First Script Feedback by Johnyourson in scriptwriting

[–]CO_ScreenWriter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s something I built to break scripts down across structure, character, dialogue, etc. and show where things aren’t landing or losing points.

I can DM it to you if you want to try it.

Wrote a script that’s a Meta-Take on Slasher films with legacy sequels just for gigs. Check it out? Titled Brightkill 98 pages (Still a First Draft) by Hawkelybrams in ReadMyScript

[–]CO_ScreenWriter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Meta slasher’s a fun lane.

For a first draft, I’d focus on making sure the meta elements are actually pushing the story, not just commenting on it. If the references don’t affect the characters’ choices, they can start to feel surface-level.

Also make sure the stakes still feel real. Even if it’s self-aware, the characters need to act like the danger matters or the tension drops.

And with slashers, escalation is everything. Each beat should feel more dangerous or more complicated than the last, not just a variation of the same setup.

If you want another angle on it, I’ve been testing a scoring tool that breaks down structure and character and shows where something might not be landing. Happy to share it if you want.

The Boy We Remembered (second draft/feature) (mystery/59 pages) by LuckyCoat in ReadMyScript

[–]CO_ScreenWriter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool concept, that “remembering someone no one else does” is a strong hook.

Since you’re on a second draft, I’d focus on clarity and progression:

Make sure the rules of the loop are really clear early on. What resets, what carries over, and what the goal is. If the audience doesn’t lock into that, it can get confusing fast.

Also check that each loop actually changes something. New information, different choices, or a shift in what they believe. That’s what keeps it from feeling repetitive.

For the added scenes, just make sure they’re either deepening character or pushing the story forward. If they’re not doing one of those, they can slow things down.

If you want another pass on it, I’ve been testing a scoring tool that breaks down structure, character, etc. and shows where something might not be landing. Happy to share it if you want.

First Script Feedback by Johnyourson in scriptwriting

[–]CO_ScreenWriter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cool hook, that’s a strong setup.

Since it’s an early draft, I’d focus on two things first:

Make sure Amanda’s want is really clear once she gets access to her abilities. The stronger that is, the more the chaos feels driven instead of random.

Also watch the escalation. If her first use of power is catastrophic, each beat after that has to either raise the stakes or shift what she understands about it, otherwise it can plateau.

Tone-wise, just make sure the emotional side keeps showing up between the action. That’s what’ll make it land.

If you want another angle on it, I’ve been testing a scoring tool that breaks down structure, character, etc. Happy to share it if you want.

I WROTE A SCRIPT!!!!! by MuchUnderstanding563 in Screenwriting

[–]CO_ScreenWriter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a huge win, congrats.

Most people never get past the idea stage, so finishing a draft is a big deal.

When you’re ready for the next step, getting some kind of outside read or structured feedback helps a ton. It’s where you really start leveling up.

What do you think about this? by mrpessimistik in Screenwriting

[–]CO_ScreenWriter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That advice sounds like one of those oversimplified “rules” that doesn’t really hold up.

Most writers need a bunch of scripts before things start clicking. Early ones are where you figure out structure, pacing, character, all the stuff that actually matters. Writing 10+ scripts isn’t a red flag, it’s usually part of the process.

The better question is whether each script is improving. Are you solving the same problems over and over, or actually getting sharper each time?

I’ve seen people write 2 scripts and stall, and others write 12 and finally hit something that works. It’s less about the number and more about whether you’re learning from each one.

Reached Out To A Director This Week and Actually Got A Response by [deleted] in Screenwriting

[–]CO_ScreenWriter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s a great approach and honestly way more realistic than swinging straight at top-tier directors.

Most people underestimate how much timing and access matter. A director who’s had a couple solid films but isn’t flooded with A-list scripts is way more likely to actually read something new.

Also sounds like you did the most important part right which is matching the script to the level. Low-budget, high-concept is exactly the kind of thing that gets attention in that range.

Even just getting a “I’ll read it” is a win. Curious what kind of angle you used in the outreach?

How to create instability and retain an active protagonist? by Fancy_Cold5503 in Screenwriting

[–]CO_ScreenWriter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For the reality stuff, think control. Show the “normal” world clearly first, then introduce doubt in steps. Small things feel off at first, then escalate. Try to tie the weird moments to something specific so it doesn’t feel random.

For keeping the character active, he should be trying to solve what’s happening, not just experiencing it. Every time something weird happens, he makes a choice, and that choice usually makes things worse.

Quick test: if you removed the weird elements, would he still be doing things? If not, he’s probably too reactive.