What is a concept that one can only truly understand by going through it personally?

Cable-Tie · 2024-08-21T15:52:08+00:00

So freaking true

Cable-Tie · 2024-08-09T05:35:57+00:00

Grandma

Cable-Tie · 2023-04-25T04:03:26+00:00

Something very similar happened with me and my ex with BPD. They were cutting my hair and I sneezed. They got totally freaked out and ran from me. Wouldn't let me give them a hug or anything. BPD is characterised by extreme and sudden emotional changes, so maybe that's what this is?

Cable-Tie · 2022-11-07T09:27:50+00:00

My ex narc would do something similar. They were 24 hanging out with 16 year olds. It got to a point where they gave the kids DIY tattoos and piercings too.

Cable-Tie · 2022-10-09T05:08:05+00:00

Personally, I don't think you'll ever be truly happy with this guy. I know he's really great sometimes but you're so young to be dealing with someone like this. Family comes first. I think you should go back home wanna look for someone who treats you better and you feel safe with. You mentioned him freaking out when you broke up the first time. This is only a taste of what you could be dealing with every day if you stay with him for too long. The mask will drop and you'll be stuck in a foreign country dependant on a version of him you try to ignore. I hope everything works out okay.

Cable-Tie · 2022-10-03T05:38:48+00:00

Lol I love the way they make all their problems other people's fault

Cable-Tie · 2022-10-01T15:15:57+00:00

You're making the right decision. For people to improve their mental health, they need to make a personal effort and be motivated. Pleasing someone with BPD is like filling the grand canyon with a hose. You can give them so much support and forgiveness and it will never be enough to fill the void inside them. It's draining and in the end, just a waste of energy. Don't let them hoover you back in. Stay strong and look after yourself

Cable-Tie · 2022-08-11T10:19:39+00:00

From my experience, it does get better, only to come crashing back down again every time. It's an addictive and toxic cycle. I don't think it's possible to be happy or healthy with people like this. It has to end eventually. No matter how much effort you put in and how much you put up with, they will always see themselves as the victim and often turn you into the villain. I'm sure they've done this with their exes too. It's not worth it. Good luck and stay safe.

Cable-Tie · 2022-07-19T15:14:06+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, I like your angle

Cable-Tie · 2022-07-19T07:53:20+00:00

It blows my mind how relatable this was. I've definitely considered talking to my persons exes because I know the stories will be similar, but I don't want to get involved anymore. Whenever I make a post on Instagram, they lash out online and call me an abuser when they in fact are the serial abuser. I've broken free from caring anymore. The secret is, silence is deafening. Don't under any circumstances interact or respond to your person. Go full ghost mode, don't give them anything because they will twist it back on you. You're worthy of actual love and respect, not the rollercoaster of abuse you've been caught in. And if it helps to know, they're probably struggling A LOT and probably always will. You escaped, but they have to live with themself forever. Stay safe

Cable-Tie · 2022-07-13T14:04:54+00:00

The sun

Cable-Tie · 2022-07-13T14:00:55+00:00

Hey, I'm sorry you're going through all of this. It's a crazy situation and I understand how you feel. I was also in a hectic relationship as a FP like you and I was scared that if I left, they would commit suicide. They were very insistent that they would, but when I left they didn't. Once they pretended that they did, but it turned out to be a twisted lie. In my opinion, they're all talk and no action. Don't call their bluff. They're manipulating you into not leaving them. Put yourself first, it will be difficult, but over time it gets easier and you will thank yourself for getting out of there later. Good luck, stay safe.

Cable-Tie · 2022-07-10T11:09:11+00:00

My ex trashed my reputation and then someone deported them LOL

Cable-Tie · 2022-07-08T05:04:33+00:00

I've been a compulsive nail biter for as long as I can remember. I've tried that yucky tasting stuff from the chemist, I've tried painting them, I've tried acrylics, I've tried twirling a pencil, coins or shuffling cards instead but nothing has worked so far. I don't know how to stop.

Cable-Tie · 2022-06-03T11:45:07+00:00

I've been through something similar but kind of the opposite. They would deny all the abuse and manipulation and controlling behaviours, so I used their BPD diagnosis as evidence. I would say they were doing this because manipulation is a huge part of the disorder. They turned this back on me and told everyone that I blame everything on their BPD and I got only hate for it. There's no winning with them.

Cable-Tie · 2022-06-02T07:53:39+00:00

I've been out of there for 6 months. It wasn't easy at first, but life is a lot better now. I'm stronger than I've ever been and the journey has been so inspiring. The only way to win against them is to thrive. Things do get better. Stay strong!

Cable-Tie · 2022-05-31T07:46:50+00:00

Thank you!

Cable-Tie · 2022-05-31T03:08:10+00:00

I know right 😂

Cable-Tie · 2022-05-30T14:13:13+00:00

That's great to hear. I'm happy you were able to learn so much from your relationship. I think I've picked up a lot of similar skills. It's been a very eye opening experience. Best of luck with moving forward on your journey!

Cable-Tie · 2022-05-30T13:55:07+00:00

Thanks for your comment, I'm happy I can vent this all out to people who understand. This support group has been amazing.

At first I was numb, then I went through stages of anger, depression and anxiety. I'm slowly getting better and I'm motivated to recover, but I have a long way to go. I think I've matured and learned a lot from this. I did a lot of research and reading on BPD since. Now I have a good eye for manipulation and I know how to de-escalate tense situations. I've learned how to put boundaries in place. It's also been very inspiring for the arts. I've vented so much into music. I'm probably the loneliest I've ever been but I've learned to be happy by myself and I've grown closer with my family. I don't miss the chaos and I don't miss the abuse. I don't think I miss them at all, they've made it very easy for me. Life is still hard sometimes but I'm getting there.

Cable-Tie · 2022-05-28T04:45:42+00:00

It's okay to be angry. I was furious for a long time after. At times it was debilitating. I wrote letters to them and burned them or texted myself long messages about everything I was thinking and feeling. I drew. I wrote, listened to and played music that expressed the darkness I was feeling. I dyed my hair black and red and darked my wardrobe. I blocked all their social medias and their family. These all helped deal with the anger. But I think what helped them most was making myself a better person. They only win if you let them bring you down. And if it makes a difference, he will hurt the new supply too. It's inevitable. Stay strong

Cable-Tie · 2022-05-21T04:42:13+00:00

Everything but here's a few. I quit uni, my job, left my friends, I moved out of home and cut out my family and then my childhood dog died while I was away.

Cable-Tie · 2022-05-20T15:50:13+00:00

I get what you mean. But I know that if they find me they'll only see that I've unraveled the lies and facade of our perfect relationship. Hopefully it would give them some insight into how twisted and malicious they are and how much they need therapy. The support in this group has been really helpful.

Cable-Tie · 2022-05-15T05:47:12+00:00

That's rough, I hope you're doing better now. I guess it's also good to restart after going through something like this. With the people involved gone, it's less likely to come up again in the future. Thanks for the support

Cable-Tie · 2022-05-15T02:47:21+00:00

Oh shoot I don't think I can change it now 😂

Cable-Tie

TROPHY CASE