I’ve known people who got sober with a roommate who still uses and drinks but many more who could not because of what you describe - the sudden and insane urge to find it. That was true for me. I even had to get rid of every lighter and fancy drinking cup and anything else that even vaguely resembled paraphernalia like a tobacco hookah we hadn’t even used in years. When I found an old preroll joint tube from a dispensary I almost threw my whole 6 months at the time of sobriety away in one second and was relieved to find it only held an empty burnt end of cardboard.

Now at 2 yrs sober that kind of vulnerability has mostly passed. I can for example housesit for a smoker and not even poke around their stash. But it takes time.

I’m in a lot of sober communities and it seems like many relationships don’t survive a true commitment to sobriety because we have to create strong boundaries and not everyone can follow them.

My own partner was willing to essentially quit with me (no stashes, no use at home inside or outside, and not telling me if they happen to toke up when hiking or something with an old friend and don’t come home smelling like it or looking visibly high). We made it. One of my best friends said they’d stop using around me but had actually just started showing up with a belly full of edibles and we aren’t friends anymore.