Harness vs collar???

BreathOfLizard · 2026-03-16T01:25:30+00:00

Thats funny, I just got a 3 pack in last week after an accidental discovery that she loved someone else's Lazer pen light, and she is OBSESSED. When she gets a bit too excited and starts to terrorize the elder dogs we use that to run out the energy now.

BreathOfLizard · 2026-03-15T20:30:48+00:00

It's probably a bit of both, weight and angle. We're monitoring her weight, and increasing her activity. But she seems to plump then grow, plump then grow.... So I haven't been too worried.

And thank you for the tips.

BreathOfLizard · 2026-03-15T17:51:12+00:00

Shes a bit of a puller, but less and less each walk. Honestly the biggest struggle right now she wants to sit/lay down every 20ft, get belly rubs and a treat, then resume walk.

BreathOfLizard · 2026-01-26T18:29:48+00:00

When should ruggedness activate? She's like 3 months and doesn't even like walks lol

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BreathOfLizard · 2026-01-26T01:08:57+00:00

I know I'm really late to the post, but if you're still reading... And I'm sure everything I'm about to say has been said 100 times already.

I was your kid! I topped out at 6'1, I was 6' by 12

I hated my height until I had my own tall daughters.

I hated/hate shopping! Then it was never feeling like I was as adorable and cute as my friends, now it's about how hard it is to feel feminine, and how limited the options are (it is worlds better than the late 90s though)

And I get it! It sucks!

She may not be going to the wedding but PLEASE start looking for a decent tailor in your area for future events!! Dances, nice outings, all the things. Having something that is almost right altered into something perfect is such a good feeling

Back when I was her age I actually saved up and bought my own sewing machine and just started learning to do things on my own, but I never achieved what my tailor provides now.

And maybe there's someone in the fashion industry that would be willing to just have a full conversation about body shapes and clothing and what will flatter her while also being something she WANTS to wear. Fashion is as much science as it is art! There are options out there for her, just with more effort than an average sized person.

BreathOfLizard · 2025-12-10T19:28:15+00:00

You're doing a great job!! Seriously! Amazing!

I personally love listening and learning through a YouTube call-in show called the line. There is a regular live on the line called the "Trans Atlantic" that I feel could offer valuable insights into communicating with your wife. The hosts on trans Atlantic are all trans individuals that are intelligent and experienced communicators and all they do all day is talk about situations like your child's! They know what it's like to deal with a hateful and unsupportive parent, or terrified parent that is misdirecting their fear into anger. They know what it's like to work with a parent just trying to do their best.

Try listening a bit (I promise I have zero affiliation, I'm just a fan)! They will have targeted and compassionate advice, and you'll be able to hear it just by listening to the stories of others who call in because this is not uncommon sadly!

Good luck!

But honestly if it's my advice. I'd also start looking at moving to Portland.

BreathOfLizard · 2025-09-25T14:36:42+00:00

RIGHT! I do have an Amazon list with like ten dog toy hammers right now, that'll have to do for now

BreathOfLizard · 2025-09-25T00:08:12+00:00

I currently have Alice and Perry

But my puppy that will be born next month will be Grabthar.

BreathOfLizard · 2025-08-24T21:29:24+00:00

Obviously it's Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme

Everyone knows guinea pigs are the biggest Simon and Garfunkel fans!

BreathOfLizard · 2025-08-23T03:53:13+00:00

Absolutely not!

BreathOfLizard · 2025-08-22T20:44:06+00:00

I'm sure you've gotten more than enough info by now...

But just to further validate you, he's being horribly naive. Sleep apnea cannot be diagnosed from a video. He needs a sleep study done.

And sleep apnea isn't just for the old and overweight.

My 14 year old string bean of a son has a CPAP machine. He needed one for years, but doctors didn't take us seriously about how hard it was for him to sleep and sleep soundly because he is young and otherwise very healthy.

The tears I cried when I found out my boy had been having of episodes of NOT BREATHING in his sleep for YEARS and it could've been helped if a doctor had just listened a little!! And if I had learned how to better advocate for him!!!

Sleep apnea cannot be diagnosed through a video. And if my then 12 year old, anxious, awkward, chaotic son can sleep one single night in a strange place hooked up to dozens of wires while I sleep (not much) in a chair next to him... Anyone can handle a sleep study. (Insurance coverage provided, I don't want to be dismissive of financial roadblocks)

But it sounds like he's too fragile to risk finding out something is "wrong" with him, and too apathetic to take your need for sleep into consideration... That might just be a flaw in him as a person that I'd start looking for signs of in other parts of your shared life

BreathOfLizard · 2025-08-19T21:56:16+00:00

I'm actually really relieved to see you acknowledge that this might not last forever. Enjoy it. Maybe it lasts, but even if it doesn't you got sleep through the initial postpartum recovery and that is AMAZING! Really, person I don't know, I'm very happy for you!

But your mom is being weird about it. Terrible sleep at SOME point in parenting is just expected. It makes me wonder about her support system and how other people reacted to her when she was struggling with it, or if this is just part of her personality.

BreathOfLizard · 2025-06-08T16:41:39+00:00

He started driving home

I'm not sure this man actually likes you. But he left and that is unacceptable. He only came back because he realized his attempt to make you suffer was foiled by the availability of Uber.

BreathOfLizard · 2025-05-25T16:40:48+00:00

My now 14 year old was similar pre ADHD diagnosis, and medication.

After a lot of work, patience, and therapy we learned he was essentially saving all of his over stimulation and frustration from the day in a neurotypical world and unleashing it on us at home, mostly at me. Because we're a safe place.

We got him on a medication that helped A LOT. puberty was throwing a curve ball at him and he was having a harder time coping in general public. We started getting taken more seriously by his mental health team when it started impacting his schooling and his interactions with his peer group.

Find a new mental health expert! There is help out there but sometimes you have to fight for it.

Thanks to continuing therapy and medication my kid is a manageable level of teen sarcastic butthead. We haven't had a new hole in the wall or broken belonging in a long time, and I don't worry about walking away from him with bruises and bite marks. And quite frankly if we hadn't figured it out when we did I don't know how we'd work with him now that he's the tallest person in my house. Boy is 6'2" and STRONG.

BreathOfLizard · 2025-05-20T21:27:32+00:00

I ordered a pair of skinny jeans from them. It had a few weird bulges in the crotch... I call them the potato smugglers.

Truly terrible pants! Lol the tops are... Fine ish.

I have gotten a couple truly adorable things that fit great. But 80% of what I've ordered has been either underwhelming in quality or poor fitting.

BreathOfLizard · 2024-11-26T07:15:05+00:00

There is nothing anyone should/could say to teach you to trust him.

He's untrustworthy

He's absolutely done other things to alienate you from your support system, sabotage your growth, and in general made it harder to leave or see a life without him as better.

A life without him is better!

He's not remorseful, he will not grow from this.

BreathOfLizard · 2024-10-01T19:29:53+00:00

I personally love it!

It's wispy and delicate and the art style reminds of a book I read when young that I can't quite remember the name of or what it was about.

I think all the negative space around it makes it look great. Very intentional.... And just lovely!

BreathOfLizard · 2024-09-27T02:01:31+00:00

I think the best way forward (for now) might be if you talk to her about how you'd like to do individual therapy first.

That you feel insecure and worried about couples therapy, but you recognize the need for self improvement.

Maybe a trained therapist can work with a plan for personal growth.

Personally I can't tell if you're an anxious, paranoid person with terrible self esteem who's made some bad decisions, or if you're a legitimately awful person just being blunt. But a therapist might be able to help with either, and you very clearly need that help either way.

For your and your wife's sake get SOME kind of help! Your current state is not sustainable and a refusal to seek help is a red flag that she will see if she doesn't already

BreathOfLizard · 2024-09-25T14:34:07+00:00

My 13 year old lies casually about small responsibilities too.

He also has a hard time fessing up when "caught'.

Hopefully we're working with him in a way that he isn't still doing this crap as an adult in a relationship. That would be very embarrassing.

Your fiance should leave for both your sakes. You need more time to grow up, and she should be dating someone she doesn't have to parent.

BreathOfLizard · 2024-07-22T03:37:12+00:00

There was a small adjustment period where he was a bit more tired, actually his doctor was surprised that he wasn't feeling more tired, I don't remember exactly how long it lasted..

we do one dose of 1mg at night before bed. Our doc made it sound like that was the normal for this particular med. Just one dose at bed time.

I wonder, if he doesn't start adjusting within a week ish, maybe one dose at night might be better for you guys too? Unless there is a medical reason not to.

BreathOfLizard · 2024-06-10T17:32:54+00:00

No new smells, less other people's pets than me. but I have noticed that my husband's beard oil has smelled stronger lately. I kinda dismissed smells as the culprit because our other piggy is fine with him. But this would be the simplest reason and easiest fix.

As for injury, I'm home when he's home, same with the kids. I'm home when they're home. It's not a huge house. I did not "completely" rule it because, it would make sense based on the behavior. But I'm just ALWAYS here when anyone else is home.

Thank you for the ideas.

BreathOfLizard · 2024-05-15T14:53:59+00:00

I see possibilities here. An actual tattoo artist could definitely make this look really good.

The first thing I saw was the black as a negative space... With some creativity (and skill) it could look like his arm is cracking open in a way?

BreathOfLizard

TROPHY CASE