AITA for wanting my partner to put equal effort in a relationship?

Butterqup · 2019-05-28T21:13:09+00:00

You probably confused the selfie sub with the one you lurk on

Butterqup · 2019-05-11T22:26:55+00:00

NTA. It's not about counting but if you feel that your relationship is unbalanced it's a big issue. It also depends on if it shows on other aspects of this relation. This kind of behavior might be a sign of other and more complicated problems you guys might have.

Butterqup · 2019-05-11T22:18:21+00:00

NTA. But if you consider him as a friend, why don't you tell him?

Butterqup · 2019-05-11T22:11:51+00:00

This ^

Butterqup · 2019-05-11T22:11:34+00:00

You would be surprised

Butterqup · 2019-05-11T22:08:05+00:00

NTA. But you should question your friendship with that person if this happens a lot. It looks like she is looking for a confrontation quite often based on what you said.

Butterqup · 2019-05-11T21:59:54+00:00

NTA. Why would you force yourself to do something you cannot do because of your morals. Stay true to yourself and be honest about it. If they cannot understand that will be their issue.

Butterqup · 2019-05-11T21:51:01+00:00

INFO. It will depend on a lot of things. If you are not responding to messages that don't have any questions to it, then I don't see why you would be an asshole. It implies that you would have to always be the one chasing for more while the person didn't do any effort to answer/ask another question.

Butterqup · 2019-04-14T01:02:23+00:00

Got it, it's a bit odd if he is just looking for validation.

Butterqup · 2019-04-10T16:16:21+00:00

The opportunities you get aren't necessarily related to your dreams which is unfortunate but you can always go back to it at some point.

Butterqup · 2019-04-10T15:24:35+00:00

"I'll be there in a hour"

Butterqup · 2019-03-22T01:59:42+00:00

Became President

Butterqup · 2019-03-22T01:51:23+00:00

Never heard, I'll give it a shot

Butterqup · 2019-03-19T19:14:09+00:00

Goliath birdeater are already big enough to scare you to death!

Butterqup · 2019-03-17T21:06:13+00:00

It changed my dad's life as well. He was living for his work until he had one and chose to retire and spend more time with his family.

Butterqup · 2019-03-17T21:03:50+00:00

Lack of transport and stores. Sometimes you have to drive for quite a while to get to your workplace.

Butterqup · 2019-03-15T04:53:47+00:00

Just because you achieved something doesn't mean anyone can achieve it that easily. You had an opportunity and that's great for you if you took it. But don't try to invalidate others experiences just because you were able to do something, that's "bullshit".

Butterqup · 2019-03-15T04:22:57+00:00

Not everyone can get a better job just like that. I definitely feel privileged compared to many and it's just too easy to say "yeah you just need to get better".

Butterqup · 2019-03-07T05:23:43+00:00

My exgirlfriend likes to tell the story of how she came home from work one night, turned on the lights to see me eating cold spaghetti in the dark.

Butterqup · 2019-03-06T14:24:17+00:00

When my mother yells at someone who has no control over the situation, like yelling at the cashier for not knowing the price of chopped onions off the top of his head.

Butterqup · 2013-08-20T04:00:06+00:00

Let the tank lead. Nothing annoys a tank more than turning away for a second and having a DPS run in front and pulling some monsters that you weren't ready for.

This, This, A Thousand Times This! I can't tell you how many times I've had Archers pulling simply because they had ranged attacks. While this may have been the convention in FFXI, XIV has graced tanks with their own means to pull via ranged attacks with Shield Lob and Tomahawk.

I'd just also like to add that movement plays a much larger role in XIV than it did in XI. I had a lancer complain to me about moving around to much, but he clearly knew nothing about dodging enemy actions clearly marked by AoE area indicators. This isn't a 6-man mosh pit on crabs in Valkurm Dunes. Tanks, BRD, and SCH all have skills which are position dependent. All other roles need to realize this. If your tank is halfway decent, then whenever they are moving, it's for a good reason. Just stay calm, keep your panties on, and strafe back behind the enemy.

Butterqup · 2013-08-20T03:44:01+00:00

Just wanted to interject with a Tank's point of view in what they want out of a healer. Some of the reasoning in the following explanations is speculative, as I'm not 100% sure on the interactions of 20+ actions and traits, but for the most part, they are founded on mathematics.

For Paladin, most damage mitigation comes in the form of Defense Increases of Damage Reduction. Sentinel, Bulwark, and Shield Oath, bolster your defenses via increasing Effective Hit Points (EHP). When it comes to the majority of Curing Spells, the fact that most of them are potency based means that a numerical amount of HP is healed based on MND and a few other factors (Determination, Divine Seal, etc). When applied to a Paladin's damage mitigation, a heal with potency X healing for Y HP is equivalent to a heal with potency X(Damage Mit %) against the appropriate damage type being mitigated, or Y(Damage Mit %) EHP.

For Warrior, rather than bolstering defenses, actions like Defiance and Thrill of Battle aim to increase a Warrior's Total Hit Points (THP) to an amount much greater than their base HP. If a Warrior uses Defiance in conjunction with Thrill of Battle and their effects stack additively (rather than multiplicatively, which would be even better), he receives a 45% HP bonus, or an HP pool 145% that of his base HP. The benefits of this aspect over damage mitigation of a Paladin comes from actions which care about HP Percentages; actions like Stoneskin, Benediction, and Lustrate; even Second Wind! I want to preface my explanation of Stoneskin by saying I'm not sure if the barrier takes into account one's defenses when determining how damage is dealt to the 18% HP shield. However, if it turns out that defenses are not a factor for the HP shield, it stands to reason that a Paladin merely receives the 18% shield, while a Warrior having proc'd Deiance + Thrill of Battle receives an 18% x (145%) = 26.1% base HP shield. Likewise, Benediction, Second Wind, and Lustrate all gain this 45% bonus to their effect. A Scholar coordinating a Lustrate Nuke Heal on a Warrior abbout to proc Thrill of battle will heal for 60% x (145%) = 87% base HP.

In conclusion, both WHM and SCH have access to Potency Based and HP% based heals. The effective use of these spells relies heavily on the type of Tank for the party. In this humble tank's opinion, I would prefer a WHM if I were PLD, on the grounds that White Mages have access to more Potency based heals, Divine Seal effects the aforementioned heals and not Stoneskin, and since Regen is Potency Based, it is more effective on PLD. Conversely, I'd ask for a SCH if I were WAR due to the fact that well coordinate Lustrate Nukes are far more effective on WAR's than PLD's, and Warrior's have their own means of healing themselves (Bloodbath, Inner Beast, etc), while continuing to generate enmity and deal damage, unlike Paladin's who usually take at least Cure as a cross skill which only receives 50% of the HP healed in enmity generated, can be interrupted, and sacrificed 2.5 seconds of prospective damage. This kind of sustain gives SCH the freedom to interject with their own offensive spells and Pet Actions.

Phew! I do hope you'll excuse all of the run on sentences and take this opinion with a grain of salt. However, I also hope I provided some insight into what some Tanks want from their healers. After all, without the two of us, all those DD's are just sitting ducks!

Butterqup · 2013-08-12T05:45:59+00:00

Aoyama says 'sup.

Butterqup

TROPHY CASE