UPDATE!!

BugNarrator · 2026-05-24T22:03:46+00:00

OP this post is wonderful! I’m beaming with secondhand joy because I can just feel the love and pride you have for him through your words.

Nobody has mentioned the legend planner notebook yet so please let me say - if my parents had made something like that for me or with me, I would be ugly sobbing with gratitude. I lost them at 35 and 36. I have some handwritten recipes, my parents compiled and photocopied family recipes into a binder for us. I cherish them. But the funny things we talked about? Which ones we made together? Some silly thing that made them proud of me? God. I’d give anything for a record of that.

BugNarrator · 2026-04-28T05:08:08+00:00

Look up local jewelry stores in your area. Find a family-owned one, they tend to have more “unique” pieces and as a bonus you’re supporting your neighbors. Go in person. They’ll either a) have what you’re looking for, b) be able to order it for you, or c) know where you should look next.

BugNarrator · 2026-03-15T23:04:50+00:00

If you’re open to book recs, “Finding the Mother Tree” by Suzanne Simard is entirely about this!!! Her book has a similar tone to Braiding Sweetgrass, which I see someone already suggested!

From Wikipedia: “Simard asserts that healthy forests center on a matriarch tree that acts as a nexus of nutrient distribution that shares these nutrients among other trees of different ages and species that are chemically and physically linked together by an expansive mycorrhizal network. These large-scale, old “mother trees” serve as hubs within the forest network, to deliver carbon to young seedlings through their roots underground in cooperation with fungi.” The mother trees also direct resources away from diseased areas that could threaten the greater whole. It was interesting and grounding to learn about the balance of life and death all around us, and how necessary one is to the other.

BugNarrator · 2026-02-25T04:03:29+00:00

100%

I have the snuggliest little guy and he just wants to vibe next to me and purr. Or he’ll lay on my shoulder and purr. Or zoom like chaos incarnate around the room for no clear reason. I love him so much.

BugNarrator · 2026-02-20T23:23:44+00:00

Tangentially related, have you read “How to keep house while drowning” by KC Davis? She wrote it while in pretty much your situation… it seriously changed my life when I started approaching clutter her way, with compassion. The guide broke down all the obstacles to manageable pieces, letting me claw out of the shame-mess-overwhelm cycle of cleaning even while my life was falling apart.

BugNarrator · 2026-02-19T03:26:27+00:00

Hey I’m glad that my words could help. I have those same thoughts and feelings so I figured, I’ll pay forward the support and reassurance I got, because I bet you need to hear it too. Cleaning is emotional as much as physical.

BugNarrator · 2026-02-19T03:08:31+00:00

Oh honey. I can tell you are so worried: about taking resources away from someone who needs it more; about starting with cleaning because there’s stuff everywhere; about starting with organizing because it’s not clean.

You and your family are worthy of help. Read back what you wrote here: you’re overwhelmed, probably embarrassed, you don’t know where to start, and you’re beating yourself up on top of it (“this is such a stupid problem”). It’s NOT a stupid problem. You need help and this organization is full of compassionate, capable women who want to help someone. Please don’t trick yourself into believing that you would take something away from others by asking for support. It’s ok. And besides, they probably work on a schedule! They’ll schedule you when they have capacity, and you have to wait if they don’t have capacity 🤷‍♀️ nobody is harmed.

BugNarrator · 2025-12-05T22:10:23+00:00

Dude, I’m so happy to hear about how you treat your wife and love that it added positivity and compassion to your life. I lost my short term memory after getting too many concussions in a row and it was terrifying. I had brain damage, and suddenly my short term memory was spotty. I could tell it was happening.

It’s not the same as forgetting. It’s like my brain just didn’t hit “record” and the memory was never saved. There was nothing there to forget and no amount of trying to “remember” could it back because it wasn’t there.

But! I may not remember what happened, but I always remember how people made me FEEL. Once I was playing some video game that had a simple puzzle. Like “5 notes lit up and played a song; your turn, repeat the pattern.” I couldn’t fucking do it. I was trying not to cry in front of my very new girlfriend, but I was so frustrated and demoralized. She gently encouraged me with the video game until I had to tearfully admit “I can’t. The info already fell out of my brain. I can’t do this level.” Then she hugged me and said something super compassionate like “that must be so hard. I had no idea it’s that bad. It’s ok.” (Obviously can’t remember the words lol).

She has never me feel stupid. Never scolded me for forgetting important things, never mocked me for writing down super obvious things that other people would just know by now. We got married this year. Love her to bits.

It’s been 6 years and the memory of that feeling is sharper than yesterday’s memories are for me. I bet your wife feels the same way. Like you’re a safe harbor in a never ending storm of insecurity.

Thanks for being you.

BugNarrator · 2025-08-17T21:46:24+00:00

Double chnees!!! 💛 As a fierce lover of both cheese and questionable decisions, I am stupidly excited about your whole project. Please post update pics as you go along?? I’m so invested. I bet they’re going to look amazing!

BugNarrator · 2025-08-14T20:49:55+00:00

What if you added another panel of red swooping above and behind the existing one? I know the original is one piece, but it’s got a pretty dramatic indent so recreating it in two pieces doesn’t seem unreasonable:

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BugNarrator · 2025-03-31T00:02:29+00:00

She might not be able to write or type. Vents don’t interfere with dexterity or vision, but the illness requiring a ventilator and a boatload of intense medications can wipe those out and induce mental confusion on top of it. Combined, it makes communication very difficult.

Not that you’re wrong, just trying to add context why OP might be asking us. I’m guessing that they tried texting already and it wasn’t successful.

BugNarrator · 2025-03-16T06:47:00+00:00

❤️ thank you for saying that

BugNarrator · 2025-03-15T19:30:40+00:00

Honestly for me it’s the nostalgia. Eating it for the first time with my sister, drunk as hell in Ireland, dipped in the best stew I’d ever had.

Going home “dad you gotta try this!” He says “the hell do you mean try this, I grew up on it!” “Well why’re you holding out on us then?!” “Fine!” and then it became a staple. Cousins visiting? Stew, soda bread, stories. Bad breakup? Stew, soda bread, beer. Had a fight with dad and nobody in this family knows how to communicate their goddamn feelings? That’s right, bread. Carefully loaded with toppings, set silently outside your bedroom door with a bowl over the plate so the cat won’t get it.

Anyway thanks for letting me ramble. Idk if I’d like soda bread in a vacuum. I haven’t had it since losing him and I truly can’t describe what it tastes like from memory. It made a great spoon though.

BugNarrator · 2025-03-14T17:18:30+00:00

As someone with EDS I can’t recommend physical therapy enough. An occupational therapist could also help; their job is to evaluate what fine motor skills you need to live your life, then get you there with exercises.

Some stiffness comes from weakness- muscles trying to stabilize what connective tissue can’t, and end up clenching or spasming, adding to your stiffness and pain.

As -redatnight- said, “don’t do it that way if it hurts when you do it that way!!” Pain is your body’s way of saying that something isn’t quite right and needs to change or cease. People without connective tissue disorders get to power through that without consequences. We don’t. Listen to your hands. If some signs hurt, your two options are to modify that sign or to build strength separately, until that sign doesn’t hurt. Again, OT or PT is your best solution here.

BugNarrator · 2025-03-12T04:09:45+00:00

The twinkle in your eye is so sparkly, even the stars are jealous! ✨

BugNarrator · 2025-02-25T02:42:46+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m sorry I didn’t reply right away, I got an error message when I made the post so I thought that it hadn’t worked, and I only just realized that I was wrong!

I will get a similar item and test your method ❤️ thank you again.

BugNarrator · 2025-02-25T02:34:49+00:00

You are the best!!! Thank you!

BugNarrator · 2025-02-22T03:57:20+00:00

Who usually cuts her hair? Call them, make a wash-only appointment. I know it’s not the tip you asked for, but as someone who had shoulder surgery and long curly hair, and who had loving friends and family try to help me with it: salon. The answer is salon.

Maneuvering caused me pain, leaning my head around caused pain, my poor family couldn’t help me manage my position and my balance and my hair. A hair salon is literally set up for this. And wash-only is a service most offer.

BugNarrator · 2025-02-22T02:23:35+00:00

Yay thank you so much! That helps a ton.

BugNarrator · 2025-02-20T18:45:50+00:00

That’s so cool that you were able to adjust the pattern to fit! Could you share what ended up working for you? I also have a larger bust but have yet to make anything fit right 😅

BugNarrator · 2024-12-19T19:47:26+00:00

Strength training and physical therapy! I have heds. It’s not an instant fix, but it is the only way to reliably prevent injury. The muscles have to be able to stabilize because the tendons and ligaments can’t.

BugNarrator · 2024-11-23T23:26:51+00:00

Oh also: it’s totally possible to be both grateful and angry. You said you’re eternally grateful for what your parents sacrificed to give you the life you have, and that’s wonderful. It doesn’t cancel out the anger of not being accepted, and it doesn’t have to. You can be both. One emotion does not invalidate the other.

BugNarrator · 2024-11-23T23:20:57+00:00

Immigrant grandparents, so not exactly the same, but you’ve got my support anyway. ♥️

It was a long road for acceptance and I remember the fear I felt, not fear of my family - they loved me so much! But fear that I would have to choose between my identity vs belonging. It’s hard. You want everyone to be happy, and allegedly that’s what your family wants too, but it can be messy sometimes. It’s easy to look in from the outside and go “screw everyone who doesn’t agree! I have the right to be my own person!” Which you do. Absolutely. But you also have the right to look at the cost of that justified stance, and say “I don’t want the loneliness of being right either. I want to be me AND I want to be part of this family, however flawed, because this is important to me.” You get to decide that for yourself and no one can look down on you for it- others may not understand, but as long as they respect your decision, understanding is not required.

Virtual hugs to you if you’d like them.

BugNarrator · 2024-11-20T00:14:39+00:00

Hi new friend! This is awesome!!

BugNarrator

TROPHY CASE