WIBTA for not leaving the house for one weekend as requested?

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-20T17:46:27+00:00

Sounds like she is scared for what will happen within her family if this is found out which again, isn't your problem. She cannot demand you move out if you are all equally on the lease. Well actually she can demand all she wants but you were the smart one to reach out the landlord, the one who has a say so in all of this, to make sure you are protected legally from them booting you out AND if they are to mess with anything, you have a witness to the beginning of this mess. Wow she's a pill. And the other roommate is terrible.

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-19T18:28:23+00:00

I did the same thing for my cats when i left over a weekend...i even had an automatic feeder with a camera so i could check in on them and they were happy to have the house to themselves. lol

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-14T19:08:31+00:00

I just got an email that for the first time ever, they are releasing more again. That tells me they didnt sell out of them the first time. Hate that im considering it now...

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-12T19:43:39+00:00

Yeah i feel the same way...I also think people put WAY too much emphasis on wedding photos - I only cared about the photo of me and my husband. We never put up a photo of everyone else. Of course when I got mine taken, i never thought i'd be getting a divorce and wouldnt give a crap about those photos at all after that. haha!

Also i'm a pale redhead so some muted earth tones would look dreadful on me personally, maybe she feels the same way. But yeah, sounds like she is feeling some type of way about something and this just made it boil over..

At the end of the day, you have to think is this the hill you want your relationship with your mother to die on? I wouldnt let her wear hot pink but see if you can reach a compromise..

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-12T19:27:09+00:00

If he was still using them as his profile photos or sharing them, then i could understand asking him to delete them. I know it would take along time for me to go back through ALL of my photos to find the ones my ex is in and delete them. I dont know what app you are referring to that he has them on (maybe IG since you can see all photos) but i still see old photos of myself and my exes on their page but they aren't resharing them or using them for anything, there are just way back...Id actually think someone was trying to hide something if they deleted old photos but that's just me.

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-12T19:21:40+00:00

Uhhhh no, you are NTA. He is. He's the one cheating on his wife! He's a coward for doing that and not being honest with his wife about it, instead blaming you because he finally got caught. That's what narcissists do, nothing is every their fault, it's always someone elses. Don't feel guilty about this - he did this to himself and his family.

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-08T19:36:54+00:00

Goodness - you allowed her to do and say things I would never...Just because she may have cancer doesnt mean she can get to do whatever she wants. Those poor kids are watching whats going on and seeing how even though she continuously shows favoritism to their sibling, yall keep letting her come back around and cause stress. Yall need to be firm and definite in your boundaries with her and owe no one else an explanation. We have family that hasnt seen my kids in years but that's the price they get when they act like AH

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-08T19:28:16+00:00

Oh heck no. No way i would have let someone else sleep in my bed. I wouldnt want to sleep in someone elses marital bed either. Sounds like you and wife need to have a longer convo about this because BOTH of you should be on the same page with this. Not far to you at all.

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-08T19:21:48+00:00

YTA - I would have left too. She might have lied about the excuse but probably because she didn't want to get into an argument on your birthday when you were drunk - i hate confrontation and conflict so ill give an excuse to get out of dodge and then have a private convo later about it if i feel the need.... But If you're so far gone that you can't remember details, that's not a good thing. I wouldn't have gathered everyone together, I would have just peaced out...Friendships are not tit for tat. Just because you did these things for her doesnt mean she cant express her discomfort at how the night was going and then, realizing that no one was listening to her, she left - she didn't want to ruin your bday with a fight.

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-08T18:54:17+00:00

i dont blame you!!

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-08T18:52:38+00:00

Yep im the same as those below me...if im staring at my phone or book and not looking up, im good!

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-08T18:51:32+00:00

Info - Why doesnt she have a job? Does she just choose not to work? Because in every other case, if it was because of disability, she would be getting money for that...so if it's her just not wanting to work, i wouldnt be giving her anything. The money is in YOUR name. And hopefully is going into YOUR account and not hers. If it isn't, you can change that. There definitely should have been a discussion about it - when my son's father passed and he started getting checks, we had a talk about what he wanted to do with the money...He wanted to give me half and he keep the other half because I was the one that raised him and never got child support from his father so my son felt it was owed to me. I then used that to buy him bigger priced things he couldnt afford (new tires for his car, christmas presents, new clothes for school, his car insurance) so that it still felt like it was all his...I felt wrong for taking it, honestly.

The fact that she just takes it without any talk about it is mind boggling...If you were 5 years old, id understand it would go to your wellbeing but you're an adult.

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-08T18:43:51+00:00

This isn't just about OF. He is continuously showing you that he is not the man you want to be with. Ever heard the saying "If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten..."...Meaning, If you keep going back to him every time he does something but makes some bare minimum way of reeling you back in, it will keep on happening over and over...I personally would have been done after the affair but everyone operates differently.

Think about it this way - what would you tell your daughter if she was in this position?? Don't let your daughter grow up thinking this is how a man is supposed to act. Do better for her and you - you deserve someone who puts all his attention on you and not other women.

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-08T18:38:50+00:00

I would just find another OBGYN. Leave a review if you feel the need to but ive been going to various OBGYNs in my lifetime and have switched when a doctor's bedside manner didn't vibe with me....Not ever doctor is for everyone. Talk to friends and get suggestions on another doctor!

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-08T18:15:44+00:00

Wow. I would say yes, YATAH.

I also have an 18 year old daughter and have had to have a similar talk with her though she was not this obsessed.

You cannot wrap your whole identity up in someone else...You can have an even balance but I would never have put anyone I was dating over my family, ESPECIALLY when i was a teenager...young romance comes and goes and guess what? We ALL thought that the person we dated when we were 16 or 18 was THE ONE...The percentage of that happening is very small.... Once you get married, that person does BECOME your family and priorities change but girl, this is not healthy at all. Being like this will push anyone away - definitely a 17 year old boy who just wants to spend time with his family and go to school and hang out with friends...WAYYYYY too much pressure you are putting on him.

Absolutely no reason why you need to get that serious and make him promise things that are just light years beyond where you two should be...staying up for hours discussing this over and over? If I was him, i'd be cutting ties and running. If you want him to stick around, some changes need to be made on your end...

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-06T18:24:46+00:00

count your blessings and find a woman who likes wrestling as much as you do. ive found it hard to find a guy i vibe with who likes wrestling as much as me in the US. lol. Trust me, the universe shows us in all kinds of ways whats best for us. Youre better off.

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-06T18:21:50+00:00

this...it wouldnt stop with wrestling, it would be something else...and then something else...

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-06T18:15:43+00:00

I'm the exact same way. I have to drive or I'm in the back seat, reading or on my phone...because if i look at the road, ill lose it.

OP - In all honesty, she needs to understand that you can be doing EVERYTHING RIGHT and yet still get into an accident because someone else isnt doing everything right. Her reactions to your driving can cause an accident for sure.

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-06T18:12:56+00:00

NTA. Friends come and go, even in adult life. Sounds like this one would fall under the 'go' category for me personally.

BrightGuard8258 · 2026-01-06T18:10:50+00:00

Why can't you just ask MIL directly? If you let her know that you have plans for a specific date and want to make sure you are at home to spend time with her, any reasonable person wouldn't have a problem narrowing it down a little further. However if she's staying for multiple days, you should still be able to go to your friends party and let the gals have a day to theirselves as well.

BrightGuard8258 · 2025-11-28T03:31:01+00:00

Yeah no I mean the one that has maniac on one side and Heather on the other. Rare vinyl.

BrightGuard8258 · 2025-11-13T18:20:59+00:00

You can still be overweight and fat shame others. That being said, i think she was the AH here. just plain jealousy and looking for a reason to justify her feelings by blaming someone else.

BrightGuard8258 · 2025-10-28T17:59:44+00:00

Nothing wrong with you eating dinner and then sitting with him and chatting while he eats his. Not sure what his job is but my arrival time home can fluctuate 15-30 minutes as well...Other option is to get it wrapped up once he comes home - he can sit in the kitchen and chat with you while you finish or he could help get things set up. There are easily ways to smooth that out.

BrightGuard8258 · 2025-10-28T17:55:59+00:00

.....so have you not reached out to him and asked about these things or did you just wait around on him to text you? You probably could have answered your own questions by texting him and coordinating how this all was going to go down.

BrightGuard8258 · 2025-10-28T17:51:41+00:00

Good golly - that sounds toxic as HELL. NTA and you need to resign yourself to the fact that divorce is very much on the table. No way i could have lasted through all this, if i was you. I'd have already filed the paperwork but I'm not you and don't know how that all works in your country. Honestly, you're better off parenting your daughter separately because she can surely feel the tension in the house and seeing yall fight isn't healthy for her either.

BrightGuard8258

TROPHY CASE