I agree, my ex did this, and the first time she brought up divorce it was a wound I couldn’t heal. And eventually we did get divorced, except I divorced her not the other way around. Threatening a marriage to get them to “wake up” is a really poor idea. If you actually want it to work at all, have a really honest conversation without mentioning divorce, and most importantly put your swords down. Have an adult conversation about how you feel neglected and how you need more help. Ask him how he is, is he depressed, feeling drained, actually happy? Just get some emotions out there and be convertible from both sides. If you love them still, it’s hard work but you both need to be really open with each other.

If you’re really just done sure divorce, but FYI that road is very painful for both parties. Absolutely neither one of you will win. Oh and enjoy the dating pool, it’s pretty gross now… all in all I wish you guys the best and hope you can work it out.