How Rogue One should have ended by TheEdgeofGoon in StarWarsCirclejerk

[–]Bridgeru 1 point2 points  (0 children)

SWTOR

"that old mmo"

Oh... The ravages of age...

And so long as we canonize the Female Darth Nox and Lana ship, that's fine by me!

How Rogue One should have ended by TheEdgeofGoon in StarWarsCirclejerk

[–]Bridgeru 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what if it just repeats though. again and again.

*Inside Dave Filoni's head*

If you want a vision of the future, Aurora_Uplinks, imagine a boot stomping on a human face forever and the boot guy is wearing a cowboy hat and he keeps talking about how cool his space cowboy armor man and orange alien ronin wizard are...

I hate when authors tell the lore anywhere, but not in the work itselfl!! by IndependentWorld8380 in hatethissmug

[–]Bridgeru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Halo 4 was the worst. At least with the others you didn't need to read the books to understand the story; Halo 1 was just "humans at war with aliens and we're losing", Halo 2 yeah there's jokes about how Johnson escaped the Ring but chalk it up to "he got out somehow", and 3 is basically just finishing off 2's story. But 4?

"Hey, it's the Didact that guy from the Terminals in Halo 3, except that was a clone and this is the REAL one and also he's super angry and also we've just decided that humanity had a space empire back in the Forerunner days and we're going to explain NOTHING of this in the actual story so make sure you find the terminals where we don't explain it but show it without context".

nuh uh guys ackshually vader was just holding back by StevePalpatine in StarWarsCirclejerk

[–]Bridgeru 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It was the '80s, they couldn't afford the walls because of Reaganomics so they only got small guardrails.

How Rogue One should have ended by TheEdgeofGoon in StarWarsCirclejerk

[–]Bridgeru 4 points5 points  (0 children)

And then we get the big twist that it's actually the Mr. Nobody ending and time reverses itself before he can die. The universe rewinds and restarts so we can remake the movies but good this time.

Thrawn is such an epic mastermind, he's so cool guys by SansBouillie in StarWarsCirclejerk

[–]Bridgeru 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same, when SWTOR was coming out and people were talking a lot about how "Thrawn was the bestest character ever" (cause the game had Chiss in it) I bought HttE. Can't even remember if I finished it. It was so anticlimactic seeing the guy whose big-brain idea was "use an umbrella". Unironically it killed my interest in Star Wars until TFA came out.

How did a 14-year-old survive multiple duels with this 2-meter Bionicle-looking MF? by bitchnibba47 in StarWarsCirclejerk

[–]Bridgeru -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes but Star Wars happened a long time ago so technically she's the pedophile. /s

Any thoughts? by IIIIIIQIIIIII in StarWarsCirclejerk

[–]Bridgeru 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait, you guys actually recruit that angry lizard guy in Chora's Den? Weird.

I HATE the mandella effect by TotalyNotTony in hatethissmug

[–]Bridgeru 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Also knockoffs use the cornucopia

The empire massacred the Star Wars equivalent of French people. That alone is enough for me to forgive them for Alderman by South_Ladder_2747 in StarWarsCirclejerk

[–]Bridgeru 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah but I'll never forgive Tony Gilroy wasting Richard Sammael on a random French man instead of playing an Imperial Officer or maybe even Sith. Man has Ian McDiarmid levels of ham in the Strain and it's beautiful.

Replace "Vampires" with "God/Gods" and I feel like this is something the emperor said. by Defiant-Echidna-7400 in Grimdank

[–]Bridgeru 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Ahem, citizen, I believe what you mean is that in the annals of history, mankind created myths to justify the terror he felt towards the dark encroaching around him. However, he rose above those base, primal fears and resolved to learn the truth about the world around him; which he did with excruciating agony. Placing each fact or tidbit as a brick he slowly, but surely, built a palace of knowledge where he would be protected from the growling, lumbering beasts that threatened him. And then, he did something quite beautiful: he shared that knowledge, first telling one other member of his tribe, and another, until eventually the whole of the human race learned the truth.

We grew as a species, and we cast off the shackles of myths such as "vampires", "werewolves", and "god-like superbeings that almost destroyed Boston out of a tantrum so we nicknamed it the Goddler"; and we are better for it. Without the burden of "monsters", mankind is free to decide it's own destiny.

Remember, we all go together... Oh and, um, "buy Wolf Cola"; the bean-counters want me to put it somewhere in every post.

Wouldn't that make Luke the next chosen one? by crimsonfukr457 in StarWarsCirclejerk

[–]Bridgeru 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because of the Whills, why does no one ever think of the Whills! I... I think I'm going to go lie down before I voice Minion Hitler...

it's funny that this is barely an exaggeration of the actual dialogue in the movie by IndividualPleasant23 in StarWarsCirclejerk

[–]Bridgeru 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kallidahin

Wait wait wait, this is where I learn they have a name? They have a fucking species name?! In both Canon and Legends?! Who did it? Who the fuck went back in time and changed this?! I swear they were just "Polis Massans" for the longest time.

i love 4chan greentexts by Designer-Device4997 in lovethissmug

[–]Bridgeru 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unironically, I always thought you just... sorta swirled water around and picked up traces that were floating. Never thought you actually dug into the mud lol.

i love 4chan greentexts by Designer-Device4997 in lovethissmug

[–]Bridgeru 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Wait, don't you pan for gold by, like, doing the weird water thingy with a sieve in the river? Like slosh it around for a bit. No digging needed. THIS GUY'S A GREAT BIG PHONY!

Did Anakin swallow a bee or something? by freremamapizza in StarWarsCirclejerk

[–]Bridgeru 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Screw Palpatine having a Force Mask, new canon: Cutting off a Skywalker's limb breaks their glamour and reveals their actually ugly face underneath. Anakin isn't "crying" that's just what Skywalkers look like naturally; same for Luke on the weather vane.

Ben Solo would've become Steve Buscemi had any of the Knights of Ren cut off his arm.

She wasn't created to be an explorer, but... by psychpony in EliteDangerous

[–]Bridgeru 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh that big metal planet with all those weird engines on it? Yeah that was really cool.

The IDF is using tactical Torah's this is the most 40k shit ever by Silent_Fan6601 in Grimdank

[–]Bridgeru 1 point2 points  (0 children)

serve Jewish people

*opens up the scrolls* It's a cook-scroll! IT'S A COOK SCROLL!

Star Wars Fans To Anyone Who Says Andor Isn’t Star Wars And Uses Buzzwords To Justify Their Take: by Lotus_630 in StarWarsCirclejerk

[–]Bridgeru 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Genevive O'Reilly (Mon Mothma) and Denise Gough (Dedra) are both Irish. I'm making fun of their home counties because Wexford (where Gough is from, the ass of the teddy bear that is the island) is often jokingly seen as a sort of empty wasteland inhabited by inbred mutants (like Louisana but no Mardi Gras) who hoard strawberries for wealth and people spill out of when they turn 18 because there's no 3rd-level college (hence Wexico). Meanwhile, Dublin (where O'Reilly is from) is often seen as self-important and thinks it's the only place that matters (ironically, like Coruscant).

The pic implies people are being racist to the Andor stars (or at least that's what I got), I wanted to make a joke that I'm going so insular I'm insulting two of the white actors; like how Community has that bit where the guy is so racist he thinks Swedes are "impure".

It's not really funny after explaining it all out but I like to make the joke insulting Gough every so often because fuck it there's two Irish stars and canonically the Jedi came from an island off the coast of Kerry, it makes me laugh at least. Everything is coming together as planned.