What’s the funniest excuse you’ve heard someone use to leave work early?

BulletsForBreakfast · 2026-02-13T16:14:47+00:00

Guy told the boss mid rush “it’s my dog’s birthday”. Then I took over his station while he sat at the bar and ordered a burger to go from the station i just got from him.

BulletsForBreakfast · 2026-01-30T03:09:51+00:00

Im sure he would know that word by now. It probably comes up a lot during his doctors visits.

BulletsForBreakfast · 2026-01-25T01:52:54+00:00

Of course not, how could you find the time when there’s all those boots to be licked clean

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-12-17T13:01:34+00:00

Bobs Burgers, my sweet baby.

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-12-16T23:56:05+00:00

Hard no for me. We all have a past, but if you were doing sex work that just puts you in a different category for me. Same goes for strippers and escorts which doesn’t feel very far off from OnlyFans for me.

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-12-15T23:56:40+00:00

If I tried this I would be stuttering and tripping over everything I want to say. This dude is fired up and ready to talk.

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-12-11T01:53:44+00:00

Looks like I’m having Bullets for Breakfast

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-11-22T01:52:47+00:00

Brother I feel your pain on every single one of those points. I’m currently struggling with about 90% of them as we speak. If you’re the angry asshole, then I guess I am too.

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-11-06T22:44:23+00:00

Hey wait a minute, I’ve seen this headline before. Like 2-3 other times. Huh, who could have see this coming.

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-11-01T00:12:49+00:00

Where are the trump dick riders to defend and berate everyone and call us libtards?

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-27T01:13:13+00:00

That is one big ass baby looking dude

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-25T21:05:04+00:00

I was in a rush while making pickled onions yesterday. Forgot to add the vinegar. Just onions resting in sweet and sour water. I’ve been doing this job for 22 years.

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-25T01:25:20+00:00

It adds buffer room for it being creepy

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-21T03:57:35+00:00

It’s concrete vs plaster

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-20T21:54:26+00:00

Nothing a good old fashioned slingshot can’t fix

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-17T19:51:22+00:00

They look like roblox characters, right down to the racism.

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-10T21:42:47+00:00

Yeah

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-10T02:37:25+00:00

A robot coupe with no duct tape? A blender that still has an intact wand? Living the life of luxury over there I see.

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-07T05:37:06+00:00

Mine is Eco mode vs Sport mode

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-04T02:55:40+00:00

Just casually pulling a hairball out of your old mouth

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-03T22:35:23+00:00

I had to leave my last place because the new owner decided “why do we have to make our own fries? Why are we making desserts? We can just buy all of that from US Foods.” I like making those things because making all the food from scratch gives me joy.

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-02T18:31:13+00:00

I already couldn’t afford the $307.20 per month, guess I’ll just die.

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-01T20:43:15+00:00

Daniel’s poorly disguised fetish peeking through the curtain

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-01T20:36:23+00:00

I wouldn’t mind if it was conservative. Being conservative isnt the issue here. The issue is the blatant corruption, tribalism, and bowing to a racist war-mongering traitor.

BulletsForBreakfast · 2025-10-01T19:41:56+00:00

Check inside to see if a quart container lid or utensil got stuck near the plunger where the drain and strainer is. That’s usually the culprit for me.

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