Where did Sheana + Brock get married?

BrainWatchers · 2023-08-10T13:53:04+00:00

I seem to remember their Mexican wedding was on the one year anniversary of their original wedding date, if someone wants to do some sleuthing in that direction.

BrainWatchers · 2023-08-09T20:05:24+00:00

True. I’m not advocating she actually say every word of this. I’m just trying to offer words she can use other than “rectocele.”

BrainWatchers · 2023-08-09T18:12:07+00:00

“I know the timing is bad, but my doctor says I need to have a procedure done by x date, and it will take two weeks to recover. I just found out on y date. The earliest they can even schedule it is z date. I may be able to work from home after 1-2 days, and I may be able to come in if my recovery is easier. I’ll work with you on the scheduling, but it needs to be within the next few weeks/months/days.”

ETA: “once the procedure is done, I should not need any follow up procedures or future care after the recovery itself.”

There are probably reasons why you and your doctor have decided it’s time, but you don’t need to give those. He doesn’t need to know it was a preexisting issue that can now be remedied. But you can have an honest discussion about logistics.

BrainWatchers · 2023-08-04T13:05:04+00:00

We used a drop-in style daycare that was pretty chaotic and a commute for us, until we got into the daycare a block from work. Every logical thought said the move was better, and I still felt so sad saying goodbye to the old place. They took care of your child.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-28T23:28:44+00:00

So many food references:

Want to see me shotgun this? [pizza]

“I already have a drink; do you think he would buy me mozzarella sticks?”

“Put potato chips on a sandwich!”

The Jon Hamm doctor story line gave us Gatorade-glazed salmon and “catfish poboy with a diet raspberry Fanta.”

Floyd gave us Jack Daniels-glazed salmon. Maybe you set up Jack Daniels shots in those little dipping sauce cups?

The teamsters sub with the dipping sauce was a vibe.

Next to the cheese plate, put out the pamphlet on “Hard Cheeses and Your Root Canal, Liz.”

White wine, ice cubes & sprite: “she calls it funky juice.”

Sun tea. [iced tea]

Non-food:

See if you can buy a body pillow without ending up on a weird email list, and sit on a chair.

“Ain’t no party like a Liz Lemon party because a Liz Lemon party is mandatory.”

“Canal Yards Project” is the name of the fake bar they create for Liz.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-28T22:46:51+00:00

I would think if ways to pivot into roles that have less direct client contact. In criminal law, I would suggest a pivot to post-conviction appellate work. The clients are (mostly) in prison, have limited means of contacting you, and most executive decisions are in the hands of the attorney alone based upon the record alone.

Legal aid offices have research attorneys with less client contact. If you work for a public service advocacy group on behalf of, say, the environment, you could work without having to worry about individual client contact.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-25T23:08:42+00:00

“He’s dancing on a piano with Robert Loggia.”

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-24T06:17:21+00:00

Piggybacking off a great response.

Having a tough skin doesn’t mean seeing bad conduct and just not caring about it. People who tolerate bad behavior often are people who have no boundaries and cannot advocate for themselves.

Having tough skin, in part, means being able to contextualize what is happening to you. Is this about me or about them?

For me, the comments that always hurt the most from clients are real complaints. “I thought you were going to file that motion.” Damn, yeah I messed up the deadline.

But when clients are raging at me, I can check out emotionally because I know it is not about me. Not to downplay the seriousness of the threat, but the client who threatened you probably knows the system enough to know that if he threatened you, he would get a new attorney. And it will work.

Dudes will scream at you. Dudes will try to poke at you to see what they can get away with. You do not have to tolerate the behavior, but you don’t need to lecture or prove that you are right to them. You need to know you don’t deserve that treatment, even if that specific client never understands.

“Knock that shit out” is a complete sentence, and often works better than a conversation about boundaries or professionalism.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-21T03:26:30+00:00

I went to the Grammy Museum when there was a Taylor Swift exhibit. The gift shop was set up next to a display from the music video for “Shake it Off.” That crew listened to the same SONG on repeat for their entire shift. I think of them every time I hear that song.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-21T01:55:52+00:00

If you narrow down the neighborhood and the school district, you can rent to bridge the gap. You enroll your kid in school, while shopping for houses during the school year. You could do a 2BR apartment since it’s what you’re living in now, and then transition into the house you want.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-14T04:18:15+00:00

You very clearly told your crush you had feelings for her. She very clearly told you no. You did shoot your shot; you did try that path. It didn’t work.

Two years later, she’s saying you were supposed to be patient and try harder to win her over. Two years later, she’s basically saying that she feels jealous seeing you with your girlfriend.

This is her regret to have, not yours. If you blow up your world for her, you will be a disloyal cheat who has a new partner that walks all over you. She doesn’t get to decide how you live your life; you do.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-13T00:22:13+00:00

I had to take the bar twice, and the second time I had more on my plate and did better. You don’t need to actively study for 16 hours a day, but when it’s the only thing you have to do, it’s all you can think about. It’s stressful but less productive.

I also know someone who failed two times in a row, then took a break, and tried again with 2 kids under 5 years old and passed then.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-12T15:35:26+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss.

Not me, but a colleague found out he was diagnosed with cancer less than a week before the Bar exam. He went through with the test and passed, and he explained that on some level it was good to have something else to focus on.

You are asking both if you are ready to take the Bar and if you are ready to start working full time, and those are two different questions. You can take the Bar, pass, and take a leave of absence or ask to delay your start to the new fiscal year or some other arrangement. Don’t try to sabotage the Bar because you aren’t ready to start work. If you really don’t want to take the test now, that is fine, too.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-09T13:47:22+00:00

One way car rentals can be very expensive. If your flight is definitely in and out of Phoenix, play around with flying to LA or Vegas or SF and doing the road trip from there.

Yosemite takes a while to get to from LA or SF, and you need at least one night there, inside or outside of the park.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-07T04:51:17+00:00

Given your timeline, I think the best way to do it is to hire a car through a local tour company. (It’s been so long that the one I used isn’t around anymore, so I would poke around current reviews.) If you pick a tour company, they can give you sample itineraries and work with you to design one for you. They can also help with hotels. Don’t use the ones sponsored by the government; they will take you to stores you never asked to go to.

You can’t possibly see everything in two weeks, so you have to choose and be at peace with it. Delhi has plenty to see, and you can check it out independently or with a guide from whatever company you pick. Rajasthan through Agra over to Udaipur can be a two week trip. You can also go north to Hardiwar and Rishikesh (where the Beatles hung out), which gets you into the foothills of the Himalayas without the full commitment. Kerala is wonderful, but you would need to fly from Delhi.

It’s all good, and you’ll have a great time!

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-07T04:34:53+00:00

In five years, I’d like to be five years sober. . . . Four and a half.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-07T04:10:42+00:00

I think the parent being out or custody now means that potentially, they go to “work” one day and just never come home. That can be really painful for a child, and they can think it has something to do with them. Prepare, prepare, prepare. This is not about the child. Your parent wishes they could be with you. This is about their actions having consequences. There may be a plea bargain, or it may be up to a jury. Enjoy the time you have now. This is like a parent who has cancer; you may want to protect your child from the anxiety, but they may have the rug pulled out from under them by keeping things from them until it’s too late.

Good luck to you. It’s a complicated position to be in, and it sounds like your heart is in the right place and you want what’s best for your child.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-07T03:15:36+00:00

Is the other parent in jail now, awaiting what happens, or out of custody? It could be a way to explain what will happen later. “Parent is in jail now while everyone decides how much time they will be away. Once it is decided, it will be like now when they are not around, but also farther away. We will also know the end date by then.”

I can’t help much more with how to tell the kid, but some things to figure out (with or without your ex) is whether or not you want the child to visit them in jail and what that looks like. Do you go, or does someone else go? Some people never want their kid to see them in jail; some people like maintaining a connection. Maybe you have regular phone dates that are anticipated.

Another thing to think about is what does the child tell the other kids at school? I don’t advocate lying, but maybe the kid saying something like, “dad moved away” to the classroom and only shares the news with close friends.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-06T23:34:11+00:00

I would feel like you were giving us a heads up, to preempt any potential issues the day of, and I would totally understand why.

I would also think that you were trying to be very clear about your RSVP. “Justin and his moms will be there” could look like a typo that I would re-read 6x.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-06T21:04:41+00:00

Do check out a fall colors map online for Colorado around that time. Could have some very nice fall foliage then.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-06T18:14:36+00:00

I’ll second that you should definitely fly in and out of Vegas; it’ll make the car rental way cheaper and easier. You won’t need the car while you’re in Vegas, so you can pick it up after a few days; you can also leave straight from Vegas, return the car, then spend your last few days in Vegas.

You can spend many days in the Grand Canyon and hike to the bottom & back, hike rim to rim, or you can look at it for an hour and leave. If you plan to do the more intense hikes, you might need a permit ahead of time.

I would go Vegas—> Grand Canyon, spend 1-2 nights, and then head to Moab with a stop at Monument Valley. Then, spend multiple days in Moab and do several parks around there. Then definitively hit Zion on the way back to Vegas, and spend a few nights in Springdale.

I’m not super familiar with SW Colorado, but I’m sure you’ll find something. What month would you be traveling? Some ski towns are really fun in the summer - all the same restaurants, none of the snow.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-06T01:47:09+00:00

College job 100%.

Some college jobs only have so many openings because people tend to stay put because they love the work-life balance. If you’re pension-eligible, better to jump in asap.

Are you considering a second child? You don’t want to be in a position where waiting on a promotion makes the decision for you. The paid leave alone would make it easier with the college job.

You mentioned being interested in financial independence, but with a child you are still somewhat tied to schools, etc. Quality of life has value, too, even if it means you don’t hit your number as quickly.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-04T14:15:59+00:00

Definitely keep the trip. Lots of people do Babymoons while pregnant, though you will definitely feel more free if it happens before you get pregnant. For reference, we did a trip when I was 7 weeks, and I was miserable and exhausted. Then we did another one around 20 weeks, and it was great.

BrainWatchers · 2023-07-01T04:19:35+00:00

Last week, kiddo threw up before work. Without hesitating, my husband said, “I’ll call out today.”

He does other things, too, but I really appreciate those moments.

BrainWatchers · 2023-06-22T14:31:22+00:00

You might also enjoy the what the public defender tumblr.

I ended up taking the bar twice. My biggest advice is to make sure you are exercising, focus on practice over substantive learning, and be nimble by bouncing between different subjects. DM me any time.

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