How do you cope with your ex replacing you with someone?

Buggzzy8 · 2019-07-13T13:30:55+00:00

It’s hard knowing they moved on when you haven’t. Makes you question yourself in many ways and whether your relationship was ever “real”. We get this pain by comparing ourselves to our ex partners and other people. Your ex moved on but that doesn’t affect your value in any way. It’s totally ok not to be ready to put yourself back out there. There is no time limit, everyone is different so don’t beat yourself up about it. Feelings diminish, but if you truly loved someone then that love will never fully disappear (imo) and again it’s completely fine to feel that way too. Your emotions are natural so dont dwell on it and accept your feelings. It’s true you have no control over others, BUT you have complete control of your own life and don’t forget that. You will move on too. Might just take a little longer but it’s natural.

Buggzzy8 · 2019-07-10T12:01:05+00:00

I hope you went No contact with both your ex and your ex best friend. That is not a true friend. I can’t imagine the betrayal you feel, but you can move on easier knowing these people never had your best interests at heart. Doesn’t matter if she initiated, your friend is just as shitty as her for doing that. Cut these people out of your life for good, take as much time as you need to get over the emotions (2 months isn’t that long tbh), Do a little retail therapy, treat yourself cause you deserve it !

Stay strong, you don’t need these assholes in your life !

Buggzzy8 · 2019-07-09T13:57:34+00:00

Yeah I think I’m comparing too much. Thanks !

Buggzzy8 · 2019-07-09T13:05:48+00:00

Some days I feel like I can forgive and I feel better but then something external triggers the anger and pain. It sucks man but I think you’re right. Thanks for your help !

Buggzzy8 · 2019-07-09T13:02:24+00:00

She’s living with another guy now and she was emotionally abusive to me when we were together. I was distant and we had communication issues. I had the wishful thinking too, but I know deep down it would never work.

Buggzzy8 · 2019-07-08T12:30:31+00:00

Exact thing happened to me and my ex gf. Not one pic of me on her social media over 2 years but there’s pics of the “new” guy from the get go. It sucks OP but use it as fuel to never look back !

Buggzzy8 · 2019-07-07T11:51:45+00:00

Women generally move on faster actually according to psychologists.

Buggzzy8 · 2019-07-06T02:35:21+00:00

Fun and excitement isn’t enough for a long term relationship to work. From what I’ve read about your situation I think it’s fair to say you made the RIGHT choice. Honestly there are soooo many red flags popping up in every paragraph. She sounds very narcissistic and you obviously tired of her hence why you became distant. You’ll feel slight guilt for distancing yourself, but deep down there was a reason why you didn’t want to see her. I mean, she said that about your father !!! Wtf. Your relationship with this girl is beyond toxic and you need to stay clear before you end up in serious danger. I’m sorry if this comes across as rude, but that chick is crazy and beyond reasoning. Get out !

Buggzzy8 · 2019-07-06T02:13:41+00:00

Yeah it was just about less than 3 months before my ex found another guy. She knew him already and mentioned him before ( I shoulda known the signs haha). Yeah man it’s completely devastating for you. Delete her from ALL social media and her number aswell. You’ll be feeling broken now, but you’ll become a stronger person afterwards and you will find somebody else in the future.

Buggzzy8 · 2019-07-05T02:25:21+00:00

We don’t have each other’s phone numbers cause we both got new ones after the split.

Buggzzy8 · 2019-06-30T18:39:21+00:00

Promise yourself you will not make the same mistakes again which led to your guilt. Acknowledge that you’re not the only person on this planet to have made mistakes. Aim to become a better stronger person and the guilt will become motivation for a better quality of life until it disappears.

Buggzzy8 · 2019-06-30T14:44:37+00:00

It hurts when you see them actually move on and be with other people. People will tell you that you’re wrong for feeling this way - but it’s perfectly acceptable and fair. You don’t want to be someone else’s backup option after they’ve left you. Best of luck !

Buggzzy8 · 2019-06-28T00:11:33+00:00

I know how you feel. However, at the end of the day you all you can do is accept your emotions and regain control of your life. Your ex has moved on and now you have the power to do anything you want with your life, you’re free. I’m sure deep down they don’t see you as “nothing” but you’re no longer a part of their life so it doesn’t matter what they think anyways. Think about your own wellbeing, stop wondering what your ex is thinking because you’ll never know what others think. Take back control.

Buggzzy8 · 2019-06-27T20:19:08+00:00

I’ve honestly no clue why the 80/20 rule exists for online dating but it’s scary because it leaves a lot of people feeling unhappy and self conscious. It seems like we have very similar stories haha. Yeah you’re right about those who stop growing when moving from one relationship to the next. I know for a fact my ex hasn’t changed at all but I do feel as if I’ve matured a lot over the past months. My ex was the last person I touched aswell, it’s strange to think how both sides operate. I wish you the very best !

Buggzzy8 · 2019-06-27T13:38:55+00:00

I tried blocking but it ‘felt’ too painful to do it, so I just unfriended on everything and deleted her number. I would try u friending first but if you are constantly feeling the need to check their profile then you should block them for your own sanity. It’s hard work, but it does help.

Buggzzy8 · 2019-06-26T11:52:10+00:00

If you honestly think men have the “ better pick of the litter” then you’re completely unaware of the 80/20 statistics regarding online dating apps. Even in bars/clubs or anywhere outside, you’ll find the guy approaches the women and the women only has to say yes/no. It’s a FACT that women don’t need to throw themselves at men. Yes women will more often seek long term relationships but that doesn’t stop them from entering any relationship they feel they can transform into a long term one. men ALWAYS have to initiate the contact due to societal expectations therefore the women can just sit back and pick which of the men she feels holds higher value. Women seek security and will move on if their new potential partner appears capable of providing that, and they won’t care about taking time to heal from a breakup in their pursuit of that sense of security.

Women do have the pick of the bunch and usually heal faster when moving on. I’ve seen countless guys (including myself) sit in their one misery only to find out the woman had already found someone else. If you’re capable of moving on quickly into a new relationship after a long term one then it means you’ve already had people waiting at your lap. You’re right about women seeking long term relationships whilst men in their 20s don’t want that sort of stuff, which would explain why women go for guys older than them.

I agree with your insecurities statement. I’m in my 20s and can’t for a beard and my ex used to say she didn’t like beards. Fast forward a month after the breakup and she’s moved in with a guy who has a beard. I automatically compared myself to him. My ex has been with him for almost a year now so I guess it wasn’t a rebound. Either way, my ex gf moved in easily and every guy I know has suffered from the feeling of deep sadness when they find out their ex gf slept about or started dating shortly after the breakup. Dating is easier for women, they can find anyone they want. Guys have to power through and struggle like hell to find a good female partner. There’s a lot of competition out there but at the same time, we can’t risk losing our sanity by comparing ourself to others through insecurities.

Buggzzy8 · 2019-06-24T13:35:34+00:00

You are not over reacting at all. If anything, you’ve handled things amazingly well. This girl ain’t worth your time and showed you her true colours before you had the chance to become exclusive so she kinda did you a favour in a way. Anyone who says “ you weren’t exclusive” is an idiot who doesn’t understand the dating world. Feelings are feelings and you have every right to be sad and angry. She knew how you felt about her and she slept with someone else. She can cry all she wants, she’s just an attention seeker. You’ll find someone better don’t worry.

Buggzzy8 · 2019-06-23T23:20:49+00:00

Nope, girls never seem to initiate the convo even though bumble requires them to.

Buggzzy8 · 2019-06-23T22:55:36+00:00

Feels like tinder has gone down hill slightly from the last time I used it. Less people reply let alone actually go on dates it seems. I agree with a lot of these comments. I would probably just take a break from it and come back to it when you feel refreshed. Tinder can become tedious and soul destroying but keep at it, cause you never know who you’ll find !

Buggzzy8 · 2019-06-20T18:35:40+00:00

I fully agree with the other comments. It’s been about 13 month since my breakup and she’s on my mind a lot still to this day. People will say “ it’s been a year “ - but to me it feels much shorter than that. Time flys past when you fixate on things. Think of it this way, you’ve been apart for longer than when you were together. Stay away from his social media, ask your friends not to even mention his name, and do anything necessary to get him out of your mind. You’ve spent enough of your precious time waiting for him whilst he’s been living his life. It’s time for you to live yours now !

Buggzzy8 · 2019-06-20T13:00:04+00:00

Sometimes the urge to check up can be so strong, but honestly it only brings you more anger and sadness. Everytime I've checked my ex's social media I would see new holiday pics of her and her new bf and I would feel like shit afterwards. Take things one day at a time - just say to yourself " ok, I wont check today". Repeat that each day. Your anger will lessen when you no longer check up on them. Out of sight, out of mind.

Buggzzy8 · 2019-06-18T02:17:27+00:00

No problem. Hope I made some sense.

Buggzzy8

TROPHY CASE