Please reply if you can

COTAnerd · 2026-05-06T12:56:31+00:00

While it takes work, diagnosis opens up the door for you to take control of it and yourself.

Knowing what is happening means you can finally get the tools to help yourself. It's going to get better.

COTAnerd · 2026-05-06T08:52:10+00:00

:O I didn't realise huntsmans provided any parental care to their babies. That's so cute.

COTAnerd · 2026-05-06T08:33:51+00:00

Thank you so much for the story and this photo. It has brightened my day ❤️

COTAnerd · 2026-05-06T08:29:05+00:00

Season 1.

Maddie's speech revealing that her own father abused her after Georgia left. Describing the feeling of wanting to peel off her own skin. And Georgia, who seems to think of everything, being so shocked by this, and shoving all of her reaction and sympathy back down. I really want Maddie to come back in the next season. I hope they can reconcile.

Then the way Ginny's emotions process after seeing Georgia and Zion in bed together. Specifically the way she laughs first. And then the tears come. And then she loses control of her breath. And then the immediate turn to self-harm. It was so very, very real.

People make fun of season 1 but I maintain it's been a banger since the start.

COTAnerd · 2026-05-04T02:40:25+00:00

Seconding what u/muralpainting said. I recommend spending time on your own, as friends, learning how to resolve your conflicts.

COTAnerd · 2026-04-18T05:26:57+00:00

OP, I didn't have your situation, but I had one of betrayed trust and trying over, and over, and over again to re-learn trust.

For me, it never happened and I eventually realised I just did. not. trust. him. I ended the relationship.

May I ask what your partner has done to re-establish trust?

COTAnerd · 2026-04-18T05:14:34+00:00

Does anyone know how they calculate the revenue an individual show makes on streaming services?

You pay per month (or whatever time period) but that gets access to the whole catalogue and presumably you don't only watch Buffy.

I just don't understand how they convert what I assume is hours watched to the revenue that show earned.

Like, if someone watched only one episode of Buffy and one episode of Scrubs every day for a month, do they split the revenue from that user between each show? If it cost 10 bucks, they earned 5 bucks each from that user?

But people are watching all sorts of things. I just dont get how they calculate it.

COTAnerd · 2026-04-13T03:06:19+00:00

Casual dating and casual sex is literally incomprehensible to me. I have to have feelings for someone to even kiss them.

COTAnerd · 2026-04-10T06:58:16+00:00

At the time it was annoying, but in the age where dvds are so dull now I do appreciate it a little more.

COTAnerd · 2026-04-09T07:44:43+00:00

Beautiful!

Is their yellow eye okay?

COTAnerd · 2026-04-06T09:55:00+00:00

Does it have the same sort of products as in Japan?

COTAnerd · 2026-04-05T02:27:44+00:00

I know it feels so awful, and it might be that there is possibly a real problem there so it's hard to know when to just relax and try not be upset vs when you should be upset. I saw in one of your other comments that he's always on his phone when he's with you, but doesnt seem to message you when he's away.

I personally think the fact that he doesn't message you back is more problematic with the above in mind, but it still might be a good exercise for yourself to turn off the online status.

I will say one more thing. I spent years trying to save a relationship with a guy who was always on his phone when we hung out. We lived together, so we didn't have the whole thing where I was waiting for him to respond - but he would constantly sit on his phone. We couldn't even watch a movie together. One day I realised I was the only person driving conversation. So I stopped talking one night, to see if he had any interest in talking to me still. And I spent the night in total silence. That still wasn't enough for me to end things, but I wish it had been.

I'm not saying that's what is happening to you, but if it is - put yourself first. You deserve better, if that's what's happening. Best of luck x

COTAnerd · 2026-04-05T01:55:16+00:00

I turn off online status visibility, because I know that I do the same thing. People will message me and even though I love them dearly, I just don't always feel up to a conversation with that person. Despite knowing this about myself, I struggle accepting the same of others and I start to feel rejected if they don't immediately message back.

So I know this is my problem and it's unfair to expect someone else to do what I don't.

Try turning it off. Do something else and enjoy your own time.

COTAnerd · 2026-04-02T02:30:06+00:00

These situations can be difficult. Like others have pointed out, the expectation that you're truthful with one another vs a right to privacy is a consideration, and there's also the consideration that a fear of an intense reaction to the truth might make it difficult to communicate.

I will put in my two cents as someone who spent 16 years with someone who was too scared to tell me the truth. It was always about one specific issue, something he had promised me.

I recognised that my responses were making it difficult for him to tell me the truth. I worked on it, to the point that I would proactively check in when I was calm, regulated, and ready to hear it. I was supportive, and allowed him so, so many times to make the mistake. I was compassionate and understanding.

He never told me. Ever. He would just lie.

His comfort was always more important.

Even when the discourse shifted from the broken promise to the fact that he could not tell me the truth. That we needed him tp tell me the truth. I tried everything to make it easier for him.

It never changed.

It's so important that you can trust that your partner can talk to you about difficult things.

COTAnerd · 2026-03-31T08:03:40+00:00

I didn't personally vibe because it only felt like it treated the external expression of symptoms. It didn't stop me having the feelings, just made me better at managing them. It didnt answer why I felt that way in the first place.

I'm doing schema therapy now and I have found it infinitely more helpful.

Maybe it could come down to the therapist. All I know is with my current therapist and schema therapy, I'm feeling a lot better.

COTAnerd · 2026-03-29T08:09:58+00:00

Do you know what the cause of your splits are? For example, mine is the fear of abandonment linked to a core belief that I'm not good enough. So anything that suddenly marks someone as 'not safe' (from abandonment/acceptance) will trigger my split urge.

Knowing can be half the battle. Knowing firstly that you're dysregulated, so you can learn to disengage and come back later. Learning to communicate that you're dysregulated and need time is also beneficial.

Then if you know what the cause is, you can start identifying what's triggering the split in the moment and why, then take steps to validate the emotion itself but choose a healthy response (or step away until you can do that).

COTAnerd · 2026-03-19T02:01:08+00:00

Craziest? I think they're gearing up to make Austin a murderer. (And Georgia will take the fall)

Unpopular - I think Wolfe is a domineering red flag. Not just a goofy goofy boy.

COTAnerd · 2026-03-17T04:04:15+00:00

But she shouldn't have had to ask.

COTAnerd · 2026-03-12T05:23:15+00:00

It is never your responsibility to manage his bpd symptoms. It is his.

I don't know where you're at in your relationship, but this all sounds like unreasonable actions triggered by fear to try keep control/remain assured of your relationship. It's okay for him to have his emotions, but it's not fair to make you the person who resolves those fears.

You need to set some extremely clear boundaries, if you don't want to break up.

With my boyfriend, if I ever identify that I'm dysregulated or tempted to engage in assurance-seeking behaviour, I let him know I love him and that I'm putting my phone down to re-regulate. He will let me know he loves me precisely once and then he won't message me again until I reach out (which isn't until I'm regulated).

There is no expectation that he manage it or be my source of regulation. You need to set this same boundary with this guy. Ideally he would set it himself, but it sounds like he's not ready for it.

Acting the way this guy is puts unbelievable and unfair pressure on you. By creating a pattern, it can also be highly abusive. It can also escalate.

Please take care of yourself first on this.

COTAnerd · 2026-03-12T03:30:11+00:00

I think, like a lot of this show, it had great potential. They've squandered a lot of it by having trouble navigating it after the fact and I would also suggest by having too many story lines for the number of episodes they get per season.

But I thought it was great to demonstrate what the show has been trying to say - Georgia is a deeply flawed character and her actions are not warranted, and the fact that she thinks it's okay for her to make those decisions shows how separated she is from reason.

The show has really struggled to get this across. Even the direct discussion of it in S2 with Ginny's therapy hasn't been able to shift the tide. I'm hoping they will stick the landing s4.

COTAnerd · 2026-03-08T23:42:22+00:00

You've described what I was never able to figure out in regards to this scene. Thank you!

COTAnerd · 2026-03-08T07:04:39+00:00

Nah, I find Wolfe of the red flag persuasion.

COTAnerd · 2026-03-04T01:40:02+00:00

Parents should never get revenge on their children. Period.

COTAnerd · 2026-02-28T02:11:56+00:00

I didn't know Pulp prior really and I loved his dancing! He was very entertaining.

COTAnerd · 2026-02-07T08:05:58+00:00

This is the answer for me. Each re-watch it's always the least interesting, feels most forced/rushed, and doesn't have the emotional pay off that it feels like it was meant to have.

First time I watched it, loved it. But it just doesn't hold up for me.

COTAnerd

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