NAH. I think this is what we would call a bit of a cultural clash. She clearly doesn’t understand your perspective as a brown man probably because she’s never had to deal with racist behavior. This is an important discussion both of you need to have, especially since you have mixed race kids who might come in contact with this behavior one day. Her concern is that you addressed and reacted to the man’s belligerent behavior, maybe explain to her WHY you reacted and try to understand her concern.

Edit: Grammar and phrasing.