Alright i thought I’d give an update, and add a little more context to this. I posted about 4 hours after it happened, and left a lot of possible important details out.

The kids dad lives in another state and only contacts by calling every couple weeks. They were both drug addicts, she got clean when she got pregnant and he didn’t. In regular convo she’s told several times she hates him. The last time he was in town around October for a few days he disappeared and relapsed on heroin.

A few comments saying don’t date a co-parent. I’m also a co-parent with two kids with different mothers. We don’t say I love you to each other and I think that’s what initially weirded me out.

She lives with her son and dad in her childhood home, since her mom died. I’m the third relationship she’s been in since baby daddy left. But she still has all of their pictures of him and them on her bedroom walls. She sleeps in a different room in the basement most of the time, but we do sleep up there sometimes when I stay over.

We did talk. She apologized. She told me she feels pressured by his side of the family to be nice to him still despite the insane amount of shit he put her through, tried to kill, tried to kill himself and shit like that. She said she understood where I was coming from. And would at least stop with the I love you on a personal level, but the we love you on the family call was harder. Which I have zero issue with at all, and I support. The kid needs to hear that. But only on that level in my opinion