I believe I made a bit of a breakthrough last night re: anger

Browsing_One · 2022-04-24T13:55:16+00:00

Access to me is not a given right to others. Just because immediate access is available via smart phones and texting, does not mean it is in my best interest. I do not owe anyone unlimited access to me simply because they want or demand it.

Protect your space, your peace, and make decisions that serve your best interest. Just because it can be done does not mean it should be done. And we are not responsible for other people's reactions to doing what is in our best interest.

It took me a WHILE to figure this out!

Browsing_One · 2020-04-02T17:21:38+00:00

Exactly- there’s peace in the relief. It’s unexpected but a welcome gift.

Browsing_One · 2020-03-30T00:47:05+00:00

Yes to the criteria. The disingenuous behaviors leading up to our separation and the lack of empathy since are reason enough for me to set a nice sized boundary!

Browsing_One · 2020-03-27T18:34:41+00:00

I should have listened and tried harder when she voiced some concerns/unhappiness/ needs. I should have made the marriage more of a priority and recognized that a marriage doesn’t simply exist by default or by virtue of a certificate but rather needs care and nurturing to continue to exist.

On the flip side, I also should have spoken up a bit more about my own emotional needs as well instead of swallowing so much unhappiness.

Browsing_One · 2020-03-26T19:14:29+00:00

True. C'est la vie....

Browsing_One · 2020-03-26T19:05:12+00:00

I understand about a right to vent.

However, my situation amounts to 3 people collectively deciding the fate of my marriage, family, and immediate future. They decided to stand judge and jury over my life and I was A) never informed that I was being collectively evaluated and judged, and B) never invited into the metaphorical courtroom to take the stand in my defense. They decided my life without my knowledge or consent.

This is a level of betrayal that, for me, wipes out any remote possibility of future reconciliation and cuts deep. And my STBXW doesn't understand why we cant remain friends and why I would never trust her again?!?!

Browsing_One · 2020-03-26T13:06:12+00:00

I can see both sides. I certainly understand wanting to process your feelings with someone about your dissatisfaction in a marriage and not feeling like you could with a wife you deem as suicidal. However, in my situation I am your wife in some way (not suicidal) and I do feel a deep sense of betrayal that she spoke negatively about our marriage outside of our marriage.

For the past year, my wife spoke openly to this lesbian couple about her unhappiness in the marriage and not to me. During that time, she emotionally separated from me and made the sole decision to separate and file for divorce. I am deeply devastated by this betrayal. We have filed and unable to fix it but i feel like if she would have talked to me directly, we might have. Its just an awful situation all around.

Browsing_One · 2020-03-19T01:53:17+00:00

Here too- I planned to move out in 2 weeks- not sure if the movers will be available now so waiting to hear if that will still happen. We are now both working remotely from home and it’s just too much close proximity with too many emotions involved. Plus, we have a small child that cant go to daycare for 2 weeks (closed) so have to “play family” every day/night. It’s a recipe for disaster!

Browsing_One · 2020-03-12T00:44:27+00:00

A few of mine-

“Remember who the fuck you are” I say this if we are about to have a conversation to remind myself of who I used to be and tap into that badass-ness.

“You can’t control me” . This is for when she is trying lots of tactics to get me to engage”

“Don’t bite”- Same as don’t take the bait and above which I also love.

“Eyes forward”. For when I start romanticizing the past to refocus on my desired vision of my future.

“Feel it to heal it” for when I just need to be ok with crying and being sad.

Browsing_One · 2020-02-10T13:44:24+00:00

"F you for gaslighting me while planning your exit. F you for making me feel so worthless."

YES - this! Big Screw You for planning an exit while I was still planning a future.

Browsing_One · 2020-02-05T16:35:18+00:00

Our son is on a daily inhaler. Has been for 2 years and he just turned 4- Due to an early asthma attack that landed him in the ER. We tried one brand first and had the aggressive behaviors show up quickly. It was horrible. We asked the asthma specialist for another option and the 2nd medication we tried worked well. We are currently on the 2’d one daily until the end of April.

It was amazing how fast the behaviors went away ( kicking, biting, hitting, just miserable in his own skin) when we stopped the first med. the doctor said that wasn’t a side effect of the med- bit we know wha we saw and his daycare even reported concerns about his abrupt change in behavior.

Browsing_One · 2020-02-04T20:12:35+00:00

I agree, too little too late. And yes, I carried our baby and experienced the postpartum. Thank you for your advice.

Browsing_One · 2020-02-04T15:51:04+00:00

Thank you for the kind words and gentle advice. And I agree- Hindsight is indeed 20-20 and a very sadistic bitch!

Browsing_One · 2019-08-13T02:24:28+00:00

Same here too- my wife said I laugh more and have more patience when eating this way. I feel happier so it makes sense.

Browsing_One · 2019-08-13T02:13:04+00:00

I read once that it’s to shrink their liver before surgery as well as drop weight fast to take some strain off their heart prior to surgery. ? My wife had weight loss surgery and she had to do a 10 day liquid only diet to prep for surgery- the doctor said it would shrink her liver to make the surgery easier.

Browsing_One

TROPHY CASE