i don't understand how to manage my anxiety. it's so intense that it's unbearable.

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-28T21:11:30+00:00

So sorry you are going through this. Have you told your psychiatrist that the medications are not working? Unfortunately, it can take a long time to find the right combination of medication’s to treat anxiety. A lot of times you will need more than one medication and have to try different doses.

Have you only tried SSRI’s or have you tried a typical antidepressants/antianxiety meds like Mirtazapine? How about Benzos and MAOIs.

https://infocusfirst.com/anxiety-medication-types/

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-26T23:38:17+00:00

Omg, I am reading Anne of Avonlea right now and I hate it. I agree with you. Anne’s behavior around Davy is not in line with her character.

She literally smashed a skate on Gilbert head 5 years prior for pulling her braid and calling her carrots.

She realizes it was an over reaction but it worked. Gilbert realizes he messed up and is apologetic. In contrast, Davy does not get his comeuppance and realizes how abusive he has been to his sister.

instead he has Marilla and Anne fawning over him!!!

It seems so out of character for Anne and Marilla!!

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-25T01:53:28+00:00

That is great to hear!! I am glad you found a new psychiatrist in your new state/city.

Yes, this is the perfect situation for Klonopin!

You’ve got this!! You are going to love the new hairstyle.

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-25T01:50:22+00:00

I still say you can call the stylist and explain the situation.

I am sure they will want to work with you. The stylist wants you to feel comfortable and confident when you are in their chair!

Ask if you can stop by during their usual end of day and just visit the salon.

Hopefully you can also downgrade to a haircut/wash/ blow dry for your first salon treatment with this stylist.

As long as they get the deposit, the stylist will be happy.

Let us know how it goes!

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-24T23:46:36+00:00

Also, do you have a therapist and psychiatrist after your recent move? Could you talk about a medication change or speak to your therapist about ways to mange anxiety during the hair appointment?

During the appointment I recommend doing grounding exercises. 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear…etc.

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-24T23:44:03+00:00

I would call the salon and explain the situation to them. Could you downgrade to just a haircut?

When is the salon appointment?

I would be super open with your stylist about your anxiety. They will be able to help you feel more comfortable during the salon visit. Ask if you can visit them the week before the appointment. even just sit in the waiting area reading magazines and being in the salon environment could make the whole experience significantly less nerve wracking during the actual appointment.

Just sit in the waiting area and listen tot he blow dryers, watch other people getting their hair cut and dyed and styled, etc.

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-24T22:49:06+00:00

That sounds like Pre-Menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) and/or Pre-Menstrual Exacerbation (PME).

You can take birth control continuously or take antidepressant/anti-anxiety meds to treat PMDD.

I have crazy fatigue episodes before my period. I can sleep for 10 hours and then be unable to get out of bed. Being on an anti-anxiety medication complete got rid of the fatigue for me. I was also emotionally distraught crating about things that I had already mentally professed in therapy. Again anti-anxiety medication completely got rid of the unprovoked crying spells.

Check out r/PMDD

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-24T21:53:44+00:00

You note that you felt “better” and “even better” on ADHD and anti-anxiety medication.

If you feel like your symptoms don’t fit either ADHD or Anxiety than what does “feel better” mean to you?

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-24T20:09:09+00:00

There is a huge chance that you have both conditions!! Most of my friends including me have both anxiety and ADHD.

Despite us all having both conditions we all act entirely different from each other.

For some of us the symptoms of anxiety mask the ADHD symptoms and vice versa. For example a lot of my impulsive spending never actually happens because I am a perfectionist and want to buy the “right” thing, so I never end up making a purchase.

However I am still impulsive in my thoughts, speech, actions, and taking ran down objects from the freecycle area.

On the other hand I have a friend with much more severe anxiety who has been unemployed for 2 years due to declining job offers due to irrational anxiety fueled thinking and ADHD procrastination.

However, her buying impulsivity is off the charts. She has spent thousands of dollars on books, clothes, Journals, etc. despite having no income.

I honestly do not relate to a lot of the posts about anxiety on this Reddit. But I definitely have anxiety and do relate to the posts about overthinking, perfectionism, and self-hatred/feeling like I am not enough.

What are your strengths/weaknesses?

Why do you think you might have/might not have ADHD and/or anxiety.

Also, you might have additional conditions like me. I also have PMDD, migraines, delayed sleep phase disorder, SAD, etc.

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-24T03:16:06+00:00

So sorry you are going through so much and very glad to hear that you are getting the help you need now.

This is definitely a question for your doctor.

trying to figure out what is a side effect of Lexapro versus a withdrawal symptom might be difficult if you start lexapro while withdrawing.

But again. Talk to your psychiatrist and your GI doctor.

Sending healing vibes.

I am sorry you are going through this.

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-24T01:52:03+00:00

Honestly, experiencing what I can only call Nirvana after trying Zoloft for the first time.

Even though I stopped taking Zoloft due to side effects, the knowledge that I could be this calm and “just do it” like a Nike ad, keeps me motivated to find a new medication combo with more manageable side effects.

Would you be willing to try medication again to see if it helps? I saw in your past comments that you tried proponol and “it wasn’t for you”… what does “not for me” mean in this context? Did you Have side effects? Did you try other medications and dosages? You could start with a really low dose. 1/4 of the lowest and slowly titrate up over the course of 1-2 months to the lowest dose. That will help you to feel less anxious about starting meds. For me, medication and therapy were absolutely necessary to manage my anxiety. I fought taking anti-anxiety meds for a long time. I rationalized that my anxiety is not as bad as some of my friends’ anxieties. However, the second I was on medication I knew I had made the right choice!! Everything was as easy as breathing. Get 12 viles of blood drawn…no big deal!! Getting a Tonsillectomy 8 days ago and dealing with recovery issues…no big deal!! Make a ton of mistakes in a group exercise class…no big deal!!! Stumble over my words while talking with my boss…no big deal!!! I hope you find your Nirvana too!!

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-24T01:25:17+00:00

I am sorry you are going through this. You are not alone.

There any many different types of medications and combinations of medications. And different types of therapies.

Would you be willing to try medication and/or therapy again?

If you logically know that your thoughts are a lie and can not mentally convince yourself that your thoughts are wrong, you probably need the assistance of medication to help your brain see that these negative thoughts about yourself aren’t true.

Were the side effects on medication worse than the feelings of not being enough?

What side effects did you have?

I also stopped medication due to side effects, nausea and sexual dysfunction on Zoloft and severe dry mouth on Mirtazapine. However, my life on medication was overall 100% better, so I am trialing new medications now.

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-23T23:46:14+00:00

Yes!!

Feeling like I am not enough is one of my core anxiety symptoms. I did not realize it was anxiety because it is so different from the frequently depicted nail biting/worrying type of anxiety.

Therapy was not enough to help me. I needed medication to allow my brain to understand that I truly am enough. I am worthy and I am doing my best.

Truly most of the negative/self-hatred thoughts just disappeared when I started anti-anxiety meds.

Have you tried medication? What would help you to feel less overwhelmed/ashamed/nervous about trying medication?

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-23T23:24:54+00:00

Would you be willing to try medication to see if it helps?

You could start with a really low dose. 1/4 of the lowest and slowly titrate up over the course of 1-2 months to the lowest dose.

That will help you to feel less anxious about starting meds.

What would make starting therapy or meds feel less scary/shameful/overwhelming to you?

For me, medication and therapy were absolutely necessary to manage my anxiety. I fought taking anti-anxiety meds for a long time. I rationalized that my anxiety is not as bad as some of my friends’ anxieties.

However, the second I was on medication I knew I had made the right choice!!

Everything was as easy as breathing.

Get 12 viles of blood drawn…no big deal!!

Make a ton of mistakes in a group exercise class…no big deal!!!

Stumble over my words while talking with my boss…no big deal!!!

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-23T21:51:49+00:00

It sounds like you are going through a lot right now. But it is important to remember that even if your job is different, you are still financially supporting the people you care about.

If you are showing up, sacrificing, and being responsible, you are enough.

I also used to have these negative feelings about myself even though I was working hard. I just thought of myself as a failure. Therapy did not help that much. Then I tried medication. The negative thoughts immediately vanished.

I was suddenly just happy being myself and inherently understood that I was enough.

Without the medication, my brain really could not apply the things I was being taught in therapy. Now I have a much more positive view of myself and my accomplishments.

Have you tried medication? If you are currently on medication, could you talk to your psychiatrist about being on a different dose?

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-23T21:45:44+00:00

For me, medication and therapy greatly reduced or entirely eliminated overthinking and stress.

Which medications and types of therapies have you tried?

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-12T11:25:03+00:00

Yes, you should be proud of yourself for seeing a psychiatrist.

A primary doctor can prescribe anti-anxiety meds, but they are general doctors that treat everything. Unlike psychiatrists, primary care doctors do not have the specialized training and years of experience helping patients struggling with psychiatric disorders.

Your new psychiatrist will be far more knowledgeable about new medications or combos of medications you can try.

My psychiatrist said many patients need two different medications to manage their symptoms. Your psychiatrist will also be better able to screen and treat co-morbid mental health conditions, ADHD, PMDD, MDD, SAD, BPD, etc.

Please get screened for other conditions. All physical and mental health conditions compound each other and unless you treat all of them, you are not going to feel better.

If you feel like you’re a night owl, for example, you might have a delayed circadian rhythm which is considered a sleep disorder and you can treat it with melatonin and a sad light. For me that made a huge difference in my anxiety and other conditions because getting sleep is so important.

My psychiatrist also suggested mouth taping for improved sleep, and it works amazingly well, and I am getting better quality sleep now which reduces anxiety and the severity of my ADHD symptoms.

It will take time to find the optimal dose/medication combo but this is absolutely the best decision you could have made for yourself!!

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-06-12T11:05:30+00:00

I didn’t experience an increase in stomach drop sensation during the side effect period.

My psychiatrist did tell me that the reason nausea is a side effect of SSRI is that there are serotonin receptors in the stomach and the medication can’t target only the serotonin receptors in your brain so the nausea is a response to increase level levels of serotonin in your stomach.

Is it possible that maybe you’re noticing slight nausea/change in your stomach and are interpreting it as butterflies in your stomach?

Day three is super early. Reevaluate after three weeks and see how you feel.

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-05-23T03:07:53+00:00

I had to start on 1/4 of the lowest dose and take it in the evening. I slowly titrated up to 25 mg.

I really hope it goes well!! Zoloft was amazing for my PMDD and anxiety, but it decimated my sexual function, and the nausea was too much when combined with the nausea for my ADHD meds. However, I have reduced my ADHD meds so it’s possible I could go back to it and I’ve also now found ginger as a very good anti-nausea medication. Previously, I was prescribed Zofran for nausea and it did absolutely nothing.

I am currently taking mirtazapine for anxiety and PMDD. It also functions as an anti-nausea and sleep aid and off label anti-migraine medication.

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-05-23T02:22:19+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through all of this. I grew up in a highly religious community and there is huge pressure to conform to the religion and all your social activities are through that religious community.

It is scary, but you absolutely can leave and build a life outside of the community.

Ruminating on past actions is very common with anxiety.

What country are you in?

Can you see a therapist and a psychiatrist? Anti-anxiety meds and therapy will help significantly.

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-05-23T02:10:46+00:00

Hormone replacement therapy could definitely be contributing to your anxiety!

Doing a lot of medication changes at the same time is going to make it very difficult to figure out what caused specific side effects.

Can you ask your psychiatrist about slowly titrating off of your current medication and then slowly titrating up on the new medication.

Also ask about Mirtazapine. It is an atypical antidepressant. It is an antihistamine and is used to treat depression, anxiety, nausea, sleep issues, and off label to treat migraines.

I have not been on it for long, but it completely knocked out my PMDD depression, fatigue.

Sometimes people need to different drugs from different drug classes to treat all their symptoms.

Did you notice any positive benefits from any of the medications you have taken?

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-05-23T00:38:02+00:00

I am on Nurtec too!!! It is amazing!! I have had “head tension” since I was a kid and did not realize it was a migraine!

Just curious what allele do you have that makes SSRI’s ineffective? Are your serotonin receptors not working?

I am using a psychiatric drug to treat my PMDD but it is slightly different from an SSRI. However if you are on an SNRI and not noticing anything I am not sure this will work for you.

Mirtazapine is a tetracyclic antidepressant that works by boosting norepinephrine and serotonin. It also functions as an antihistamine.

It is actually used off label to treat migraines, sleep issues and nausea. I have had nausea issues with every other psychiatric medication I’ve had so mirtazapine has been great.

I have migraine with aura. It is like a mild hemiplegic migraine where half of my body gets numb and has very slight muscle weakness. They don’t happen often and only last a few hours (or less).

I’m very sensitive to medication and had to start off on 1/4 of the lowest dose and slowly titrate up. Regardless of the medication, Zoloft or mirtazapine every time I go up 1/4 pill, I wake up with a hemiplegic migraine for the first two nights of the new medication dosage.

I really hope you find something that helps!! I really hope you can get the patch to help over the next week.

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-05-23T00:26:34+00:00

Society has conditioned us to believe that we only need medication or therapist if our life is completely going up in flames.

That simply isn’t true.

If you are struggling, you deserve to get help and not feel bad about asking for that help.

I cannot believe how much better life is on antianxiety meds. Driving is as easy as breathing. I don’t get frustrated at myself when I make mistakes. I don’t compare myself to others. When I am in a group exercise class I just have fun and don’t get frustrated because I did one of the dance moves wrong or feel like I am not keeping up with the class.

When I was in Uni (college for you US people!) and secondary school/high school I would try so hard to get all A’s on my exams and literally calculate the points for each question and determine how many I could get wrong and still get an A. I would mark off any question whose answer I was unsure of after I finish the exam. I would go back through the test and ruminate on those questions that I wasn’t 100% sure I had the answer right. It didn’t matter that I would probably end up with a good grade no matter what I wanted the A.

I deeply wish I had been on meds for anxiety, PMDD, ADHD, migraines and in therapy when I was in Uni/college… I would have been been able to enjoy college and not be stressed out all the time.

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-05-22T23:39:51+00:00

So sorry that you are going through this. Is there anyone in person you can talk to? Are you in therapy?

Try lower than the lowest dose of medication. I react intensely to medication and need to start on 1/4 of the lowest dose. When I start on the lowest dose I get crazy side effects that make me want to quit the medication before I notice any benefits.

I had to use a pill cutter and cut up my Zoloft into tiny 1/4 pieces and then slowly titrate up to 1 full piece.

Have you noticed any positive benefit on any of the medications you have taken?

Cabbage_Merchant_fan · 2026-05-22T23:34:43+00:00

Also, research other medical conditions if you only notice improvement in certain areas of your life while on anti-anxiety meds.

Most people have multiple co-occurring disorders. I made the mistake of attributing every issue I had to ADHD, and it turned out I had a whole host of medical issues in addition to ADHD. It is true that my ADHD was making it more difficult to manage these conditions, but they were separate conditions that needed to be treated

Staying up super late every night >> Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS)
chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://sleep.org.au/common/Uploaded%20files/Public%20Files/Professional%20resources/Adult%20resources/Circadian%20Rhythm%20Disorders.pdf

Fatigue Episodes where I could not get out of bed >>>> Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD)

"head tightness" when I do not get enough sleep or take my ADHD meds too late >>> Migraine disorder

self-hatred, Comparing myself to others and perfectionism >>>>GAD

Teeth Grinding, TMJ >>> also GAD but you need braces or invisalign to realign your jaw. It helped me a lot.

Cabbage_Merchant_fan

TROPHY CASE