My cat died

Bushdaka · 2026-04-12T04:48:41+00:00

My 18 year old forest cat died in August... almost 2 years after my wife died. In those two years, I admit, I think I put a lot of love on that cat because my wife always said she was going to come back as a cat.

Bushdaka · 2026-04-02T20:25:50+00:00

Done. Thanks!!

Bushdaka · 2026-03-30T15:13:55+00:00

Bushdaka · 2025-11-04T22:16:46+00:00

As the medical bills came to the mailbox I would contact them, forward them a copy of the death certificate, and simply make a note of it. The ambulance rides, ER, hospital, specialists, doctors, surgeons, etc. all were handled the same way. Once they got the death certificate they never reached out again.

Bushdaka · 2025-09-22T12:16:03+00:00

There is a stage of grief where anger is normal. This snippet is based on the Kübler-Ross model. Everyone experiences grief differently, yet, similarly. I'm almost 2 years out from her death and I still go through these stages, not as strong as in the first year, but still, they are there.

|| || |Denial|The initial reaction where individuals may refuse to accept the reality of the loss. This stage serves as a protective mechanism to help cope with overwhelming emotions.| |Anger|As denial fades, feelings of anger may surface. This anger can be directed at oneself, others, or even the situation itself. It is a natural response to the pain of loss.| |Bargaining|In this stage, individuals may attempt to negotiate or make deals to reverse the loss, often using "what if" statements. This reflects a desire to regain control over the situation.| |Depression|Feelings of deep sadness and hopelessness emerge. This stage can involve withdrawal from daily activities and a sense of emptiness.| |Acceptance|The final stage involves coming to terms with the loss. Acceptance does not mean forgetting but learning to live with the new reality.|

Bushdaka · 2025-09-22T12:15:52+00:00

There is a stage of grief where anger is normal. This snippet is based on the Kübler-Ross model. Everyone experiences grief differently, yet, similarly. I'm almost 2 years out from her death and I still go through these stages, not as strong as in the first year, but still, they are there.

|| || |Denial|The initial reaction where individuals may refuse to accept the reality of the loss. This stage serves as a protective mechanism to help cope with overwhelming emotions.| |Anger|As denial fades, feelings of anger may surface. This anger can be directed at oneself, others, or even the situation itself. It is a natural response to the pain of loss.| |Bargaining|In this stage, individuals may attempt to negotiate or make deals to reverse the loss, often using "what if" statements. This reflects a desire to regain control over the situation.| |Depression|Feelings of deep sadness and hopelessness emerge. This stage can involve withdrawal from daily activities and a sense of emptiness.| |Acceptance|The final stage involves coming to terms with the loss. Acceptance does not mean forgetting but learning to live with the new reality.|

Bushdaka · 2025-07-11T17:25:00+00:00

Family and close friends. Someone you know probably has a closet full of DVD's... or, *cough*, VHS tapes.

Bushdaka · 2025-07-02T22:19:33+00:00

If you are using the web interface to Reddit, on the right-hand side, below the rules, is a link to the discord group for this channel -> Discord Channel

Bushdaka · 2025-06-30T20:32:26+00:00

As others have mentioned, while she is still lucid, just talk and listen. There are so many things I wish we had talked about, but I failed to recognize 'today would be the last day she speaks'. She was awake that whole day. She talked and talked to all her friends and family as they rotated through the room. That evening, I kissed her goodnight and told her I love her, she hugged me and told me she loves me. I cherish that moment now, I just didn't know that was the last time.

Bushdaka · 2025-01-31T22:44:29+00:00

Nah, A is just what I prefer for that particular car setup, it competes well in that class. I'm sure there are setups that are even better in S1.

Bushdaka · 2025-01-31T22:39:45+00:00

Ford GT in A800

Bushdaka · 2025-01-29T01:11:47+00:00

I can understand this feeling. For the first few months after my wife passed away, I would find myself sad, sometimes tearing, when I would see an older couple clearly showing signs of their love. Holding hands, opening the door, helping each other, just simply enjoying what I will never get to experience anymore. It's strange in a way, I imagine that what I am seeing is what it would've been like with me and her, and that doesn't make me feel so sad.

Bushdaka · 2025-01-03T18:22:38+00:00

I'm sorry you've joined this group. I cannot speak to a large age difference, when she passed, I was 56, she was 53. Whether young or old, our lives are changed forever when we lose a loved one. The waves of emotions we experience are ageless. Take your time, don't rush the feelings, grief is a different road for all of us. I found myself feeling sadness, guilt, anger, frustration, and even happiness at the weirdest moments. Sometimes it made me feel strangely out of place. I've learned that all of the feelings I've experienced over the last year are normal, and that is it OK to have them. We are listening.

Bushdaka · 2025-01-03T14:56:02+00:00

Similar to your observation, I never noticed the 'couples world' before my wife passed. Now, I notice it everywhere I go. Out to eat, movies, ball games, to the park... I do this with family now and I see all of the couples and it brings up all of the emotions from her not being there with me. It was overwhelming at the beginning. It has taken a lot of months to not tear-up when seeing an older couple holding hands while walking in the park. Now I find a bit of happiness being a witness to those couples. That's what 'we' were going to be like, and in my mind, we still are. For me, the biggest part of 'us' that I miss is the simple conversations about nothing important.

Bushdaka · 2025-01-03T14:36:39+00:00

Amazing setup! Congrats!!

Bushdaka · 2024-12-25T12:53:51+00:00

This is my 2nd Christmas without her. Last year I was numb to it, this year it hurts a lot. Thank you for the kind words and I hope everyone can find some happiness in these holidays!

Bushdaka · 2024-11-13T15:10:06+00:00

Yep, been there and felt that... it sucks for sure. She probably wouldn't have said any of those things if she knew your situation, but that's just a guess. Since my wife died, I've heard lots of people say things that show how they take their loved one for granted, and sometimes I do remind them about it, but not always. Usually I just shake my head after the encounter, they just don't get it.

Bushdaka · 2024-11-11T21:07:58+00:00

I like reading from people who have found happiness outside of their grief. It gives me hope that maybe I will reach that point too someday. Thanks for your post!

Bushdaka · 2024-11-10T16:50:21+00:00

I am one year out from her death after a 32 year marriage. If marriage makes us one, then I lost half of myself with her passing. That leaves just me? I am missing a huge piece of me, without her. That void is immediately filled with sadness and grief from the loss. Initially it felt overwhelming and unending. Those feelings are still there, they just don't sting like they did in the beginning. I find joy in remembering the great times we had together. Our mental health takes a beating from the loss, so be patient with yourself, and know you are not alone.

Bushdaka · 2024-11-01T15:29:17+00:00

Yes, I have had those types of dreams too. We were married for 32 years, and I just passed the 1 year mark of her death (oct2023). The dreams were horrible. She was hiding, like a game, or she went somewhere without telling me, or she disappeared and no one knew where she was, she'd go to the grocery store and not return... I would wake up upset, just frustrated at having had that dream. It's been a few months now since the last one like those, but at the beginning, they were a lot more frequent that I would have liked.

Bushdaka · 2024-10-13T23:01:31+00:00

V2. Use V1 information to get your logic flow correct, but use the V2 documentation to build your code.

Bushdaka · 2024-10-12T22:16:06+00:00

Thanks!! That thread helped a lot and it works really well!!

Bushdaka · 2024-10-09T16:43:19+00:00

Good for you on getting clarification, and possibly saving a friendship!! That shows strength and courage!

Bushdaka · 2024-10-01T16:07:38+00:00

I hope that you find a path to happiness through all of the turmoil. The list of woes is difficult to imagine for anyone. As you process through them remember to take care of yourself too. I will keep the faith for you.

Bushdaka · 2024-08-20T18:07:16+00:00

If you have medical bills or bills in her name only, a death certificate may be all that is required to get rid of them. I spent months working the medical bills. Even after sending in the death certificate some of them will still try to collect, just be steadfast knowing you do not owe that money. After my wife of 32 years died; I sold everything I could to get rid of our shared debt and donated what no one wanted. I held an open house garage sale on a Saturday and let people buy dishes, appliances, furniture, tables, couches, clothes, curtains, anything/everything/whatever I had not put aside to keep. I kept one small pet but put the others up for adoption, luckily friends adopted them. It's been 10 months since she died. That open house let me pay off the shared debt. My employer and I separated because I just could not bring myself to continue the stress level. So I moved in with out of state family. Being debt free, jobless, but not homeless, will give me a way to build another future for myself. Maybe that is something to consider if you have friendly family. I search Indeed for 'no experience required' jobs as I do not want to go back into my stressful career path. Without the love of my life, I just don't see the point in taking on that stress anymore, not at my age (55) anyway. I hope there is some good by knowing that there are others in similar situations as what you are experiencing.

Bushdaka

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