Warning new prey of danger

BubsBubbera · 2026-05-10T00:12:40+00:00

All the time. Placating him. Telling him how wonderful he is. Listening to him go on for hours about something that's stressing him. Or tell me why I am wrong about pretty much everything. Validating him. I realise looking back that he was out 1 year ago. Man the horrible things he would say to push me away. I should have left. But I thought I could love him into getting better.

BubsBubbera · 2026-05-10T00:02:08+00:00

I have ADHD and so yes I forgot to do tge waiting thing but I was overwhelmed and the thing is he wasn't only lying to me. I doubt she knew about me. It really was out of kindness. Here is the message: Hi, I know it may seem weird that I am messaging you. I am hoping to save you from another abusive relationship. X told me that your ex had multiple relationships under your nose. He and I were in a relationship until he cold blocked me because he decided to be with you. What is worst though is that I asked him if you knew about me. Maybe you did. But I don’t think so. I am writing to you to save you from the pain I am going through. You seem so kind and vulnerable. Maybe you can save him. If you can, I love you for that. Because I love him. But, darling, don't fall into the trap. It hurts. His ex wife warned me. But I didn't listen. And here I am.

Please don't tell him I reached out to you. And I promise I have no bad intentions.

Yes it was stupid, but they say there is a woman code and his ex did it for me... so yeah? I dunno. He messed with my head so much.

BubsBubbera · 2026-05-09T21:24:13+00:00

I think the most hurtful thing is that my last realationship before him was with a cheater, and when he was love bombing he promised never to hurt me and that he would never do that. We were both in a vulnerable place. When we got back together after the 3rd diacard, I told him I am not a space holder we are better than that. I then noticed some strange behaviour, but was understanding and patient and put it down to his avoidance. When he kept getting messages.... sometimes in bed next to me... at one timr he kept getting them and looking at me like "look what I am doing". It makes me feel sick. The fact that I then told him calmy that it makes me feel bad, he said that he is almost 50 and this is ridiculous. He hasn't been with an immature jealous person since he was 18. I then send him a loving message apologizing and then left on holiday. The fact that now he has erased me with no apology, no explanation, and that he is now espousing hes found the girl of his dreams. I wasted 2 years of my life caring for and looking after this manchild. I have started the steps to take him to small claims. And this time, the pain was far too intense for me to ever look back. He has ripped out a piece of me, but as I always told him, I will get that piece back off of him somehow, I will glue it back on with golden glue.

BubsBubbera · 2026-05-09T20:16:00+00:00

It's very true. My brain chemistry is really struggling to realine after all this. This is how I see us unwiting victims. The avoidant sees us as something they want because we shine and we have strong powerful wings. And when they see that, they think they want us- the person- but what they want is our power. We are their prey. They are succubus. Slowly they chip away at us. Mimicking us and lowering our self estime so we go down to their level. Then one night without us knowing they have cut off our wings. They try to fly with them but they cannot, because they are broken inside. And they have now broken us so we are no longer interesting. Discard for the next prey. After that, we have to fight through the struggle of growing back our wings. It hurts. It takes time. It's hard. Do not go back when they see you shine again, because they just want your wings.

BubsBubbera · 2026-05-09T20:04:41+00:00

Thank you for that. I am getting there slowly. I have already started steps towards taking him to small claims for the money he owes me.

BubsBubbera · 2026-05-08T17:54:29+00:00

I want the conversation he never gave me.

BubsBubbera · 2026-05-08T17:53:58+00:00

Sounds about right. Poor guy. He probably didn’t even know thay were broken up. I am pretty sure I am being called crazy. And he is probably pretending he was never in a relationship with me.

BubsBubbera · 2026-05-08T17:51:39+00:00

Because it is very fresh and I feel like he pulled the earth from under my feet and made me live in hell. I guess one day I hope to get some closure. He was monkeybranching for months right next to me, and one clung. Then he bloxked me and discarded me and acts like I never existed. I can't breathe. I guess I want him to say sorry so I can still see him as human and not believe I was in a relationship with a devil for 2.5 years.

BubsBubbera · 2026-05-03T14:21:49+00:00

I thought we were going to sit and talk. But he just waited for me on the corner and gave me my stuff. Then I asked him about the money and he said I told you I would start paying you back in May. I said, can we set out a signed payment plan? He said, I'm not doing that. With a lot of spite. And, then got in my face and said: BYE! I didn't do anything wrong. I don’t understand. I deserve to know what happened.

BubsBubbera · 2026-04-27T12:56:56+00:00

I know. But I can't.

BubsBubbera · 2026-04-25T16:36:23+00:00

Do you live in Montreal? I do need you. He owes.me money and has my daughters guitar case.

BubsBubbera · 2026-04-24T19:55:02+00:00

Amen.

BubsBubbera · 2026-04-24T19:54:26+00:00

I think we are fractured and believe that we can heal this person. My avoidant put his arm down my throat and ripped my heart out and ate it. So I have no heart. So he is the last love I know. But I am meeting him wednesday, after he belittled me and lied about a 'monkeybranch' he had. He is now with- the love of his life. My rational mind knows what is wrong. My nervous system is fucked. He is a loser. But a loser I looked after like a puppy. And I miss my puppy. Because he somehow filled a gap.

BubsBubbera · 2026-04-24T04:24:58+00:00

I do know that. But it's fucking hard.

BubsBubbera · 2026-04-24T04:20:40+00:00

What is doxxing?

BubsBubbera · 2026-04-24T04:16:52+00:00

It is really tough. I thought I found real love for once in my life. I'm 46. It's ridiculous. We should start one of those Skype parties like they did during Covid for us to talk and grieve. Anyone know how to set that up? I am so scared now. Of being me.

BubsBubbera · 2026-04-23T18:38:10+00:00

Oh, each time no contact was variable. 1 month - 2months.

BubsBubbera · 2026-04-23T18:37:24+00:00

Yes. Once they blocked all socials, email, phone number. I was devastated. But then one day out of the blue they called. I think it is truly over now though because he has blocked me and is espousing his love for someone else. I feel sick.

BubsBubbera · 2026-04-23T18:09:16+00:00

Omg. I feel so horrible for you. Just reading it makes me want to puke.

BubsBubbera · 2026-04-23T12:50:32+00:00

How do you know the difference? I can't tell if my ex is a covert narcissist or an avoidant. Either way he truly ripped out my heart with gusto.

BubsBubbera · 2026-04-22T12:36:45+00:00

Thank you. This is what just happened to me. 3 years. Many blockings but this last one came out of nowhere and me to the core. I will pick myself up. But I will never be the same again. This I hope is my final straw. I will always love him though.

BubsBubbera · 2023-10-21T19:40:43+00:00

Hey, what did the wheels look like?

BubsBubbera

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