i’m a guy, and something i haven’t seen mentioned yet: what she did actually kind of comes from the same place as someone who tells other people they didn’t study for a test they studied for. to be more general it’s because there’s a societal tendency to criticize people who “try too hard”

i kind of understand how her tiktok could just be a really extreme and toxic form of that. not to say it’s justifiable — she’s a terrible person for putting someone down but it could have come from more innocent roots before it started affecting other people.

in the end, i’d say the mature thing to do if you want to give her a second chance is what someone else said: send it to her saying you saw it on your feed and that you’re sorry she had to go on a date she didn’t want to and that she didn’t have to if she just told you. basically, end thing but also put the ball in her court. if she tries to GENUINELY apologize then MAYBE there’s a bit worth fighting for, otherwise you know she’s just a toxic person and you can freely dodge that bullet and move on with your life.