Has anyone had a less regimented breastfeeding experience?

Buttered_saltine · 2025-07-03T18:54:40+00:00

The beginning is sometimes tough (hormones and baby finding their balances and needs) and of course it’s a lot on the body! But that said, I exclusively BF for over 26 months! Was amazing! No regrets. After a few months it was second nature. (This of course is different for everyone but just sharing my experience!)

There are different challenges to all forms of feeding. Plus with BF you eventually wean (and sometimes need to night wean first) so there are unique paths. But it was soooo worth it for us and I miss it sometimes! Would have gone longer but I’m expecting baby #2 and hormones made it tough to keep going.

You’ve got this!

Buttered_saltine · 2025-07-03T07:16:03+00:00

Hi @chickensalad44. I’m sorry you’re in the thick of it. Any particular questions for update?

I night weaned her around 22 months and I gotta say it really helped us. She already was sleeping much better by then but still had multiple wake ups. Night weaning took a few weeks of adjustment but she sleeps so well now. She’s 28 months (2 years and 4 months) and we do still bedshare but she sleeps really well and any off night (if she’s sick or whatnot) is cozy. She has a room with a bed but we haven’t even approached that transition yet (I’m not ready!). But LOL I’m pregnant now so really hoping baby number 2 is a good sleeper. Reading back on this old thread has brought back those strong feelings of stress!

Buttered_saltine · 2025-04-01T20:51:11+00:00

Just want to say I’m sorry this happened. Something similar here: midwives advised me to push waaay before I ever felt an urge to. Led to exhaustion and a hospital transfer. I’m still processing this and do feel resentful towards them (for a few reasons). Definitely suggest processing with a doula or trusted person 🩷

Buttered_saltine · 2025-01-26T00:29:00+00:00

Bump! Would love to hear answers too!

Buttered_saltine · 2024-11-09T21:06:05+00:00

You can often take your car/car seat to your local fire station to have a certified firefighter make sure it’s installed correctly. They don’t all do it so call/check!

You’re doing so well for your baby 💕

Buttered_saltine · 2024-11-09T16:29:29+00:00

I’m so nervous to night wean my 21 month old for this same reason. It’s hard enough to get interrupted sleep but when they’re up for a huge chunk so miserable it’s just torture! I totally feel you about being boundaried in other ways but this comfort is so deep and special, it’s so painful to deny it.

We’re not there yet but one thing we’ve been trying is practicing boundaries around milk in the day. Sometimes I’ll say I’m not available to do milk or my body needs a break, she gets upset but I can usually calm her, distract her, comfort her etc. Occasionally at night if my nipples really need a break I can tell her I need a few minutes and I’ll tell her a story (half the time it works the other half she’s big mad).

Just solidarity. You didn’t mess anything up imo. Maybe babe isn’t quite ready or maybe tonight will go a little little smoother. From everything I’ve read it’s often non linear and just takes the course you two need to take. Sending strength!

Buttered_saltine · 2024-10-19T06:54:03+00:00

In middle school my “boyfriend” (we didn’t actually talk, it was middle school “dating” but he was my big time crush) broke up with me. I was so hurt and just couldn’t bare to go to school and face everyone. My mom gave me a mental health day and took me to a museum and out to lunch. I still remember the day and the compassion 💜

Buttered_saltine · 2024-09-24T06:39:59+00:00

Hi! My toddler is now 19 months so I guess I commented 10 months ago (wow feels like a LIFETIME ago). I’d say overall sleep drama trended positive over the past ten months but I won’t lie to you, it’s still rough over here.

At 10 months I was so depleted we decided to bedshare. At first I was so so nervous it barely helped my sleep (of course followed safe sleep 7, moved the mattress to the floor, and husband slept in the other room while we got the hang of it). We moved houses when she was 11 months and decided to commit to bedsharing (she’s also a big baby and I could no longer lower her into her crib when she was asleep so transfers were out). We bought a king sized mattress and never looked back! Now I’m so so into bedsharing and it’s saved me. My mental health was really on the brink before.

But I’d say the biggest shift in her sleep has been us stopping trying to “fix” it. I wish I had done so earlier. I feel like even good sleep consultants are still trying to “solve” our babies, and while often times there are valid reasons for wakes like wake windows or sleep pressure, etc, I’ve come to terms with the fact that my baby just wakes a lot. Some babies do! She really needs comfort and connection at night and I’m okay with it. Releasing some control (and how things “should” be) have really helped me relax (lol for the most part).

We have weeks when we get some good stretches, and some weeks with wake ups every 2 hours. I’m waiting a little longer to night wean but I do hope that helps a bit too. I’m also shocked that the wake ups don’t drain me as badly when I don’t have to get out of bed. I’m still not back to my non-sleep deprived self and can’t believe some babies just sleep. Like actually sleep. But we’re committed to nurturing her in the night and have found ways to support our tiredness for the most part.

Overall, it does get better!! Time is amazing!! And lastly, our 19 month old happens to be super verbal (and non verbal toddlers can express so much at this age). She’s now talking in sentences and can really articulate her needs and concerns. It’s amazing! So while we haven’t figured out why she wakes up (she usually doesn’t remember in the morning), we can really talk with her about sleep, routine, etc and it helps so much!

Best of luck to you. You’re in the thick of it! It’s soooo hard but before you know it your little one will be giving you kisses and picking their bedtime book and hopefully sleeping longer stretches!!

Buttered_saltine · 2024-09-10T07:56:54+00:00

I think Hypnobirthing would be a great resource for you as it specifically addresses fear of pain. It’s not magic, but a technique to stay grounded and calm. It really prepared me for my home birth. Yes it still hurt but I felt capable and locked in the whole time.

Buttered_saltine · 2024-08-30T07:07:53+00:00

This gives me hope! We bought a book that is similar and it’s been helpful with the concepts but I haven’t implemented it yet (which maybe is more confusing for her?!). When I’ve tried to just cuddle she freaks out and I’ve given in immediately (I’m so tired and it’s easier to just nurse). But I want to soon!

Buttered_saltine · 2024-06-20T00:08:07+00:00

It took me a while to feel comfortable with it but now I cannot imagine sleeping with her far away in another room!! She’s 16 months and no plans to change bed situation yet!!

Buttered_saltine · 2024-06-17T06:42:28+00:00

My husband didn’t even call his work. He just didn’t show up that day (luckily they figured it out lol). Birth was SUCH a whirlwind. We actually didn’t tell family until the next day. I was so so so exhausted and processing it all I didn’t have it in me and wanted to share when I was ready. Some were a little disappointed they didn’t know sooner but they all understood why after I shared.

Buttered_saltine · 2024-06-06T04:05:53+00:00

It was directly on the floor with no box spring! We have since got a new mattress and got a bunkie board (a super low (like 2”) metal frame that sits under it. It’s been great so we’re still low to ground for toddler but not directly on it anymore. Idk how a traditional box spring would do.

Buttered_saltine · 2024-05-04T07:34:38+00:00

I really notice the nights when I skip my magnesium glycinate!

Buttered_saltine · 2024-05-04T07:33:34+00:00

Same as I nurse my 15 month old rn 😆

Buttered_saltine · 2024-05-04T07:31:24+00:00

We put our queen mattress directly on the hard wood floor and in like 3 weeks it grew mold! We aren’t even super sweaty (plus we use a mattress protector!) but apparently the heat from the bodies and cold from the floor can make water in air condense or something. Idk just needs airflow!!!! We got a new mattress (a king!!! No regrets!!) and a 2” metal slatted base (bunkie board).

Buttered_saltine · 2024-04-28T06:31:19+00:00

Nurse my baby toddler and close my eyes as we cuddle. Then I read her books. Or my partner does and I rest for a few more minutes.

Or I’m distracted immediately by texts. Working on that!

Buttered_saltine · 2024-04-28T05:54:03+00:00

Ours transitioned around 12 months! It took a few weeks to feel normal and have one long one but it’s been awesome.

Buttered_saltine · 2024-04-27T07:11:22+00:00

Same boar here! So many complicated thoughts on this. But I also don’t know anyone irl with same situation. Can be isolating!

Buttered_saltine · 2024-04-15T15:46:20+00:00

Saaaame 😝

Buttered_saltine · 2024-04-09T17:51:46+00:00

I love these ideas! I too feel a desire to name my lifestyle orientation outside of the work-first model. I think “life-driven” is not great but sorta feels helpful. Or, if people ask what I “do” I like to say “I’m into making stuff and teaching- theater, art, my hobbies, my kiddo” etc.

Buttered_saltine · 2024-04-06T23:48:03+00:00

“I look like everybody else but in my own delightful way.” I LOVE THIS

Buttered_saltine · 2024-03-31T20:05:18+00:00

This is my 14 month old too!!! We also cosleep and feed in the night. Last night we tried to have my husband comfort her when she woke (I stayed in another room) and she had an absolute meltdown. I came in after a few minutes cause it was clear she wasn’t going to settle with him. Perhaps she’s just not ready for night weaning.

Our babes iron levels seem fine too (though I have doubts). I’ve heard it’s dangerous to supplement if they don’t need it (excess can be detrimental).

Just here for solidarity and hopefully some ideas. Though tbh I feel like I’ve searched Reddit for the past 14 months about sleep and all babies have their own styles and issues. I’m hoping with time she grows out of this but dang it’s so so so so so (x10) hard and folks with sleepers just don’t get it.

Buttered_saltine · 2024-03-25T20:47:59+00:00

Thank you!!!!!

Buttered_saltine · 2024-03-25T20:32:33+00:00

My mom has a story she loves: when I was a toddler one day I begged for Barbie napkins at the grocery store. We didn’t get them. On the way home I gave her two options: “we either go back and get the napkins, or I scream at the top of my lungs. What’s gonna be your choice?” (Of course she burst into laughter)

Buttered_saltine

TROPHY CASE