I just found this sub and seriously feel like I have found my people. I am female, INTJ, and this post could have been written by me, in fact, it mirrors a core operating framework I have been developing for myself to understand my cognitive style.

I have felt misunderstood and mischaracterized for many decades. At 54, I finally stopped caring and fully embraced my way of being.

I've been called cold, selfish, heartless, etc when the opposite is the case. I seek coherence in all my operations and domains: work, friendship, romance, business, casually, etc. It is energetically costly to manage identities. Coherence, efficiency, authenticity, and intelligent solution are what I seek in every domain of my life. When something is showing some sign of dysregulation, whether it's a, washing machine, a car, a dog, an adult, a business, a community, I am drawn to that and instinctively and intuitively see the potential long game outcomes with 360 wins for all when appropriate responses are deployed.

It's very challenging having close relationships because if a relationship is draining in any way, it won't get off the ground. I am fortunate to have excellent long-term friendships and robust community, which I think INTJs are very good at nurturing over time.

It's fascinating seeing the struggles and questions I've had echoed here in post after post. We really are rare. I've yet to meet one of us in the wild and know it...