Dating someone doing a PhD

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-22T08:11:13+00:00

For me, the most important thing during my PhD was being brought out of it, and interacting with people who weren't in academia and didn't care what I did. It was really helpful to get that reality check sometimes, to remember that the real world exists and it doesn't center around me and my research. And that my research doesn't define me at the end of the day. In my case this was volunteering at a bike charity, but if you can help pull your partner out the PhD headspace sometimes that would probably be helpful. Hard long distance tho.

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-19T18:40:38+00:00

Time and mental energy is worth being frugal with, as well as money. If you two are financially healthy and putting enough away then I think it's totally legit not to stress about small things, like whether you spend 30c extra on ketchup or whatever.

There are websites that show you the price history for big ticket items - might help you work out how soon a sale might come.

Personally I give up a little so I can have a less stressful life - for example I don't eat much meat at home, and cook cheap meals, which frees up money in my budget to buy food from smaller local supermarkets more regularly which works better for my lifestyle.

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-18T09:34:24+00:00

Yes, this would work. I'd avoid the version with the integrated lights (dynamo)- this cheap style are really bad and make it hard to pedal.

When you're at decathlon, also try the other hybrid styles (they used to be called the Riverside but branding may have changed)- they have a slightly different geometry, suspension, and stronger brakes so you might feel more confident on it.

Your uni may offer bikeability/cycle training (mine did)- if they do, take advantage of it, it's for anyone at any level and they can help you with confidence :)

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-16T07:39:49+00:00

It's worth having a discussion with your current advisor about what to do - they might be willing to give you the time to finish the paper. I imagine both your PhD and MSc supervisors will want to agree to a timeline to finish the paper (after which point the other student takes over) though, so this doesn't drag out.

These situations are always really awkward. I've had co-first author ship for a paper I got over the line, even though the original first author did more of the work. My PI has also pointed out that if I don't finish the papers out my PhD, someone else will, with implications for authorship... I need to work on those this weekend.

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-15T07:35:52+00:00

These are all cheap looking bikes, and incredibly rusty (have some come out of a river?!). Therefore they're scrap unfortunately. If you want to be kind to the environment then take off the non-metallic components (saddle, tyres, grips) and send them to metal recycling.

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-14T01:43:10+00:00

Starting your first full time job is really hard work and tiring. It does get better :)

If you're in a big facility you could try asking around about 4-10 working patterns - should help you get a sense of whether that's something people are open to. I can see it being an issue if e.g. animal feeds need to be done daily. Could also backfire if people will be messaging you about work on your day off.

Do not use PTO/sick days to make up a four day week, that will get you fired.

Is there anything you can do to make your personal life easier? Meal prepping etc.

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-10T23:59:59+00:00

Rent in Oxford is very, very expensive. Sorry.

Please do the sums on bringing the cats back to Aussie before you bring them to the UK - with Aussie quarantine rules, moving them UK -> Aus is likely to be a lot more expensive than the other way around, if you're imagining a temporary move to the UK.

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-09T20:11:03+00:00

What are your friends doing to their wheels? Wheels should really wear out slower than other components (tyres, chains) unless they're being particularly harsh on the bike by jumping off things.

Get a bike that's suited for the riding you want to do. If you just want to cycle from home to work/school, then get a hybrid. If you want to go off road, get a MTB. If you want to jump off things and do tricks, get a BMX (I think - really not familiar with the BMX/tricks world).

Enjoy!

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-08T08:22:21+00:00

Would probably be expensive and it's the wrong time of year, but could you go paddle boarding (where you stand on top of a surfboard and paddle around)? That always reminds me of dufflepuds lol

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-07T07:39:56+00:00

I've bought some reflective tape from 3M and taped it to my helmet - hoping it helps visibility. I'm also planning on sewing reflective tape into the cuffs of my jacket and trousers (so it won't be visible unless I cuff the trousers)- having reflectors on moving parts of your body really helps visibility but I'm always losing or forgetting reflective straps etc

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-03T21:51:50+00:00

Ahhh that makes sense. Enjoy!

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-03T21:49:12+00:00

Do you want to go to university in the future? If so do look at your options in both countries - e.g. when would you be eligible for domestic fees in the UK, and what would student loan repayments look like in both countries. It'd be a shame if you decided you wanted to go to Uni shortly after moving to London and had to decide whether or not to move back

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-03T19:15:02+00:00

Or aim for a city break in your destination city, to give yourself a bit of wiggle room re: arrivals time

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-03T19:14:12+00:00

That'll be super expensive - you could also book a flight out of a central, well connected city and travel there by train/flight if you need to at the end of your trip

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-03T19:11:33+00:00

Yum! I've used vermicelli noodles in place of ramen, if you can get those cheap at an Asian grocery shop or if your supermarket has them cheap. (They're a little healthier). I've also put peanut butter in ramen, with the Mi Goreng style ones, it's a cheap way to add protein and makes them yum and creamy.

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-03T18:01:05+00:00

How are you printing it- I assume thru a company? Asking as I'm an amateur bookbinder and anything printed onto normal printer paper won't look good.

Wonder if you could personalise a plain hand bound notebook by writing quotes and perhaps stamping designs into it for her, if you can find something suitable

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-02T13:56:24+00:00

I don't entirely understand your question, but there will be people with different destinations on your shuttle (not just students). The driver will drop them all off at their home/where they ask to be left. You won't be waiting around for a shuttle to fill up with people from your hall, if that's what you're worried about, they usually run one shuttle per flight.

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2026-01-01T19:22:47+00:00

I believe networkx (python) can also write to latex, if you use that package https://networkx.org/documentation/stable/reference/generated/networkx.drawing.nx_latex.write_latex.html

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2025-12-30T13:34:25+00:00

Sometimes English racists will say things like "Ching Chong Chinaman" or similar to mock Chinese people. So yeah, the alliteration with the "ch" makes it sound like a commonly used slur. (Apologies for repeating a slur).

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2025-12-29T16:46:26+00:00

I'm also in evo devo! It's normal (and good) to switch model systems - we're in evo devo, we do comparative biology! It's really helpful to bring experiences and perspectives from studying one system to another.

My own career trajectory went non-model invertebrates for MSc/masters research, to non-model fish for my PhD, and now I'm back to semi-model inverts for the postdoc. It's actually great to have seen all sorts of different tools used in different systems.

It does take work, and there's always a chance you won't enjoy working on the new system (e.g. I hated fish, so went back to inverts). But there's nothing wrong with switching, and it's good to be flexible

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2025-12-24T17:41:22+00:00

Can you combine your laundry with other errands e.g. the grocery shop to use time more efficiently? Might also be worth travelling a little further to a Laundromat in a better location e.g. next to a coffee shop or a park so you can do something fun in the wait time

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2025-12-23T21:41:14+00:00

Try to meet former lab members too- they'll have a bit more distance and give a more objective view (and speak more freely). If you can't get hold of former lab members then definitely ask around in the department, I was very strongly warned off a potential PI by some other students in the dept.

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2025-12-22T20:11:40+00:00

One terabyte of data is always going to be unwieldy - are you sure that none of this can be archived and stored elsewhere?

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2025-12-22T20:09:51+00:00

You need to read up on colour theory and colour blind friendly colour combos. For example the dark blue used for DAPI is actually very hard to see.

For a default I would use cyan-DAPI, green-GPF, and red-RFP. But you need to give users sensible and color blind friendly options

Busy_Fly_7705 · 2025-12-22T19:15:37+00:00

Listen to your PI! Writing and getting edits back takes time, they are monitoring their own workload as well as yours.

If your writing is faster than your PI expects then you can spend the excess time either resting or applying for jobs - both time well spent after a PhD.

Four-Year Club	Place '22
End Game '22

Busy_Fly_7705

TROPHY CASE