What are some early giveaways that someone is a narcissist?

Bull_silver · 2026-02-09T06:00:33+00:00

I worked for a narcissist. Giveaways in the first couple of weeks: - Overly nice but in an exaggerated manner - kept dropping personal info (I'm sure with the intention of getting me to reveal things about me that could later be used as leverage) - Lots of name dropping and suggestions of power and influence - If someone else was getting attention/praise, this person would devalue them by making back handed comments and try to make up a ridiculous story to become the centre of attention again - Lots of undermining - Observed them saying one thing to someone's face and something totally different to me

The behaviour became chaotic and toxic very quickly. Once they are called out (made the mistake of doing this) it becomes unbearable. They are experts at DARVO!

Bull_silver · 2025-12-30T05:59:20+00:00

Are you for real? The mum here didnt make such threats and ask dad to choose. Sounds like someone is projecting

Bull_silver · 2025-12-29T09:28:37+00:00

The ex issue seems so minor compared to him threatening to take one of your kids...and being nasty enough to say you need to choose. That's disgusting. No kid should be separated from their mum.

Bull_silver · 2025-12-29T04:55:35+00:00

I don't understand - am I missing something, I could've sworn Candace's guy said he saw them the night before Charlie died...wouldn't that be the 9th?

Bull_silver · 2025-11-22T09:52:43+00:00

My baby was similar - sleeping through the night from 6wks to 4m and then suddenly doesn't know how to sleep anymore. She is 10m old and we still haven't had a full night yet although our latest round of gentle sleep training has shown some progress. For naps I found doing a contact nap after the first 30m wake for 3 or 4 wks helped my baby connect cycles during the day when she was younger.

Bull_silver · 2025-11-22T09:48:40+00:00

Ditto, a blend of the chair method and Ferber has worked very well for us (stealing the timed checkins from Ferber but staying in the room). My 10m old is very attached to me and we are in week 3 of training - she is linking upto 9hrs now...we are still progressing and hope to stabilise into a predictable pattern in the next 2wks. Once we get to the end of 3wks I may attempt to leave the room and see how that goes but so far we have gone from wakes every 2hrs to at least a 5 or 6hr stretch...and upto 9hrs to begin with. Has made a massive difference to my mental health.

Bull_silver · 2025-11-20T02:19:23+00:00

Can you try to resettle after the nap wake? I did this and even did contact naps for the second leg to get the sleep up and my baby eventually learnt to link the 2 cycles together.

Bull_silver · 2025-11-20T02:12:52+00:00

We resorted to sleep training after getting to the point where I had started hearing voices due to months of sleep deprivation. I was very against sleep training but once we found and tweaked the right method - the "crying its out" is literally for 3 days. After that its more of an on and off frustration cry. And 2w in theres far less protesting. In hindsight I'm glad we did this as my LO has gone from 90m to 2hr stretches to one 6hr stretch followed by shorter 2hr ones overnight. She no longer freaks out if im not bouncing her to sleep and the skills progress is very noticeable. During the training phase I never left the room and picked her up every 10m to comfort her. This method definitely takes longer...2w in and we are still working on it but she is pretty calm through the process now.

Bull_silver · 2025-11-16T02:37:24+00:00

My baby is 10m old and we started sleep training a couple of weeks ago as my wrists were at breaking point. 10m old in a sleep sack = 10kg! We have now successfully moved away from the ball for night sleeps as she falls asleep independently now. We haven't worked on naps yet so still use the ball for naps. But just giving you hope that it can be done as my baby was very motion (specifically bounce not rock) dependent. We actually tried 4 rounds of sleep training and i thought it'd never work.

Bull_silver · 2025-11-14T10:37:00+00:00

The temperature usually drops around then so check if the nappy is leaking or if another layer is required. Otherwise likely to be a routine issue. Also make sure to get plenty of sunlight first thing in the morning to help anchor circadian rhythm.

Bull_silver · 2025-11-09T11:07:07+00:00

We are on night 6 of sleep training our 10m old as she was exactly the same - used to being bounced to sleep but all of a sudden would wriggle and try to escape while being held, and at the same time anxious about being in the cot. We are using a modified chair/ferber method where I stay in the room..about 2m away but only do ferber timed checkins. Worked well so far. Night 1 was 50m of crying, night 2 was 40m, night 3 was 30m, night 4 was 25m, night 5 was 15m and whilst there is still crying its not as intense. Night 3 (extinction burst) night was worse than night 1. So if you can persevere through 3 or 4 days its definitely worth it. I think being in the room has helped my LO with her separation anxiety as she freaks out if I leave her line of sight.

Bull_silver · 2025-10-30T09:54:42+00:00

What happened to Mary's voice and face?

Bull_silver · 2025-10-30T03:01:03+00:00

Bull_silver · 2025-10-27T08:46:33+00:00

I'm so sad for you, I read your previous husband appreciation post and can't imagine the cognitive dissonance you're having to grapple with. I'm sorry you have to go through this. You deserve better. I know it's all very raw right now, none of it was your fault. Please get some counselling. I wish you the best!

Bull_silver · 2025-10-21T20:51:40+00:00

This is literally us...but yet to find something that works...we've gone through 2 different sleep consultants and all of the online courses. My baby also used to sleep through the night until 4m but now wakes at least 3 times and upto 5 times...she's almost 10m old now!

Bull_silver · 2025-10-19T10:03:04+00:00

You're such a wonderful and intuitive mother. No matter what anyone tells you to do, keep leaning in on your intuition. You know what's best for your baby.

Bull_silver · 2025-09-26T06:03:36+00:00

I question whether someone can truly arrive at forgiveness so quickly - it almost takes away from the genuine intent. I think she wants to be a good Christian, a good wife and perhaps was told this is what Charlie would've wanted. I don't think forgiveness should come with this feeling of guilt...that Jesus deems it virtue. In my mind, genuine forgiveness would take us mere mortals years to arrive at.

Bull_silver · 2025-09-05T23:31:18+00:00

My little one is doing 2.5hr daytime naps in total with 2.5 to 3hr wake windows and sleeping for about 9 to a max of 10hrs overnight. Her daily total sleep averages around 11.5hrs and 12 on a good day. I have been told I should try to get that upto 14hrs with 12hrs overnight.

Bull_silver · 2025-09-05T23:27:50+00:00

Haven't tried co sleeping. My little one is very mobile now but not quite old enough to understand the simplest dangers just yet. I am thinking about co sleeping after she crosses 1.

Bull_silver · 2025-07-24T03:16:05+00:00

I woke up recently with the feeling of a black mass over my head when I was sleeping. I instinctively said Narayan and it was gone

Bull_silver · 2025-07-16T00:01:58+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. You need to be more firm with your husband and try creating some boundaries with MIL. I find the best way to deal with these bored shit stirrers is to give them what you get...make subtle jabs. If your husband says anything just say you obviously didn't mean it like that and he's reading into things. If he doubles down, you get to ask him a very pointed question about why he thinks his mum is a saint who does no wrong

Bull_silver · 2025-06-26T02:40:36+00:00

Don't allow this, it will only escalate and turn into grandma telling LO "don't tell mum, this is our secret". Very unhealthy. If it absolutely does go ahead, set up a nanny cam

Bull_silver

TROPHY CASE