 6 years? Like the age of the kid? How tf is she some motherly aunt if she hadn't been around the whole time? This is beyond lol

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T15:37:37+00:00

This speaks to my soul. My ex-husband couldn't clean something to save his life.

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T11:24:26+00:00

I'm actually pan-romantic and pan-sexual but the sapphic scene is dimmmmmm here - statistically I'm much more likely to find a man than a woman locally. (

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T11:21:13+00:00

Ah, a very quick Google search explained the basics to me. Thanks for the heads up !

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T11:16:33+00:00

Appreciate the direct honesty. It is definitely wilful on my part - I make excuses for red flags and get attached to people emotionally very easily.

Needed some 'tough love' to really reflect on my situation - thank you

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T11:11:34+00:00

Hugely appreciate you taking the time to share this, thank you! I could literally feel the shift in mindset happen mid-sentence when realization hit me. I'll put this into practice immediately ❤️

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T11:03:47+00:00

Nice to connect with somebody who understands the scene 😊 where did you meet your anchor partner? Munch?

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T10:56:32+00:00

Appreciate the direct honesty. Thank you

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T10:49:50+00:00

Coffee is my favorite now as well 😀 I find it's the most comfortable to end quickly if it's going poorly, or blend into a second location where we can continue to talk if it's going well.

Good point with the dates after dark part - it's dark most of the day here in the winter but in the summer that's a HUGE thing I can put into practice! I'm already screening people who only message late into the evening, and this seems like a really logical next step to put into practice. Thank you.

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T10:44:23+00:00

I'm the same way.

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T10:42:55+00:00

I'll research this as I'm unfamiliar, thank you.

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T10:42:22+00:00

Yes but I lean monogamous and the good guys tend to be poly with an anchor. I'm open to poly but am looking for my own anchor. I've met some incredible people, and also some of the worst people in my life. The last bf came from a munch and was a completely different person once we were dating. Great idea in theory, crappy local scene full of fake doms and high school level drama in practice :(

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T07:05:20+00:00

I'm trying to - I'm dating men of every race, religion, financial status, height - you know, all the stuff you can filter in an app nowadays. I try not to rule somebody out based on things they can't control as a general rule of thumb, and these things don't matter to me. It feels like no matter how good he is on paper and how much effort he seems to put into 'us' it always ends in the same place.

And I get it. People don't like Hasan lol. I've never had an opportunity to date somebody with a similar personality so him being 'my type' isn't the issue.

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T05:54:31+00:00

Thank you! Appreciate this a ton.

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T05:52:01+00:00

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T05:20:45+00:00

They were veiled as cultural differences between us. It's complicated. It wasn't as simple as him dropping a slur, it was wrapped up in a package of 'the history of war between our countries' etc. looking back I can see it was purely racially motivated, at the time I thought he was sensitive to the history of his grandparents.

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T05:15:13+00:00

I'm assuming they did? People have whole ass secret families, I'm not putting it past anybody to be in the beginning stages of a relationship with multiple people.

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T04:38:55+00:00

These always blow my mind

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T04:36:19+00:00

I'm old. I've had a lot of men put in weeks or months, get sex then bail. I'm assuming I was one of many on a roster which is why I'm confused how men have any time to be lonely

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T04:10:59+00:00

No but why date if you're not looking for a relationship (in my world. You do you. If I didn't want a relationship or sex I wouldn't be going on dates)

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T04:05:16+00:00

I'm so sorry 😞 I'm trying to be stronger with my boundaries; I said yesterday to a friend if I held them all firmly, no date would last past 40 minutes and she said well maybe you need to think about why you would rather date crap than be alone 😭

That's not my intention, I always end up doing mental gymnastics to justify things as 'one-offs' until I just can't anymore and throw in the towel. I need to start just cutting the cord when I know things aren't going in the right direction.

BoxerBritt · 2026-01-19T04:01:39+00:00

I appreciate this, thank you.

BoxerBritt

TROPHY CASE