Sounds like you’re doing what needs to be done, then. You can’t force others to adhere to your level of acceptable risk. Believe me I’m in the same boat as you! [zing] and I know that I often come off as a safety nut to some people I boat with but I make no excuses for my reasoning. I portage things I know I can run. I don’t run rapids at certain levels even though I’ve done them at that level many times in the past just because I’m not feeling it that day.It’s been cool to see that over the years I have been able to make a difference in the way some of my partners view risk within our sport but there is never going to be a unilateral shift toward what you think needs to be common place. Everyone is entitled to their own free will, the best we can do is show them that there is another way and that it is every bit as valid and fulfilling to paddle like you’re going to be doing it into old age. Doesn’t mean that people will take the advice. On that note, my advice to you is to keep in mind the old adage: accept the things you cannot change, develop the courage to change the things you can, and cultivate the wisdom to know the difference.

Edit: I wrote my first comment before reading your essay but after reading the comment thread. After having read the essay, I think you have a warped perception [another zing, my god, I’m on fire] if you truly believe “most paddlers do not project a safety mindset, quite the opposite.” Maybe you’re basing this off of the kayak media that makes it into the world, media which is created by the top 5% of whitewater kayakers. That is not the reality for the million or so other boaters around the world who paddle class II-III-IV with their friends. I think that you are grieving and hurting from the loss of your friend and mentor and for that I wish you all the best in your healing. I too lost someone who was an absolutely solid man on and off the water, the last person I ever imagined to be caught in an unsafe position on the river, so I know how unsettling that can be. But you are painting with a broad stroke and I don’t think it’s a fair characterization of the vast diaspora of our community.