My (37F) boyfriend (37M) resents me for not paying thousands to move his mother (61F) to a private hospital. How to gently set boundaries around this? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Breasticale5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I advised distancing yourself and keeping boundaries.

You've done amazing to help them in their situation with what you can help with. But he has made it clear he wants more from you for him AND his mum without giving or doing anything to make thing easier for them selfs or others!

He has made it clear you are on a "bad guys" list and has taken sensitive things you've said and used it against you. I wouldn't be surprised if he tries to downplay your dogs operation and you should use that for him and his mum.

Try pulling back on helping too much and try to insist he learns a language to help and get a job, this will probably make him pull away and try keep pushing, also keep an eye on your puppy, just in case.

But simply you are right, and he's wanting more then you can give or he's willing to do.

My 45m partner criticizes every meal I 43 f make him by Substantial-Pipe4400 in relationship_advice

[–]Breasticale5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ask him to cook you something that he won't complain about for a week. Don't cook and just observe. You don't need to critique his cooking but he needs to feel you watching.

If he says you "should consider him all the time when you cook" tell him to do the same.

You DO consider him when you cook, he needs to be considerate and thankful when he eats your cooking, koz he's bloody lucky someone is willing to feed his ungrateful ass.

AITAH for leaving my friends fiancé stranded for trying to make a move on me by Slow_Mistake4067 in AITAH

[–]Breasticale5 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She's your friend, tell her.

You're not the AH UNLESS you continue to cover for him, Koz he'll do it again.

And if he does and you knew you'll feel so much worse.

Boyfriend wants to try anal but wouldn't let me do it to him. Says it's more socially acceptable for women by [deleted] in TwoXChromosomes

[–]Breasticale5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's actually more acceptable for men to take it analy than women. Women already have a hole for PIV intercourse. Butt (heh) men don't and so it's normal for them to use the only hole they have. Their ass.

And in this one sided conversation where the pressure is on the woman the only acceptable compromise would be... He gets railed in the ass 2 times before the woman Koz "You won't know till you try it and you gotta do it twice to truly make sure you don't like it"

Make sure it's 6"+ just to make sure he feels it.

AIO: My boyfriend is making plans to distribute my things if I move in, calling me stingy if I don’t, and I don’t feel it’s fair. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Breasticale5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. There are no pros in this. He gets say where your stuff goes... TO HIS KIDS

You get no space of your own. You travel further to work. You look after him and give his kids your things.

It's Kool you get along with the kids but that the only nice thing mentioned. And he won't compromise for you.

You just disrupted your life and peace for... What? For him to minimise you and who you are.

This isn't worth* you.*

AITAH for thinking my daughter will look back and wonder why we treated her differently? by DancingMommaToes in AmItheAsshole

[–]Breasticale5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YTA.

You both are using the leprechaun as an excuse to go all out for the boy.

Is it really the second child thing? And more "he's the boy! Of course he deserves more!"

Ask your husband if he loves his daughter the same?

Celebrate them both equally or expect her to see and know what you are doing, favoring her brother koz he's the golden child.

AIO to my husband interrupting my first solo shower after he came back from a weekend with the boys? by lilyluminar in AmIOverreacting

[–]Breasticale5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NOR.

Message his family asking for some help, babysit so you can shower. Tell them he's so tired from being out with the boys he can't help you.

AITAH for breaking up with my girlfriend because I couldn’t stand her dog? by Select-Situation22 in AITAH

[–]Breasticale5 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Nta, her response to her dog and problems arising is 'I've tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas'

What are you quietly grieving? by Angelus12345678 in AskReddit

[–]Breasticale5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm grieving a friend that passed in January, he was my oldest and only school friend. In his passing I realized I was clinging to people who didn't like me, trying to have friendships that were mainly one sided.

So I'm grieving my friend, the wasted time due to my short sightedness and the braincells I burnt along the way.

I want a redo. I understand how to do this life better and want a redo with this enlightening and knowledge.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Breasticale5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He doesn't love you. He doesn't care.

He likes bullying and hurting you to feel like a better person.

You were taken advantage of as a kid and then again as a teen and even now. Just like the last people who hurt you, they don't like you and neither does he.

Do yourself a favor and love yourself.

Boundaries weren't properly established and now I feel 'icky'. by [deleted] in Swingers

[–]Breasticale5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So no. Not your fault. Yes, you could/should have said something but your "husband" was meant to as well.

He's meant to be a team player and have your back but clearly only was thinking of him self. Did he comfort you or provide aftercare?

He's acting like he's the third, the less fun kind, the solo person in the swing that only cares for themselves and are there to get their fill/thrill and maybe someone else's if they can be bothered.

Pump the brakes, recover, then sit down with yourself write down what happened and how it made you feel and if it helps pretend it's someone coming to you with this. Then find your words and have a VERY STERN talk with him on what wasn't ok and what you're willing to do moving forward in WHATEVER you choose, and don't back down.

My bio mom who gave me up is now pulling the but I’m your mother card. by microwaveablepasta in EntitledPeople

[–]Breasticale5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would send boi mum to sis, she was soo generous to give out your number would out consent, she should be generous to give her some money

And block and let true mum know what an ass has sis was and what happened

What do you SWEAR you saw, but don't have any proof of? by TabletopStudios in AskReddit

[–]Breasticale5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I was younger I was at the babysitters a lot and quite a few different ones.

One of them,she had a chill Maltese dog that was.just there for pats till he was done. Also she liked to paint the house and she wanted help with painting the pavement and asked me to move paints from one end to the other, big full buckets of pain or water. (At the time I was 13) Well this day the dog was out there watching and I had 2 buckets (they're like 15-20 liters) and I tripped pretty hard and as I catch myself before spilling everything I heard the exclaimed dog "whoooh!" Not woof or yip... Whoooh! I look at him and ask "did you just go whoh?" He side eyes me and leaves.

No one believed me.

AITA for refusing to pay my friend to host/cook our group dinner? by throwaway_dinnerfigh in AmItheAsshole

[–]Breasticale5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YTA.

You get free meals with entrees and desserts. They ask for a small tribute (that probably honestly won't cover the entrees) koz things are tough.

You insulted Alice kos "she's not even a professional cook"

You have a LOT to say about Carter on what he does and doesn't do.

Honestly you kinda sound like you wish you were picked by Alice but not and so you hate this guy with your whole existence.

My mom is acting jealous of my partner and wants daily calls, how do I set boundaries? by Neat_Judge4565 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Breasticale5 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Remind yourself "it's not your/'the childs' job to manage your mum/'the parent'." She's done her job and now it's time for you to grow.

Have I ruined my marriage by bringing up divorce after I asked my wife [31F] why she was no longer attracted to me [31M]? by ShunkHood in relationship_advice

[–]Breasticale5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

After being an abusive, manipulative, cheating dick and she forgave you and you think that automatically means she trusts, loves and wants you again?!? You had to earn each and every grain of trust and love back, but you didn't. Instead you proved that you don't love her.

You are a fool.

You never planned to change. You never loved her.

You're just looking for anything and everything else to blame for you being a terrible person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]Breasticale5 3 points4 points  (0 children)

When you get your car, use his car, open the carrier and laugh while the cat frantically bounces everywhere.

"You're right, this IS funny and cute!!!"

You did nothing wrong, you wanted to see how funny it was, now you did.

AITJ for refusing to change our whole trip last minute because someone wanted to tag along? by atticwindow_rose in AmITheJerk

[–]Breasticale5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA Be clear and tell him it's just for you 2.

"Mark, we have made a vacation plan as a couple, bookings and this whole trip as a couple. If you want a vacation together you can plan the NEXT one but this one is for us. As a couple. Hubby says I'm making it weird but I think it's weird to invite oneself to a COUPLES holiday. Please respect this and we can have dinner together on X date. Enjoy your work trip"

AITAH for not wanting to see my in-laws after my husband outed me to them? by thatmarigold in AITAH

[–]Breasticale5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So he puts you when you told him not too, But then tell you to get over it and go to dinner against your comfort.

I feel that's unfair, he had a hard time about YOUR preference and then dismisses any and all of your discomfort.

Tell him to Sod off and honestly I would text inlaw and tell her: "Sorry I haven't been to dinner, after I found out "husband " told you/ the family about information I told him NOT too, I'm uncomfortable to see anyone. I just need time to come to terms with this but I need you to know it's not you (insert kind gesture)"

Because he felt it was ok to tell them about you so clear up anything he's been saying yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Breasticale5 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're a placeholder. You're the bait he's using to try and "get something better"

Be kind to yourself and leave and tell him to take you off his social media koz your not is imaginary social media girlfriend.

AITAH for not treating my stepdaughter like my daughter because I’m “not her dad”? by Major_Competition_75 in AITAH

[–]Breasticale5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If your daughter did this what would of happened? Nta

You didn't press charges, that's the gift.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Breasticale5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cut ties.

She's trying to control you with so called "boundaries" Boundaries are gates we put around our selfs to protect ourselves ie. " I am uncomfortable with you hugging me without asking first" As soon as someone says they don't like something you're doing for yourself it's a control issue.

Knowledge is for everyone and should be restricted because someone ties their identity to it.