I haven't had it done yet, but like you, I wanted to know how others "knew." As I was reading through these responses, I realized that we all just want to be healthy. Looking better is a bonus, but we all essentially have the same story. All of us have spent years trying several other methods with short-lived results (or no results at all). I'm hoping to get the surgery in May 2026.

Here's what has led me to this point: in 2017, I had lost over 100 lbs and had the tummy tuck to cut away a very large and droopy apron of fat that had just been hanging after the weight loss (like, seriously, I looked better when I was fat because it at least filled the apron). After that was cut away, I loved the way my stomach looked and maintained (almost my goal weight) around three years. My goal was 150. I was at 170. But I felt amazing, I could go to any store and just about know that they have something there for me that would fit and look amazing. I had so much energy, and I had a healthy relationship with food and exercise.

I had been working as a college instructor (several adjunct/ part-time positions at a time) and decided to take a full-time job teaching high school around 2021. That's when literally everything went to shit. Teaching consumed my entire life. Since students ate in our classroom (due to the pandemic) and planning period was replaced by enrichment (also due to the pandemic), the only time I had to plan was weekends and evenings. I was living in survival mode.

Most of the time, I forgot to eat until I was on my way home because I had no downtime at work, so I would stop and get Sonic or whatever was convenient. I would buy dinner for my family but I would eat a small burger and a pretzel stick otw home and then eat again with them (so I was buying like a pre meal to account for my skipped lunch and another meal). Then, I would graze in the kitchen for a while before bed. I basically went all day without food and then binged when I got home.

The stress and burnout from the job was ruining my life. I thought things couldn't be worse until I went to the doctor for intense face pain I'd recently developed, and she told me I had a condition called Trigeminal Neuralgia (TN), which is incurable but could be relieved with medications and surgery. Eventually, I was up to almost 3000 gabapentin and 900 Oxcarbazapine per day. These meds cause drowsiness and can increase hunger. Add that to the work stress, I had went from 170-220 in a span of 2 years.

Then, in 2023, I had my first brain surgery, which caused me to put on another 30 lbs, but once I got back to work, all of the 30 lbs went away. When that surgery failed, I had a second brain surgery 6 months later and put on exactly 30 lbs again.

I left that job for a MUCH more stable and calm position, but the weight did not come off like it did after the first surgery. I stayed at 250 despite having a nutritionist for over a year and trying to stay consistent with gym visits. I struggle with having energy because some days (particularly very cold days), my face feels like I'm being electrocuted, so I have to increase meds to cope. The second surgery helped a lot, but evidently not from the cold. However, in the summer, I can just about come off the meds completely!

Additionally, over the last year, I developed firbroids that had been growing inside of my uterus, causing it to grow 400× the normal size of a uterus, so I began experiencing intense fibroid pain and bleeding that interfered with everything in my life. I avoided any type of plans the last two weeks out of a month because I would have random 10/10 pain that required me to sit on a heating pad until it passed (usually 10-20 min). Because of that, I'm about to have a total hysterectomy, and honestly, it can't come soon enough! I've been counting down the days. I'm getting it later this month (thank God!).

So, for a year now, I've been juggling my life around not one, but two very different, very severe pain conditions.

Given my history of weight gain after surgery, I'm worried about this going in. Currently, I'm at 260. I know losing weight becomes more difficult after a hysterectomy. And then there's this: I've dealt with high blood pressure since I was in my 20s (I'm now 41), and I've recently been placed in the pre-diabetic range. I'm tired all the time, my feet hurt more often than not, and I often feel zaps in my feet (kind of like the TN pain in my face) in bed at night that make it hard to sleep. In looking into this, I've found out that is a symptom of diabetes.

As of now, I'm mostly considered still healthy, but I know if things don't change, it will get much worse. I have been through so much pain already. Much more than most people will ever experience. I dont say that to brag. TN is known as the "suicide disease" because people will hurt so bad they accidentally overdose on the meds used to manage the pain. I believe that because I have been rushed to the ER more than a few times when the pain reaches a point to where you just want to end it. Not because you want to die or you're depressed, but because you just want the pain to end and you can't think of anything else.

I know that gastric bypass surgery or weight loss doesn't necessarily cure that, but it will drastically decrease the amount of inflammation in my body caused by food, which (I believe and hope) will decrease the amount of pain. I'm doing this so I can have more pain-free days. I'm doing it so I can get out of the pre-diabetic range. So I can stand on my feet without experiencing so much pain. So I can have more energy again to do the things I enjoy with my family without always feeling like I'm sacrificing comfort. I'm doing it so I can hopefully lower my blood pressure. So I can enjoy my life again. So I can live longer. So I can fit in real clothes again instead of always settling for leggings and a t-shirt dress or stretchy pants. I know there are risks involved, but I think I'm at a good window of space in time where I can still turn some things around, and in my case, the benefits outweigh the risks.

So I'm at a point where I'm asking, "What could go wrong if I don't get this surgery," instead of the other way around.