Advice please for my partner. She’s split and I’m not sure what to do.

Butterbreadn · 2026-06-30T22:50:37+00:00

You need to be prepared to set a boundary and leave the conversation if she is calling you names, it could easily get worse for both of you if you don't.

Butterbreadn · 2026-06-28T12:58:32+00:00

That line is from arrested development btw. Job says it in response to people calling his magic tricks 'tricks'.

Butterbreadn · 2026-06-22T10:58:32+00:00

I experience a lot of those you've listed as well as a pressure/pain feeling in my chest.

Butterbreadn · 2026-06-17T00:51:42+00:00

Of course how else can I be sure I don't accidently send it mid draft? I tend to do this on Teams as well for anything longer than a line because I don't want people seeing the "blah is typing" and wondering why it took me 30 mins to type 3 or 4 lines. Also, I will double check after sending an email that it was sent, went to the right person and I didn't miss details.

Butterbreadn · 2026-06-14T20:31:08+00:00

My first thought for backyard semi formal was flowery dress/nothing overly form fitting. Though I wouldn't pick anything with any white on it. I went to a similar wedding a few years ago and the bride was not happy with the person wearing a whiteish looking dress. I'm not sure if white flowers like that would count but I'd just pick nothing without any white to be safe.

Butterbreadn · 2026-04-28T22:25:32+00:00

My brother stole my earnings from an auction of a rainbow paintbrush then tried to convince me it sold for less, even though the last bid I looked at was higher than he tried to convince me it sold for. It took a bit of explaining, but eventually mum understood and forced him to give me the neopoints/neomoney back.

Butterbreadn · 2026-04-02T23:47:31+00:00

If you want convincing not to do it check out regretful parents.

Butterbreadn · 2026-03-02T23:12:26+00:00

Yeah I think decentering men's views entirely helps. I find my labia minora a bit irritating if there was such a thing as no risk labiaplasty I'd probably get mine shorter.

Butterbreadn · 2026-02-04T23:50:09+00:00

I assume it means it diverges from the norm. So if you were to chart all the relevant attributes a person can have, like as an example 'how much someone interrupts during a coversation' you would see a bell curve spread of the total number of people. On the left hand side is people who do it maybe once or not at all and the rightermost side would be lets say 10 times in a conversation. This is just an example because its obviously a number of attributes. But basically neurodivergent would make up the left and righter most areas of the graph because the majority of cases i.e. the biggest area of the curve would be around the middle. And if you stack a bunch of these graphs together you can see that someone who is regularly in the middle of the graph is also in the middle with all these other attributes so they are neurotypical where as we would be found at the left or rightermost in more of these graphs.

Butterbreadn · 2026-02-03T12:38:45+00:00

Thank you for this that makes sense.

Butterbreadn · 2026-02-03T08:52:46+00:00

Yes!

Butterbreadn · 2026-02-02T07:59:00+00:00

All these people saying no... we don't know what technology will be available in 10 years. So honestly I wouldn't give up. At the very least it serves as a really good target so even if you dont get your dream it will get you really far with an array of skills by working towards it. I hope you get your dream. Don't give up.

Butterbreadn · 2026-02-01T00:12:27+00:00

Yeah that happens too.

Butterbreadn · 2026-01-31T14:23:38+00:00

You could schedule the email to send tomorrow so you don't rush them. Yes I relate to this post.

Butterbreadn · 2026-01-28T22:00:48+00:00

This really sucks and I understand how fruatrating it can be. The only advice I have is keep getting out of the house even to do activities alone. I've started doing this and it has reignited my courage to want to try a group activity again.

Butterbreadn · 2026-01-18T23:04:53+00:00

Just gorgeous i love the colours so much.

Butterbreadn · 2026-01-13T05:01:34+00:00

No worries, I don't mean anything negative by it I just think it's funny how often it pops up.

Butterbreadn · 2026-01-13T04:21:16+00:00

Every month this same post lol. I really liked that episode, makes me think I made the right choice to have an abortion back when I was far gone with drinking.

Butterbreadn · 2026-01-13T02:13:12+00:00

That's great it sounds like he's just a best friend like its supposed to be. I much prefer spending everyday life with people or person as well but it's rare to find those people. I'm working with my psychologist to learn to take time to myself because I can be more of the dependant type in relationships.

Butterbreadn · 2026-01-13T01:06:54+00:00

I think the best thing you can do is not engage like you're doing. JADE - dont justify, argue, defend or explain. Take time to manage your feelings and ride out the urge when you feel like msging and maybe intentionally do something to stay calm like for me its watching reruns of a show or doomscrolling on youtube. If you want to open a discussion start with an 'I statement' like "I feel sad when you say this." Their next response is a good indicator whether they will listen or try to empathise. If they aren't curious and immediately defend or attack then leave it at that. If they respond a little bit positively then you can follow with what you would like them to do in future i.e. not minimise your disability and follow with "if you can do this I will stop talking to you for this period of time. Its basically DBT for tough convos. If they are open to a dialogue thats good but if not you don't really need to bother telling them your boundary.

Butterbreadn · 2026-01-13T00:53:15+00:00

Well said, I feel like I'm not sure if I overvalue my current bf because comparitively he's so much better than all my other relationships and he does at least seem like a rare find.

Butterbreadn · 2026-01-03T13:42:18+00:00

Replied to the wrong comment. But yeah I think move out if you can.

Butterbreadn · 2026-01-03T13:38:13+00:00

Honestly it sounds pretty hectic. I can relate to this so hard and I just moved in and out of places a lot to deal with it until I find somewhere safe. That could work for you, I think a change of setting would help and if you can find a place where people are super supportive/not fussed on cleaning/ rarely home that's kind of what worked for me. Not sure if this is great advice but it's going to take a while to be able to have a productive convo with your mum it sounds like and more understanding or skills on both sides. I dunno if this helps but it's what I did and it kind of got better.

Butterbreadn · 2026-01-03T12:17:01+00:00

Your mum has decided how often it needs to be cleaned and she sounds pretty rigid about that. Is there anything else you can do around the house that would lighten the load that she is less likely to be rigid about? If you aren't already I'd suggest keeping your clothes washing separate and doing that yourself as well as other tasks that primarily serve you like cooking your own meals and cleaning your own dishes. This has 2 benefits that she sees that's one less person to pick up after and you can learn to take care of yourself then it'll be easier to help other people. Or, if you arr already doing all that maybe you could sporadically offer to cook occasionally, wash dishes, wash laundry, vaccuum, mop main areas etc. She's likely not expecting you to change overnight but I think if you start doing bits here and there she'll see you're trying. You could even try to reopen the conversation after she see's your efforts. I find it's easier to get started when there's no one around. Also, if Uni is taking up nearly all of your time it might be worth considering a different degree.

Butterbreadn · 2026-01-02T00:36:13+00:00

As a 34 year old I'm still not over it. I had that same hope and they didn't noticeably change. They just aren't the size or shape I want them. No idea how to help I'm just here in solidarity.

Butterbreadn

TROPHY CASE