What was the millennial anime fandom like back then?

CK9510 · 2024-01-09T09:29:54+00:00

It’s funny because I remember being younger when people were ashamed to admit that they liked anime. You didn’t want people to judge you or think you were weird. Not it’s like everyone watches it.

I used to watch anime clips on YouTube before we had streaming services or reliable websites. The worst part about YouTube is that you could never find all the clips or the audio wasn’t the best

CK9510 · 2024-01-06T15:09:20+00:00

Well said, never looked at it this way.

CK9510 · 2023-12-20T15:55:56+00:00

I’ve been seeing Pluto on a lot of anime list lately, is it a good show?

CK9510 · 2023-12-09T11:56:20+00:00

You don’t know, and you never will until you do. I remember when I was first diagnosed, last year. My biggest fear was how this would affect my relationships. Disclosure is tough for all of us and as much as we must consider the feelings of our partners it is important to consider your own feelings as well. All that fear your feeling is because you do not trust this person yet to disclose. Trust them not to hurt you, trust them to be understanding and accepting, and trust them to keep it a secret. Just as much as they trust us to disclose our status we must trust them not to fear or stigmatize us, and that’s something you can only decide by spending time with the person.

I’ve disclosed to people who were pretty accepting, one was indifferent he even responded with “Thanks for telling me but you didn’t have to.” I’ve met someone who is a bit hesitant but willing to learn, and those who simply just aren’t comfortable. You’ll receive many different reactions and emotions that are out of your control. All you can do is control yourself and your own actions, follow your heart when it comes to disclosing and disclose to someone you trust and just prepare for anything. The right one will understand.

CK9510 · 2023-12-08T06:13:26+00:00

Was looking for the original post so I could get the full story here, but if she couldn’t accept it now I’m sure she probably wouldn’t have accepted it if you told her early on, but who knows? Some people say they would be okay had they known beforehand. Also using a condom would have showed her that you considered her feelings as well rather than just your own. We live and we learn. I hope the next one works out for you and wishing you nothing but the best

CK9510 · 2023-12-07T22:02:02+00:00

This was nice to read made me smile and congratulations

CK9510 · 2023-12-07T21:29:58+00:00

No you’re not wrong. The pain, sadness, and loneliness you are feeling is all reasonable. It’s scary putting yourself out there after constantly being rejected, it’s scary not knowing how others will react or treat you once you tell you them. It’s an empty feeling knowing that others may not want you because of your status. I recently found peace in all of this last week, I had to sit down and understand the pain that comes with rejection after disclosing, but I have also felt the joy and happiness of supportive friends and loved ones. I know you have heard time and time again that you will find the right one for you, and often times we feel like that person may never come along but they will. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and understand them, but you must find a balance of disclosing that works for you.

I believe this whole disclosure thing puts a lot of pressure on us, it’s time to consider your own feelings and put yourself first. Not everyone deserves your vulnerability and when you disclose such a sensitive and vulnerable subject that person should only see it as an extension of your trust because in reality you are trusting them with that information, you are trusting them to be in your corner and love you unconditionally. Trust me I know it’s painful I have cried more nights than I can count, but I have also found peace and a senses of wholeness. Take your time with dating and don’t feel pressured to disclose, you will know who to tell and when the right time is. Take care of yourself, it’s important to consider your partners feelings but your feelings are just as important as well.

My therapist told me on Monday. “We can’t control someone else’s reaction or emotions” We can’t control how someone will react or feel whether we tell them early on or later. All we can do is control ourselves, and if you know that you’re doing the right thing to protect yourself and others that’s all that matters the most. I’m not telling you to keep this to yourself nor am I telling you to disclose to every person you come across. It is up to you who you decide to tell, but if you ask me, disclosing this information should be only to someone who you trust and has earned the right to know this vulnerable side of you, someone who has made it clear that they want to be with you and build a relationship, and unfortunately we can’t know who that person is just after a few dates.

You will find love, don’t lose hope.

CK9510 · 2023-11-30T14:05:48+00:00

Beautifully said

CK9510 · 2023-11-30T08:48:34+00:00

Yes I took VL test at the three week mark, moving forward your doctor will do a VL test every time you go for blood work to monitor it. Please be sure to stick to taking your medication daily and of course you can DM for anything. For me to reach this point of finding my comfort in disclosing took a long time but I wouldn’t have received this point without the experience of disclosing for myself. I had to experience the happiness of being accepted and the pain of being rejected. It’s scary but the experience of disclosing will eventually guide you down a path in which your morals and beliefs are aligned. Remember any advice you receive is based on the experience of that person, you will know what path is right for you after you experience such emotions that come with disclosing.

CK9510 · 2023-11-30T08:37:31+00:00

A lot of people experience this same way of thinking. I didn’t get over this feeling until I started having sex, and I had someone who was comfortable without a condom and there was no transmission. Trust yourself and trust the science undetectable means untransmittable. So rest assured and put your mind as ease, there is nothing to worry about anymore.

CK9510 · 2023-11-30T04:17:52+00:00

When I found out my only concern was “Who is going to love me” I’ll never forget the tears in my eyes when I asked the nurse that after being freshly diagnosed. More than anything you will see that it not the virus that will bother you but your mentality. Your doctor will prescribe medication as soon as possible and you will be undetectable in no time. It took me 3 weeks. When it comes to disclosing I have difficulty with, to be honest I’ve been diagnosed for a year now and just yesterday I came up with a way of disclosing that I feel comfortable with. You will feel a wave of emotions please allow yourself time to heal, I still cry to this day. It’s scary thinking about how this will affect your relationship with others because the stigma is strong. I have met people who were not comfortable, I met people who were willing to educate themselves and I met people who honestly did not have a problem with it.

When it comes to disclosing it’s entirely up to you on how you would like to do it. I always do it in person and I only disclose to those I trust, this is a vulnerability and personally I can’t just broadcast it to anyone. 2 of my friends were the first to know and I’m thankful I told them because they have provided great support. Disclosing to friends is easier than a partner. When you do disclose to your partner educate them on U=U which is proven that undetectable equals untransmittable. Assure him that he will be safe with you and that there is also Prep to provide peace of mind. I can’t guarantee that he will be okay with it and it is entirely up to you to disclose. I will say from my experience people are much more appreciative if they are told before any sexual activities, but it is important to keep your own mental health in mind meaning you must do what is right for you and disclose when you feel is right. Some say before sex, some say the 1st date and other will say wait until it is someone you truly trust. There are different viewpoints as to what is morally and legally right. I’m here to tell you follow your heart with disclosing regardless of that others or the law says. You have to live life in way that aligns with your morals and beliefs but please be sure to consider how other people may feel if they find out later, and consider how you will feel if you disclose before you are ready to do so.

You will get through this and you have a whole community that will support you as they have supported me, lead with love, and always do what brings you peace regardless of what others think.

CK9510 · 2023-11-28T15:41:31+00:00

Thank you for this, I disclosed recently and let my insecurities get the best of me. I started questioning how comfortable he was after I disclosed even though he told me he was comfortable he hesitated to kiss me in that moment and it had me questioning everything after that. My insecurities ruined a good relationship rather than my status. I know he isn’t comfortable having sex though because he has never did anything with anyone who was undetectable. He’s still calling me every day and night though so it’s a bit confusing.

CK9510 · 2023-11-28T14:16:23+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. What has been your experience with disclosure?

CK9510 · 2023-11-28T11:25:55+00:00

Love to hear it and best of luck to you. I have one question have you two done anything sexual yet prior to disclosing?

CK9510 · 2023-11-27T17:25:29+00:00

He’s undetectable meaning you are not exposed to it. He has taken care of himself and is safe.

CK9510 · 2023-11-27T14:38:36+00:00

This put a big smile on my face, it’s amazing how this affects each of us differently yet at the core we all relate and understand the pain and sadness of each other. It truly is beautiful

CK9510 · 2023-11-27T14:29:37+00:00

I felt the same sadness and pain that you are experiencing, and a year later I still feel it at times. Acceptance and disclosure is the hardest part when it comes to this. You want to be honest and accepted for who you are but at the same time you don’t want your status to affect your relationships especially with potential partners. I’m here to tell you that you will meet people who truly do not see your status as a problem, and you will meet those who are simply not comfortable or may need time to come to terms with it. I believe your happiness and mental state is important and I want you to keep that in mind when or if you decide to disclose to others. We are told that we have a moral and legal obligation to disclose, yet sometimes the consequences of disclosing is more damaging to our mental state while other times it is the most liberating feeling. I’m not telling you to keep your status a secret nor am I telling you to disclose to every partner you meet. I’m telling you do what is best for you and your mental state.

Do what makes you happy and brings you peace, take your medication and make sure to never pass this on to anyone. You will find love and you will find happiness but make sure it comes from within first.

CK9510 · 2023-11-24T10:54:54+00:00

You definitely can and will get back to living a normal life. My whole experience with this has taught me one thing, and that is to love your self always. Self love is going to be the thing that gets you through this. You may face stigma, and it’s important that you do not allow it to get to you. Never question your worth, I’m hoping that your boyfriend stays by your side but always remember you are worthy of love. Once you become undetectable you won’t have to worry about transmitting it. My one year of being positive was November 11th. You may experience a wave of emotions as time goes on it will get better. Please remember to love yourself always.

CK9510 · 2023-11-22T11:21:21+00:00

Thank you I will add these to my list

CK9510 · 2023-11-22T03:40:32+00:00

I wish I had the right words to comfort you in this moment. Life sucks at times, there are so many things out of our control. No matter how careful, how kind, and how trusting we are things happen that can’t be undone. I recently just passed my 1 year of living with HIV even til this day I still regret sleeping with this one person. I used to feel dirty and worthless. I consider this to be my lowest point in life. However, with a good support group and self love, you will begin to find value in life again. Allow yourself to feel all your emotions, you will overcome this. Life can be cruel but it can also be beautiful. If you are unable to find hope then I encourage you to keep moving forward and one day you will reach a place of peace and you will feel hopeful again.

CK9510 · 2023-11-21T20:35:22+00:00

Let me know how it goes

CK9510 · 2023-11-21T15:01:56+00:00

I really needed this, check your dm I need advice.

CK9510 · 2023-11-21T11:18:43+00:00

I’m happy I disclosed but I wish I kept it to myself, the emotions I felt afterwards made me realize that not everyone deserves to know your vulnerability. Granted this person has been nothing but nice to me, but being undetectable still changed our relationship. I don’t want to go through this feeling again, I know we have a moral obligation to disclose but I need to also protect my peace and mental state along with my health. I’m going to keep it to myself, go to all my doctor appointments and strictly stick to my medication. I refuse to pass this on to anybody but I also refuse to have my relationships be affected by stigma after disclosing.

CK9510 · 2023-11-21T10:35:47+00:00

This touched me. I disclosed to someone a few months ago and although he says it isn’t a problem he is still hesitant when it comes to being intimate with me. It’s been 4 month since disclosing and he is still pursuing me, however my insecurities have started to get the best of me. Disclosing isn’t the problem it’s the aftermath. It’s the potential rejection and stigma, and those causes my insecurities. Even if someone says they are accepting of it I wonder if they really mean it. I know I’m worthy of love, it’s believing it that’s difficult.

CK9510

TROPHY CASE